Month: May 2019 (Page 4)

Over the years she’s been writing this blog, more often than not Mrs. Lion refers to making me come as “taking an orgasm”. I hadn’t given her choice of language too much thought up until now. I always thought of her as giving me orgasms. The reason I did this is because there very few times I can remember that I didn’t want one. But does “taking” mean against my will? I don’t think so.

In in a very real sense all of my orgasms are taken from me. They are involuntary. It may seem like splitting semantic hairs, but as a male in enforced chastity, I don’t choose when I get stimulated sexually or when I get to ejaculate. I never have the opportunity to get myself off. The fact that I’m generally happy when Mrs. Lion does make me ejaculate doesn’t change the fact that it was involuntary.

I think she likes this. I have read other women write about how they enjoy seeing men get involuntary orgasms. One wrote about attaching a vibrator to her partner’s penis and then sitting back to watch him ejaculate. She loves that he had no control at all over the process. That’s my story in a nutshell. Most of the time I’m stimulated when Mrs. Lion decides to play with my penis. Most of the time she chooses to bring me to the edge of orgasm and stop stimulating me. On other occasions, she’ll keep going and I will ejaculate. I didn’t get a vote as to whether or not I was ready or even wanted to come.

I always thought of those orgasms as gifts. Being taken to the edge a few times makes me very anxious to be brought over the top and allowed to ejaculate. That strong desire blinded me to the fact that the entire process, including my orgasm, is completely out of my control. I don’t know if Mrs. Lion is consciously aware of this. In a way, I think she must be.

She’s steadfastly refused to associate whether or not I get to ejaculate with anything else in our lives. For example, on more than one occasion I’ve suggested that orgasms could be rewards for good behavior. Withholding them could be part of punishments. She never liked this idea. In the context of involuntary orgasms, it makes perfect sense to prevent me from having any mechanism to either get one or prevent one. There is no action I can take that allows me even a little control over getting to come.

In one respect I do have some control. Mrs. Lion is usually willing to let me put off sexual activity if I don’t feel like having it. I can let her know I don’t feel horny and she will refrain from stimulating me. On the other hand, I can let her know I’m really horny and she will remain unmoved and disregard my desperation and keep me orgasm-free.

The fact that I can put off sexual activity doesn’t change anything about the involuntary nature of my orgasms. I can reliably be expected to want sex almost all the time. There’s nothing either of us can do about my refractory period. That’s not the point. We’re not talking about preventing orgasms. We’re talking about taking them.

If I’m horny and locked and loaded for sex, Mrs. Lion is in the catbird seat. There’s absolutely nothing I can do to prevent her from making me ejaculate. There’s also nothing I can do to convince her to let me come. My orgasm, if she chooses to take one, is absolutely involuntary on my part.

I had no idea that involuntary mail orgasms is a female form of recreation. Some women are turned on when they can produce them in the male they are with. I’m not claiming that it makes Mrs. Lion wet when she gives me an involuntary orgasm. I am saying that either consciously or unconsciously she likes the concept.

She freely admits that she likes to make me come. I don’t think she’s ever analyzed why. I’m sure part of it is she likes to see me having so much fun. But I don’t think that’s the main reason. If it was, I’d be getting a lot more orgasms. I don’t think it’s a pure power trip for her. I know she’s not wired that way. Also, if it were just power, she’d be a lot more assertive in other areas of my life.

No, it’s more complicated than that. Consider how she dislikes the idea of me masturbating. She was genuinely surprised and unhappy to learn that I jerked off when we first began enforced male chastity. Her first rule was that I’m prohibited from getting myself off. Obviously, that means she wants to be the only person who can make me ejaculate. That also means that she and she alone decides when she takes an orgasm from me.

I’ve always liked the idea that she has this control. I’m not sure I ever really considered why. I chalked it off to the general desire of surrendering power to my lioness. Of course it fits into that need. However, it’s more than that. There’s something exceptionally strong about never controlling when I get to come.

Over the years there have been some “accidents”. Mrs. Lion has made me ejaculate when she didn’t intend to. These occasions are few and far between. Nowadays, they only happen when she pushes me too close while edging me. When that happens, I get a ruined orgasm. That is probably the ultimate involuntary orgasm. It’s something I would never ask for or do to myself. Of course, it is pleasurable up to a point, but just a little more hand action would make it so much better.

