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In: Mrs Lion Comments

There was a scheduling snafu with Lion’s post-op appointment. We rescheduled for Monday afternoon. The ophthalmology appointment provided interesting news. His right eye pressure is holding steady. This is odd since Lion feels like he’s losing vision. However, he has a corneal ulcer so now he’s on antibiotics. His contact tore a little over a week ago and we think that’s the culprit. Unfortunately, he’ll need surgery to bring down the pressure in the left eye.

The surgery sounds like a minor procedure. It could take as little as a few minutes. They numb the eye, do their magic and it’s done. Lion will have an eye patch for a day or so and we’ve already decided he’ll be Pirate Lion. There’s some chance it will bring back vision to the left eye but the doctor doesn’t want to stick his neck out.

On the plus side, Lion walked all the way through the hospital. It’s certainly his longest walk since the surgery. He was a tiny bit wobbly from time to time, but he made it. And he didn’t seem all that tired afterward. Of course, he walked quite a ways and rested, walked more and rested, etc. But still, the walk from the car to the appointments was fairly long. Multiple buildings strung together and every department is in a different building on different floors. I almost need to leave a trail of breadcrumbs to find my way around when I visited Lion.

Today is waxing day. Lion has mentioned it at least three times today. He says I never acknowledged him the first two times. It’s true. I was too busy rolling my eyes. Whoopie! Another thing I “get” to do. Last night he told me I could use the new Flesh Light when oral stimulation wasn’t working. Can I? Can I please?

I’m being sarcastic because, to me, it sounds like he’s allowing me to do something I’ve been waiting my whole life to do. Remember the game Mother, May I? Except our game is called Lion, May I? Sorry. I just think the whole doing-things-for-Lion is finally getting to me. Maybe it got to me a while ago but I’ve been too stubborn to admit it. Or maybe it’s just gotten to me more since I’ve been back to work and have less “me” time.

Ordinarily, we share chores around here. With Lion unable to do many things, it falls to me. I don’t mind doing them. Okay. I mind a little, but these things need to be done. When Lion presents things like waxing and “administering” to him as things I get to do, I guess it jumps up and down on a nerve. I feel like I should bow and say, “Oh, thank you, my liege. Thank you.” And that’s not really fair. He’s absolutely not saying it that way. It’s me. It’s the way I’m hearing it.

No, Lion, I’m not suggesting I stop doing things for you and to you. I’m not giving up. But I do need to figure out a way to not hear things the way I’ve been hearing them lately.

[Lion — I really shouldn’t have asked her to use the toy. Obviously, I’m being way too demanding. I also shouldn’t have discussed waxing me. I am enough trouble without the extras.]

[Mrs. Lion — Disagree. It’s me.]

By:
In: Sex, Lion's Journal

Yesterday,I went back to the ophthalmologist. My good eye, the right one, has been responding excellently to the medication. Unfortunately I have an infection in that eye probably caused by one of my contacts ripping. The other eye isn’t doing as well and will require surgery. It’s tentatively scheduled for next Thursday.

I managed to walk through the hospital over some fairly good distances. Mrs. Lion tells me that I wasn’t very wobbly. This is good progress.

I wish I could report progress on the sexual front. With the help of my boner pills I achieved a nice erection. Mrs. Lion tried valiantly to get me to the edge. I got very excited but still sat on that annoying plateau. I was quite discouraged. She vowed to keep trying.

We even tried the new Fleshlight. I couldn’t feel any of the texture inside of it. Mrs. Lion used a new lube that I received as a sample for review. It was very gel-like and its thick consistency may have masked the sensations inside. Alternatively, I just may not have been sensitive enough to feel them.

Mrs. Lion left me wild when we went to sleep. I suppose there’s no real reason for me to be in a cage if I’m so sexually dysfunctional. I’ve gone through slumps in the past. I don’t recall them being quite this prolonged or depressing. I suspect this particular slump is due to me being depressed by my physical limitations.

I really should be feeling cheered up. My good I has normal pressure and no further deterioration of the optic nerve. There is every reason to believe that I will continue to have good vision with it. I do feel better about that. But I still don’t feel very good about everything else.

