Normal For Us

writing today's post

Writing today’s post.

I write a lot about how we implement and live with enforced male chastity and our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD). Early this morning I woke up and just couldn’t get back to sleep. For no good reason, I started thinking about how our lives may be different from other people’s.

I started thinking about this the other day when I was researching nudist colonies. I was really surprised to see that there was very little pubic hair. There’s no reason in the world I would see this under any other circumstance. Frankly, I was surprised. Actually, the fact that the women were hairless wasn’t all that shocking. Women have been  doing pubic grooming forever. Men are another story.

nudist gathering

Middle-aged nudists at a gathering in England. This picture was taken Spring 2019. Notice the almost complete absence of male pubic hair.
(Click image to view larger)

I’ve always been self-conscious about being naked in the presence of people who don’t share a lifestyle like ours. My understanding was that nudist camps and colonies, aside from the lack of clothing, are generally conservative, family-oriented places. I imagined a guy missing body hair would stand out and potentially be ostracized. Yet, in picture after picture almost every single man was absent pubic hair.

Here I was imagining myself to be an oddball, eccentric guy who, even at first glance, would be rejected by the naturist crowd. Clearly, I’m wrong. It’s true that I’ve long gotten over going on doctors’ appointments without any body hair. I’ve had several surgeries while furless.

That observation started me thinking about areas in our lives that are not likely to be generally accepted. I also realized Mrs. Lion and I have a very different sense of the normal and usual than most other couples.

Mrs. Lion noticed this on a recent visit to her family on the East Coast. She found herself a little surprised when members of her family began eating before her. For the last five years she has enforced a rule that I must wait for her to start before I can eat. Apparently, she’s internalized this so strongly that it’s jarring to her when she isn’t the first to eat at her table.

Our other rules are less likely to come up outside of our relationship. After all, I don’t think she expects anybody but me to always be naked at home. She may have a similar reaction to people eating before her when members of her party spill food on their clothing, but I doubt she has any impulse to spank them for doing it. Who knows, maybe she does. I’ll have to ask her.

She always says that she doesn’t care if I have fur or not. However, she’s never seen me with all of my pubic hair. Since she doesn’t make a habit of looking at nude males, I suspect seeing hairy balls would be a bit jarring to her. It is to me.

When I was researching male waxing, the instructional videos always start with guys who have pubic hair. My reaction to them was that I thought they looked completely unappealing. I expected to have that reaction; I’m heterosexual and don’t find male genitalia in the least arousing.

When the waxing commenced and the model’s pubic hair was gone, I thought he was rather nice looking. I still wasn’t attracted to it, but I liked the way he looked. Since I haven’t had any pubic hair in more than 20 years, I guess I’ve completely adopted the view that hairless male genitals is the norm.

All these hair examples are very obvious illustrations of how things that might be unusual to others, became commonplace to us. I know that I am more comfortable when I’m wearing a male chastity device. In the last six years a very large percentage of the time has been spent with my penis in a chastity cage.

A much more unusual area of our lives may be becoming ingrained as well. Our disciplinary relationship has been going on for about three years. For the three years before that, rules were in effect but I was not punished on a consistent basis. For the last three years if I spill food on my clothing or eat before Mrs. Lion I inevitably get spanked.

While she still hasn’t started, Mrs. Lion has promised to punish me if I interrupt her or annoy her in any way. The idea is, that she becomes very aware of my behavior as it affects her and that she corrects me when I act in a negative way. I wonder if once she starts this, she will begin reacting to other people’s annoying behaviors by feeling a little twinge that they deserve to be spanked.

IWe both have learned that consistent application of whatever practices we choose tends to make those things “normal” to us. It’s taken a long time, but spanking me is just a normal activity in our relationship. Unlike the fantasies and my initial idea about how it should work, Mrs. Lion doesn’t enjoy doing it, but does it because it’s part of her role as my wife.

Her amusing reactions to outsiders is proof-positive that she has fully internalized these behaviors. I’m really happy about that. I keep hoping and not-so-subtly nudging her to internalize punishing me for doing things she doesn’t like. She’s been conditioned to behave in an opposite way: accept and ignore annoying behaviors. Given how successful we are at adopting new things, I’m sure she will be able to do this consistently in the near future.

We make these changes by agreement. Our normal pattern is that I suggest something and Mrs. Lion agrees to try it. If it works for both of us, it is adopted as part of our daily lives. otherwise she drops it.

How in the world did those conservative, nudists adapt and accept removal of male pubic hair? Did some respected member of their camp show up one day with shaved balls? Did the other guys complement him on how nice he looked? I truly doubt it. Guys just don’t do that. So how did it become an international common practice in just a few years? I have no idea. It would be very interesting to find out.

I don’t know if other people who practice enforced male chastity or FLRD have had similar experiences with the practices becoming ingrained, routine parts of their relationships. I realize that for this to happen both partners have to wholeheartedly adopt them.

I’m tempted to believe that change, like loss of male pubic hair, can sneak up on people; even conservative nudists. If the general population is willing to accept, if not adopt, some new practice, eventually it will spread until it becomes the new norm.

Of course, naturism is a tiny subculture with a relatively small number of participants. Thanks to the Internet and image searches, more people outside of their group become aware of them. The same thing is true of enforced male chastity. As it has become easier to discover people like us, more and more people try chastity devices. It helps that the cost of getting a device has dropped dramatically and is affordable for someone who just wants to see what it’s like.

I wonder if removing pubic hair will become more commonplace in the male chastity community. It’s certainly more practical, since chastity devices tend to pull pubic hair. I wonder how many guys locked in chastity devices also end up being spanked. The practices are not related directly, but enforced male chastity does confer new power on the keyholder and it isn’t a huge stretch to extend that to cover punishment for undesired behavior.

I think it’s very cool that Mrs. Lion and I have fully assimilated what started as kinks into our day-to-day lives. It’s true that we both still actively work at perfecting what we do. I regularly encourage her to be stricter and she tries hard to remember to keep me caged. Given that I’m sitting here locked in a chastity device, stark naked writing this post suggests that we have made lots of progress. More importantly, we are both very happy with the changes.

5 comments on “Normal For Us
  1. I’m clean shaven too. I shave daily to remain that way and to remove stubble. So when I’m at the gym, my absence of hair is obvious. Some guys obviously feel threatened by it! The other day there was a note posted (obviously by a member) suggesting that male genital grooming was being done at the gym—it was not really a positive paper and wasn’t put up by the management. I couldn’t help but think it was directed at me. But maybe not… perhaps others groom themselves there!

    • Caged Lion says:

      Someone was obviously bothered by guys shaving. I doubt you’re the only one. Do you really see people look at you disapprovingly? My experience has been that it’s basically unnoticed. Based on my unscientific Google searches and twitter reading, we are far from alone. Have you considered laser or waxing to replace the razor? I can say it’s a lot easier and looks better.

      • Have considered both. Cost of laser is prohibitive at the moment. Plus I’d need permission from my Queen. I do my shaving when I’m alone where on one can see, it when I change or move to and from the dressing room it is obvious I’m hairless. Perhaps there are others. I’ve not seen anyone else though.

  2. Steve says:

    I shave but I don’t wear a chastity device. My lady is the same. I have told her I will wear a device when she wears a belt. Sauce for the goose …
    She spanks me. She belts me. She canes me. Ditto.
    I have told her I’m interested in cross dressing
    So we negotiate the way we move forward (?)
    We assume that somehow we break barriers , forgetting that others do the same at the same time
    Your post was very interesting

What do you think?