I like that when this situation occurs, Mrs. Lion keeps her hands to herself and allows the ruined orgasm to finish. Sometimes, she will wait until my excitement dies down and then milk any semen out of my penis that still remains. She won’t attempt to give me a full orgasm. The entire process is 100% involuntary.

From my perspective, all sexual activity is involuntary. It only goes as far as Mrs. Lion wants to take it. If she wants me to have an orgasm I get it when and in what manner she chooses. I don’t participate. Even on the rare occasions when I am allowed to penetrate her vaginally, she’s on top in the reverse cowgirl position in 100% control of how far I get to go. This is also true when she orally stimulates me. She’s become expert at orally edging me. Just because she puts my penis in her mouth is absolutely no guarantee I’m going to get an orgasm.

She’s worked very hard to perfect her control. There are very few accidents. Even when we have an accident, it’s not something I caused. I have absolutely no control over any sex I get. All arousal and orgasms are involuntary. This is a very powerful exercise of Mrs. Lion’s feminine power.

new yorker map of the world
The New Yorker map of the world. Looks right to me.

I may seem fixated on the idea of getting a male chastity device that locks the head of my penis firmly in place. Maybe I am. To me at least, the one problem that makes it difficult to wear a device is that I can’t confidently pee standing up. It may seem like a small thing, but it’s the one activity my penis has to perform locked or not. If it weren’t for that one little thing, I could simply forget about being locked in a chastity device except when I try to become sexually aroused. That would be the ideal.

My penis gets entirely too much of my attention. It’s the part of my body I think about the most. One important function of a male chastity device is to reduce its wearer’s attention to his penis. Have you ever seen the New Yorker magazine map of the world? New York City takes up most of the map with some space for New Jersey then nothing until California. It’s supposed to be how native New Yorkers view the world. I’m a native New Yorker and I can vouch for the accuracy of this perception.

I think a male’s anatomical map would have a similar distortion. His penis would take up most of the image. It would be the size of a baseball bat.

Even in this view where my cock is in the center, it surprised me how insignificant it is in relation to the rest of me.

You may not believe this in a literal sense. But when I look at a full length view of my body, I can’t believe what a small amount of real estate my genitals occupy.

If I consider a different sort of representation, one based on sensations, then my penis would fill almost all of the frame.

I’m sure that women have equivalent anatomical distortions when they think of themselves. I suspect that many focus on parts of their bodies that they believe are less desirable.

I figured that over time being locked in a chastity device, my mental image of my penis would shrink much the way the physical one does when locked in its 1 inch cage.

Even after six years that hasn’t happened. My erection is enormous in my mind. The rest of the world sees a very average 6″ x 1.5″ weenie. When Mrs. Lion plays with it, I see it towering above my bellybutton like the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

In my mind, my erection dominates the landscape. In reality, it’s barely six inches long and 1-1/2 inches in diameter.

When I’m in the cage I don’t picture myself in my tiny penis prison. My mental image is of a wild lion mammoth cock. In fact, if I picture my penis, it’s generally erect. I like to think of myself as hard and happy.

It’s true that when I’m locked up I don’t think about sex very much. I only think about my cock when it needs adjustment or when I have to pee. I do have sexual thoughts, but they rarely reach the point that my penis physically reacts. Part of this may be aging, but most I think is the lesson time has taught me: I can’t get hard and I can’t get off when I’m locked up, so what’s the point?.

If I actually get my ideal male chastity device that makes urination as effortless as it is when I’m wild, I wonder if thoughts of my male anatomy will fade even further into the background.

If you think about it, the male chastity device converts the penis into a utilitarian means of excretion. It has no sexual functionality. Even if the man it’s connected to wants sexual action, the hardware forcibly reminds him that his penis no longer has that capability.

This realization makes the occasional release by the keyholder even sweeter. She and she alone can magically restore his penis into the magic wand that can provide women with orgasms and himself with joy of ejaculation.

I cleaned part of the house when I got home last night. And I worked on the laundry. Lion made dinner. I had my shower and I folded the last of the laundry. I’ve been battling a would-be migraine for a few days. It’s just floating around in the back of my head like a ghost, ready to pop out at any moment. Needless to say, I was spent.

Lion asked if I wanted to snuggle. I didn’t. He said I didn’t have to, but how can I explain to him that I’m fried? It’s times like these that I think our priorities are much different.