Mrs. Lion plans on waxing me this afternoon. Normally, she’ll do half my body one day and the other half the next. I don’t know which side of me she’ll attack today. We do have a head start on it since she waxed my genitals and butt crack last week. She was concerned about my ability to get down to our basement dungeon where we keep the waxing equipment. I think she’s more confident that I can do it after yesterday’s successful outing.

I really need things to get back to normal. Or, I need to get used to a new, lower level of normal. I’m really lucky that my lioness takes such good care of me. I just worry she’ll get tired of the extra work.

Well, let’s see what happens the rest of today and tonight. Perhaps I’ll have a much more cheerful report for you tomorrow.

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In: Mrs Lion Comments

It’s interesting that Lion is advocating for more foreplay for men. The stereotype is that men hate foreplay for women. They want to get in and get out. Let’s have an orgasm and we’re done. I know that’s a stereotype. But sometimes it is the reality.

I always felt that Lion went right for the gold with me. We talked about more kissing and touching, but it always seemed like his go-to move was clitoral stimulation and why-aren’t-you-there-yet? If women stereotypically need more of a buildup, why do men stereotypically rush?

Perhaps the old adage slow and steady wins the race really is true – for both genders. I know sometimes I do rush Lion. Not necessarily on purpose. I just think he’s hard so he must be ready and why-aren’t-you-there-yet? Other times I realize that he needs some sort of play to get his motor running. A spanking, clothespins, or similar concepts seem to do the trick. I’d say, for the most part, I try to start slow. If I realize I’m going too fast I back off. And I tend to use a variety of grips and speeds to spice it up a little more.

Last night I gave Lion some oral attention. He was already hard by the time I started so that was in my favor, although I do love when he starts off soft and gets hard in my mouth. I decided to use my tongue to get him more excited. Sometimes I just suck, but I wanted to concentrate on the tip more. His favorite spot is just below the head. I don’t know, maybe it’s most guys favorite spot too. He also likes when I run my tongue along the underside in one slow, firm motion. This may tire out my tongue, but it saves my neck. Bouncing up and down on him is what makes my neck sore and tired.

I’m hoping answers from the doctors today will help put his mind at ease. I’d like to think he was focused on how good I was making him feel last night, but I know other thoughts invade easily. He hit that bump in the road that derails things lately. We’ll learn how to avoid that bump eventually. Or maybe the bump will go away. Whatever the case may be, we’ll keep travelling along that road, bump or no bump.

By:
In: Sex, Lion's Journal

Much is written about how we males are supposed to function sexually. Generally, posts about male sexuality begin with pseudo-scientific “facts” discussing everything from muscle tone to hormone levels. This is the credibility-building portion of such writing. I’m no medical expert, but from the little I know most of the stuff in this section is complete crap.

Because we have external sex organs with a built-in indicator of our interest, people are very willing to assume that we are sexually simple. Essentially, get me hard, stimulate me until I ejaculate, and then leave me alone until I’m ready again. I almost never see a reference to male emotional state as part of the sexual process.

Women tend to view themselves as sexually complex. Discussions of female sexuality go far beyond hormones and vaginal lubrication. I find it interesting that a woman can consider her own sexuality as a multi–dimensional, complex process, yet look at her mate as a simple get-him-hard and get-him off creature.

I think a lot of guys have also bought into this simplistic view of their sexuality. Even if you believe this simple physical model, if you’re male you know that all ejaculations are not created equal. I know I’ve had orgasms that were plain uncomfortable. Yes, I ejaculated but it was no fun. There were other times when I experienced volcanic orgasms and produced no semen.

The ability of a man to get an erection is very age dependent. A 20-year-old will get hard if a female is anywhere within 100 yards. A 50-year-old will need some solid stimulation to achieve his erection. There are exceptions. Men of any age can get hard by thinking “good” thoughts. But in general, achieving erection isn’t necessarily an indicator of true sexual arousal.

