Lion seems to be fighting a losing battle. At dinner last night he spilled food on his shirt. He’s already on the hook for five days of punishment including some corner time and mouth soaping. What’s he doing? Focus, Lion. Focus.

On the way home from dinner, he asked how many days of punishment were added for spilling. I proposed a trade. Erase my punishment of waxing his legs in exchange for no extra punishment for spilling food. He told me I don’t have to wax his legs. I know that. But I’d given myself a punishment and I will carry it out. He again told me I don’t have to wax his legs. I know. But I’m offering a trade. And, by the way, is he arguing with me? Take the trade you silly man. He said there’s no such thing as trading punishments. Really? Not even because I said so?

I know he’d rather have me be happy with the way his legs look, but I know he wants them hairless. It was the only thing I thought of that would get what he wants and punish myself. By trading, I thought it would erase his new punishment but still give him an element of punishment because he wouldn’t get his legs waxed. Win-win. Except, Lion doesn’t see it that way. He’d rather be spanked. Annoying.

When we got home I said I felt like I gained ten pounds from dinner. I was tired and didn’t want to move. I told him I was postponing punishment. He said okay but he thought I’d want to start. It was fine with him if I didn’t. Yes, I let him guilt me into swatting him. I’m sure it wasn’t long enough for Lion but they were hard swats and a lot of them. His buns were a little bloody because I used the tenderizer side on them for one round of swats.

This morning I’m feeling annoyed because he questioned my authority with the trade and then again when I wanted to postpone punishment for a day. Now he’s getting an extra two days of swats, with or without corner time and mouth soaping and he’s not getting his legs waxed. Win-lose. Sorry, Lion. You lose.

It’s a little hard to believe, but I actually forgot to remind Mrs. Lion of punishment day on Thursday. Considering that I just finished five days of spanking for forgetting Saturday punishment days three out of four weeks, you’d think that reminding her would be top of mind. I absolutely forgot. When I let her know yesterday morning, she remarked that she forgot too. So, she said that she would punish herself by waxing my legs this weekend along with the rest of me. She likes my legs furry, so it is truly a punishment for her.

I’m not getting away with it. I’m getting five more days of spankings along with corner time and mouth soaping. That’s certainly a lot of punishment. I can’t argue with it on any level. Forgetting shows a lack of focus on my part.  I did make a mouth soaping suggestion to Mrs. Lion. She had been using small pieces of soap that were too small to keep in the shower. I suggested they were also too small for mouth soaping and suggested she use the bar of soap in the shower. I know, stupid lion!

That’s the problem with having an erotic component to punishment. That sexual anticipation motivates me to suggest ways to improve my discipline. I know full well that when Mrs. Lion administers the punishment, there will be no sexual component at all. I don’t think sexual anticipation is the only reason I “help” Mrs. Lion become a better disciplinarian. I also do it to let her know that this is a partnership. Even if my help isn’t always welcome, I think it shows that I not only appreciate Mrs. Lion’s efforts, but I support them.

I know that on the fantasy level punishments are imposed with no regard to how they make me feel. They are external, painful forces intended to educate me. In fact they are. When Mrs. Lion informed me I would be getting five days of spanking plus corner time and mouth soaping, there was no room for negotiation. That’s what I’ll be getting. It’s possible to delay one or more of those activities if I’m sick, but I will get all of them in due course.

Some people have commented about how harsh it is to spank me so severely and then humiliated me with corner time and soap in my mouth. These same people wonder why I not only accept this but I help Mrs. Lion make it worse. This isn’t easy to explain. I absolutely dread and fear being punished. I should. As Mrs. Lion might say, obviously I don’t dread and fear it enough to avoid these infractions. She’s right. Obviously, I haven’t prioritized reminding her highly enough.

The entire point of punishing me is to teach me to obey my rules. Repeat offenses indicate that the punishment I received the last time didn’t make a sufficiently strong impression on me to prevent reoffending. In a very real sense, I control the severity of my punishments. I have no idea why I keep forgetting to remind Mrs. Lion of punishment day. It’s a simple, easy-to-remember chore. I don’t believe I’m doing it to provoke punishment. I’m sure I’m not. I just get caught up in other things and forget.

Frankly, I’m surprised myself. Just this past Wednesday I finished a five day series of spankings. I did not like that at all. I got those because I forgot to remind Mrs. Lion of Saturday punishment days. Forgetting Thursday is a repeat offense. I’ve managed to forget four out of the last six punishment days. Considering that I got five days of spankings for my last repeat offense (forgetting last Saturday), Will another five do the trick? Clearly, Mrs. Lion doesn’t think so. So, instead of adding more days of spankings, she’s adding punishment “desserts”.