It’s not that he always thinks about sex, but how can he think about sex while I’m running around like an idiot? And, no, snuggling isn’t sex but it’s not a priority in my mind even though Lion is a priority. Does that make any sense? I know! It’s my fuzzy brain thinking.

When Lion’s eye drops were all in and we were just about ready for bed, he said he guessed the multiple day punishment was over. Damn! That should have been on my to do list. That is a priority. I missed it. If I can’t even keep my own priorities straight, how can I tell Lion his are wrong?

The truth is, it should always be a priority to snuggle with Lion. I can’t let life get in the way of that.

candy cane dildo
I thought a Christmas-themed dildo would be fun for Mrs. Lion. It’s sitting unused on our bathroom counter. I probably wouldn’t have been allowed to buy it if I had asked her first.

I spent a lot of years as the dominant member of my relationships. I topped women at parties and events and conducted workshops on using BDSM equipment. During all those years, I purchased very few tools. I bought a few floggers that were custom fitted to my hand. I bought some paddles and whips. Most of my toy collection was selected and purchased by my partners. I’m not saying that I didn’t get a lot of stuff on my own. I did. I like hardware and gadgets and enjoy trying new things.

The fact of the matter is that the person on the receiving end tends to fantasize about the sensations something new will provide. If they can afford it, they will buy devices and present them to their tops. Mrs. Lion doesn’t need the vast array of paddles I’ve purchased since we’ve been together. There are some she may not ever use. Her objective is to inflict discomfort without injury. I don’t think she’s very interested in any subtle differences between paddles.

Similarly, she doesn’t need to big dildo collection to play with me anally. She does need a few so that she can use different sizes at different times. I’ve amassed enough to support a BDSM studio. I should know better. One dildo feels pretty much the same as another when it’s being shoved up my ass. Yes, larger ones are harder to take than smaller ones. There is no real subtle nuance between them that I can detect.

Since we started enforced male chastity and FLRD, almost all of my acquisitions have been paddles and chastity devices. I just can’t resist the appeal of a new paddle. I’m enough of an expert about these things to avoid most of the junk available. But every so often I come across a craftsman who makes what appear to be stricter, beautiful spanking implements. Until the other day when I was forbidden to do this kind of purchase on my own, I would buy these new implements for Mrs. Lion to use.

That’s not really fair to her. In most cases, she’ll give the new tool a try and put it in the pile of paddles she keeps in our guestroom closet. The same thing happens with other toys. It’s not that she doesn’t want to do anal play; she does sometimes. Two or three insertables are enough to meet her needs. She does need a large number of clothespins of various types since she can get almost 50 on my balls at one time. She doesn’t need any new ones. She has plenty now; more than enough, if you ask me.

I am always on the lookout for new male chastity devices. The large number of available, inexpensive, Chinese devices makes getting and trying new cages an affordable activity. The German and American custom cages and tubes run into many hundreds of dollars each and we can’t afford them.

I’m looking for a device that combines comfort with complete immobilization of my urethra. My Jail Bird is completely comfortable and I can wear it safely as long as Mrs. Lion wants to leave it locked on. Its only flaw is that my urethra will wander and end up straddling a bar. Unless I poke and prod with a Q-tip to get it back into position, when I attempt to urinate I will spray urine all over the place. If I sit down to urinate, I don’t make a mess of the bathroom but I give my balls a shower of urine.

Other guys may look for improved security. They enjoy attempting escape or, if they can’t get out, having an ejaculation while still locked in the cage. I’m not interested in that it all. I’m looking for a comfortable, urination-safe device. I also like the excitement of trying new things. After all, I am in the chastity device all the time. It’s nice to change out once in a while the same way it’s nice to try different clothing. Aside from the issue with urination, there’s no reason I can’t wear the Jail Bird full-time for the rest of my life. Unless my latest experiment with a new device works, I imagine I will just stay with the Jail Bird. After all, it’s my wedding ring locked around my penis.

I don’t think I’m going to have a lot of trouble obeying my new rule. I’m not even sure Mrs. Lion will say no when I want a new toy. I think it makes complete sense to consult her about any purchase of this type. After all, it’s something that she will use on me. She won’t use it if she doesn’t like it. In the meantime, we have more than enough equipment to meet any lion taming need she has.