Too Much Pressure
Lion is convinced he’s broken. I think he’s doing it to himself now. He’s getting the bad kind of frustrated. And he’s starting to become a little bit of a child.
Yesterday I said I was going to wax him and play with him. I said I was going to use clothespins. But when I used the clothespins he was not amused. He was hard and then he wasn’t and then he was and then he wasn’t. He said he didn’t think we were going to use clothespins. Really? He said he thought he was going to have sex. I asked if the two were mutually exclusive. There’s no reason we couldn’t play and then he could have sex. We’ve done it before.
I think he was also annoyed that I didn’t wax him. It’s not like I didn’t do anything all day. I did laundry. I changed the bed. I made dinner. While Lion snoozed in the afternoon, I went and wrangled the garbage cans from the curb. Before my shower I punished him for not thanking me for his last punishment and for forgetting to remind me of punishment day on Saturday. By the time I got to Lion fun time, I was tired but I soldiered on.
I thought playing with him, even with clothespins, would get him in the mood. He likes to be played with. I didn’t use Icy Hot, after all. I wasn’t being mean. I really wanted to do something that would help him.
The sex he wanted was a blow job. Okay. I’m game. I was a little put off when he didn’t like the clothespins but I wasn’t going to stop. When the blow job wasn’t really working, he told me it was okay. I could use my hand. Oh? Thank you! I don’t want to make a big deal out of this, but I do get tired. By the time I stop trying, I’ve already gone well past the point of being tired/sore/achy. I’m wondering if we’re putting too much emphasis on getting him there.
I’m not suggesting giving up. I’m just saying maybe we need to fall back and regroup. Lion is frustrated by how long his recovery is taking. Now he feels sexually stuck. Things take time.
I think I’ve been afraid of just teasing him. Once he shows signs of life, I’ve been going for gold. Maybe that’s wrong. Maybe that’s rushing things. There’s no reason I can’t just mindlessly play with him once he’s hard. If I don’t focus on edging him maybe he’ll be able to get there. I know that sounds counter intuitive but I’m just trying to take some of the pressure off.