Every marriage develops little things that one partner does that annoys the other. One of my pet peeves is that very often Mrs. Lion doesn’t acknowledge that she heard something I said. Case in point: On the way home this afternoon from a doctor visit, I mentioned that I was feeling pretty horny. Mrs. Lion silently continued driving, eyes on the road.
Did she hear me? Will she think I’m being pushy if I repeat myself? Finally after spending entirely too much time thinking about this, I asked her she heard me when I told her that I was feeling horny. She said she did.
Oh good, she heard what I said.
Of course that left me with lots of unanswered questions I didn’t feel I should ask. Is she glad that I am horny? Is she looking forward to teasing me? Is she annoyed I brought up the topic of sex? I don’t know. A while ago she mentioned that she liked it when I told her my sexual weather report in one of my daily emails. I began doing it. I never got a reaction.
I guess she finds it useful information. I have no idea how she processes it. I find it a bit uncomfortable to just throw a vulnerable, self-revealing comment up in the air and watch it land with a plop. As I think about it, I realize this is a pattern with her. If I don’t see her making any moves toward me while were in bed watching TV, I will ask her if she’d like to snuggle. The most enthusiastic reply I’ve ever gotten is, “okay.”
Most of the time I try to fill in the blanks myself. But it isn’t very rewarding. Another example is my new Cherry Keeper male chastity device. I didn’t learn how she felt about it until I read her comment in the post she wrote the other day. Even though I’ve mentioned this several times, she still hasn’t told me how she feels about having me locked in a chastity device.
These blanks even occur with discipline. When she spanks me, she very frequently says nothing at all. She doesn’t mention why she’s doing it or how she feels about the offense. Some of the time, she will ask me to tell her what I did to earn the spanking. I do. No reaction from her. The spankings themselves are delivered silently with no expressions of feeling.
I suppose they don’t have to be dialogues or, more correctly, monologues. I think that more verbal feedback would be a big help to me. I find myself more and more reluctant to say how I feel. The silence often makes me feel that her responses to me are chores; mechanical activities she knows I want or expect.
When this extends to her teasing sessions, I start feeling badly and emotionally disconnect. Maybe I’m odd, but I need more than penis stimulation to truly get into feeling aroused. Yes, eventually I will get to the edge and beyond even if she remains silent. In a lot of ways it almost feels like I’m doing it myself.
I’ve often mentioned that it’s a lot of fun for me to anticipate future activities, whether a spanking or teasing. Occasionally, Mrs. Lion will email me a hint of what’s to come. Much more frequently, she’ll tell you what she’s planning and when I read her post I have something to look forward to.
I think this communication needs to be much more direct between us. I don’t have any idea how to improve the situation. I’m just hoping that somehow our communications will be two-way instead of what we are doing now.
[Mrs. Lion — As I explained to Lion in the car, when he said he was horny I was fighting a battle with the cruise control. I do like to hear when he’s horny. Often, I’ll say I’m sure I can make it worse later on. I did tell him how I felt about the Cherry Keeper – both versions. I usually ask or tell Lion why he’s being punished and when he says it hurts I tell him he shouldn’t do X again if he doesn’t want it to hurt. And we’ve always been mostly silent, both of us, during any kind of sex. But I understand the need for more communication. I think we’ve been lacking in that department for some time now.]