This is where things get a little sticky. Pretty much every definition I’ve seen of male arousal indicates that an erection is absolute evidence of arousal. In a physical sense I suppose it is. But judging from my own experience, just because I’m hard doesn’t necessarily mean I want to go any further.

From pubescence on, we males are taught that if we get hard we should work to ejaculate. It isn’t “normal” not to want to come. This puts a lot of pressure on us. Sometimes it’s just nice to have a hard-on. For example, within a reasonably short time after ejaculating, I can get hard again. But I know that it will be a long, frustrating effort for me to get off a second time. Until my refractory period has elapsed, I’m not going to have much luck.

Just as many women believe we men think foreplay is saying, “Let’s do it.” They also think that male foreplay is over when they get their men hard. Young men are certainly ready to go as soon as their erection forms. Older men are interested when they get hard, but they are far from ready to go to work.

Adding enforced male chastity into the mix complicates things further. Wearing a chastity device prevents erections. Being unlocked and then stimulated, even a little, will produce a solid erection.

I think that appropriate male foreplay should always include bringing him as close as possible to ejaculation. We call this edging. I realize that in many cases doing this will shorten the amount of time it will take for him to finally ejaculate. This could have a detrimental effect on intercourse.

Fortunately, with a little planning it’s possible to build up his interest without speeding up ejaculation. Both men and women are capable of pre-arousal. That is, intense sexual stimulation without orgasm an hour or more prior to actually going for the gold. Males will develop a larger supply of semen if this happens. Females will find themselves on a hairtrigger for arousal and potentially orgasm as well.

Somehow we’ve gotten the idea that sex is a single event with the beginning (foreplay) and an end — orgasm. The idea that this is a single, continuous process makes for very boring sex. One reason so many couples like using chastity devices is that the very wearing of the device is a sort of prolonged foreplay. It also acknowledges that sex is not just something you do after you turn off the lights and before you go to sleep.

Men are particularly susceptible to this sort of prolonged play that edging provides. Being edged turns on a switch that puts us into heat and keeps us there for some time. That doesn’t mean we will have an erection. Believe it or not, an erection is not necessary for male sexual arousal. It does mean that it will be easier to get as hard and extremely easy to get us interested in going further.

I’ve been going through a sort of dry spell. I just haven’t been able to get past a certain point of arousal. A couple of days ago Mrs. Lion finally got me all the way to the edge. She did this a few times and then stopped. It was big fun. The next night I hit the wall again and couldn’t get past that same half ready state of arousal.

She worried and felt badly that she didn’t get me off when she could. I don’t see it that way. Something’s going on with me that blocks my ability to get off. Now if you subscribe to the idea that male sexuality is strictly the trip from an erection to ejaculation, that makes no sense. I should be perfectly capable of ejaculating every time my lioness stimulates me long enough.

Men and women just aren’t that different. Emotional issues can interfere with the sexual process. In some cases, a man just can’t get hard for psychological reasons. In other cases, like mine, arousal is fairly easy but I just can’t get past the finish line. I’m pretty sure I know why I’m having this problem. I’m worrying about my health. My surgery left me with poor balance and partial loss of the use of one arm. Worse yet, I was diagnosed with glaucoma and my vision is deteriorating. I’ve lost some of my peripheral vision. That loss in turn, makes balance even more difficult.

It’s easy to just say, “Lion, get over it!” Mrs. Lion would never do that. Until the situation stabilizes or improves, it’s going to be very hard for me to forget even at times when I should be focusing on getting off. When I half-seriously refer to myself as being broken, I’m referring to these emotional issues interfering with sexual pleasure.

This is a pretty extreme case. I also hope it’s a temporary one. But I think that all of us once we get past 40 years old, will find some of the worries of the day interfering with the smooth slalom from erection to ejaculation. I don’t have any scientific information to back this up, but I think that extending the foreplay over hours is an excellent way to distract the male mind and refocus it on sexual release.

In any case, I’m sure it’s better for all of us if we stop thinking about sex as a continuous process and start thinking of it as a progression of activities that may (not usually for people like me who were in chastity devices) end up with a glorious orgasm.