Sexual Epoxy

Friday night, as promised, Mrs. Lion teased me. It took a while, but she got me to the edge. I was very close to ejaculating. She stopped, but then started again and took me over the top. She told me she was concerned that I would have another ruined orgasm. She made sure I didn’t. It felt great. My wait was six days.

Things are getting back to normal here. I’m really glad. It got pretty scary when it felt like I just couldn’t get near the top. It appears that it just takes longer right now. That’s too bad. It means Mrs. Lion has to work harder to get me to the edge. I wish there were a way to be trained to ejaculate more quickly. I’ve read a lot of articles claiming that a male can be trained to do this. Most of the stories talk about training a man to ejaculate on command. I don’t know of any examples that this technique is successful. Ironically, a woman can be trained this way. Female orgasms appear to be much less mechanically-based than male ejaculation.

This makes sense. From a strictly reproductive point of view, a male must ejaculate when thrusting as deeply as possible into the vagina. To facilitate this, most men can only ejaculate on the “downstroke”. Mrs. Lion has proved this to me more than once. On the other hand, female orgasms aren’t strictly necessary for reproduction. Nature has taken a much more permissive course in the ways a female can get off.

Ironically, very little attention is given to the importance of foreplay for a male. We are expected to get hard and ready to go with virtually no sexual attention. At least, that’s the party line. I’ve been taught that a lubricated vagina does not mean a woman is necessarily ready for penetration. To really enjoy herself, she needs lots of touching kissing and licking. The physiological lubrication does not mark her as “ready”.

Males, on the other hand, are deemed ready to go as soon as they have erections. In this enlightened age you would think that what’s good for the goose should also be good for the gander. But it’s not. I’m sure that part of this is political. The women’s movement helped teach us that women need much more than a wet pussy to be ready to enjoy intercourse. There is been no corresponding male sexual liberation movement to teach women that an erection doesn’t mean a male is ready to penetrate a female. As a matter of fact, many women expect men to self-stimulate their penises to get ready.

I think that one of the big reasons we males masturbate throughout our lives is that we share the expectation that stimulation of our penises is left to our own devices. We are expected to begin masturbating as a way of preparing ourselves for penetration. It isn’t unreasonable to expect us to play with our penises when a female is not available.

Women, on the other hand, are taught not to “touch” themselves. They are never expected to get themselves wet and ready for penetration. That’s the man’s job.

I was genuinely surprised when I learned that Mrs. Lion had no idea I masturbated. I assumed she knew that all guys do that. She expected me to get her aroused before any coed activity would begin. She didn’t enjoy playing with my penis once I got things going. As I’ve since learned, like many men, I have a hard time initiating sex. I don’t know why, but I do. This caused us considerable trouble in the old days.

Even though Mrs. Lion enjoyed stimulating me, her understanding of the way sex should work was that I get her aroused and then penetrate her. It wasn’t always that simple. She enjoyed masturbating me and giving me oral sex. But you get the idea. Those things were “extras”. The meat and potatoes was stimulating her and then penetrating.

Enforced male chastity came to the rescue in our case. For one thing, she learned that I jerked off. She found out that it was a supplement to the infrequent sex we were having together. She genuinely dislikes that idea. By locking me in the chastity device and then accepting the responsibility of teasing me and eventually giving me an orgasm, she understood the need for male stimulation. This wasn’t a particularly new idea. I think she understood that all along. I don’t think she knew how important it is to me. Essentially, she took on the responsibility of providing me with sexual stimulation and ejaculation.

Because I was wearing a chastity device, I learned that I couldn’t touch my penis sexually. Essentially, I learned I wasn’t allowed to play with myself. All arousal and satisfaction came from my lioness. As an adult, I was taught what most girls learn at an early age. It’s almost the exact opposite of what women learned from the women’s liberation movement. It taught women to masturbate to orgasm. They learn to enjoy sexual freedom; orgasms without males.

I learned the exact opposite. I’ve learned that the only way I can have sexual satisfaction is with a woman; a particular one: Mrs. Lion. I don’t regret the change. Mrs. Lion is taking good care of me over the last six years. I don’t know if I can masturbate anymore. I certainly have no desire to do so. I know it’s wrong.

Interestingly, from what I read on other blogs, keyholders make a point of masturbating themselves as well as accepting one-way sex from their locked males. The guys love it. This reversal of sexual satisfaction appears to be extremely hot in some circles. The way I see it, it’s a sexual role reversal. For those of us that practice it, it’s very welcome.

Traditionally, the sexual initiator and partner guaranteed an orgasm is considered the “aggressor”. Guys have been taught from early childhood that they are the sexual aggressors. It’s a subtle form of domination that permeates Western society. It’s not naked power. It’s just a subtle concept that pre-defines sexual roles. Enforced male chastity reverses those roles. I know that I find comfort in this reversal. I believe other men do too.

The lesson in all this is that masturbation, male or female, blunts the sharp edge of partner sex. It’s not that it’s bad; it isn’t. It’s just that by sexually depending on one another for orgasms, a couple builds a powerful, primal bond. Arousal without orgasm is an expected part of life. If a man or a woman is turned on by pornography or seeing a sexy member of the opposite sex, arousal is natural and positive. However, the arousal can only be satisfied by the mate.

In our case, I depend on Mrs. Lion to give me orgasms. I’m trained not to make myself come. I’m also bound not to let anyone but her near my penis. It doesn’t matter if my Jail Bird is on or not. It’s more fun when it’s on, but the rules don’t change if I’m wild. If you subtract the BDSM from male chastity, the idea that neither partner can self-provide orgasms is a powerful emotional glue supporting the relationship.