It must be frustrating to be my disciplining wife. I keep repeating the same offense. At some point I will learn to stop. That’s an absolute certainty. Mrs. Lion can ramp up my punishments until I finally learn to do as I am told. She knows I’m not being defiant. I’m sure things would be much worse if she thought I was. However, that’s almost beside the point. Every time I repeat an offense, she sees it as a signal that she has to dial us my punishment. I am really not going to like the next five days. There are two more punishment days I have to remember within those five days: There is one today, and another on Monday. I better find a way to remember them!

Maybe you can’t teach an old Lion new tricks. He completely forgot yesterday was punishment day. I thought of it in the afternoon and then forgot again. This morning he confessed. Who knows how long it would have taken me to remember. Maybe not till Saturday. I thought Saturday was difficult for him. Now he seems to be regressing. Five days of spanking along with corner time and/or mouth soaping might help. I’d say it couldn’t hurt, but that’s the whole point.

In exchange for my forgetting punishment day, I’ve sentenced myself to waxing his legs. I don’t like doing his legs. They’re more difficult and I like the way his legs look with hair better than without. I suppose that’s the opposite of how I should feel. The hair on the rest of his body (except his head) is not thick. His legs are pretty hairy. You’d think that would make me want to get rid of the hairiness. Actually I don’t care if he’s hairy anywhere. It’s Lion who prefers the clean look.

Lion has suggested using a larger bar of soap for mouth soaping than we’ve been using. Right now I’ve been collecting all the pieces he deems too small for the shower. I thought those were a good size to hold in his mouth. Not so. He says he should be able to bite down on the soap to hold it in place. So what do I do with all these tiny pieces of soap? Not to worry. I’m on the hunt for a small-bar-to-big-bar conversion method. I’ve already found a few good ideas.

By the time Lion is through with his spanking, corner time and mouth soaping, I expect him to remember punishment days for quite a while. He should at least remember Saturday and Monday since his punishment will encompass those days. If not, he’ll just keep getting days added on.

After a while, you can get used to almost anything. Wearing a male chastity device, particularly a very comfortable one like my Cherry Keeper, disappears from my conscious mind almost as soon as Mrs. Lion locks it on. I only think about it when I need to go to the bathroom. It provides a few challenges there. Even though I’m working from home and therefore, naked, I don’t find myself looking down to see if it’s still there.

In one sense, it means that enforced male chastity, including hardware, is fully integrated into my being. It’s a perfectly normal part of me. If I get horny whether I’m wearing a device or not, I recognize that I don’t have any options to scratch that itch. That means that the presence of a device containing my penis has no impact.

In a way that’s too bad. Part of the fun of wearing a male chastity device is feeling the physical restraint preventing any sexual expression involving my penis. It was fun to feel the cage pressing on my nascent tumescence. That doesn’t seem to happen anymore. For me, enforced male chastity has lost its new-car shine and smell. It’s turned into reliable control of my sexuality.

In the beginning, that was our goal. We’ve managed to reach it. I’m not unique; a lot of guys who do this for more than several months also get to this point. I’m not putting it down. It represents a kind of optimum sexual state. With or without hardware, my ability to experience arousal and orgasm are 100% under the control of Mrs. Lion. That’s not a gift. I don’t think I could take it back even if I wanted to. It’s just the way I am now.

When Mrs. Lion wrote in her post on Wednesday that she expected me to remind her to lock me up in my chastity device, I made a mental note. On Wednesday night when it was time for her to help me get my eyedrops administered, I quietly put on the Cherry Keeper base ring. When she came over to put in the first drops, I pointed out that I was ready for the cage. With no further comment, she locked me in.

Later in the evening, I asked her if she even noticed that I am wearing a male chastity device. I wondered if it had become so much a part of me that she stopped seeing it. Her answer was somewhat ambiguous. She said,

“The white Cherry Keeper is more visible than the (stainless steel) Jail Bird.”

That didn’t really answer my question. I wasn’t being clear enough. Actually I had two questions in mind: The first was if she is consciously aware of my exposed genitals. I am always naked when we are alone. Has she stopped seeing this most obvious sign of my gender? Second, is she consciously aware of the device she locked around my penis?

If something is in plain sight all the time, does it become invisible? Since I am always naked, are my genitals no longer noticed background noise? Obviously, I don’t expect her to be constantly surprised and delighted when she sees them. That’s silly. Is she sufficiently aware that she consciously notes when she has a device locked on me?

It doesn’t really matter, of course. I just wonder if she too has become blasé about my enforced male chastity. It isn’t a bad thing if she is. It’s a little odd if we both feel that way. After all, each of us writes a blog post about this almost every day. I just wonder if we haven’t abstracted our knowledge and interest in enforced male chastity so that our own physical reality isn’t really part of the picture.

It’s a little like being a teacher. Maybe we’re teaching cooking. We spend a lot of time thinking about the best way to help our students learn to be excellent cooks. When we go home, we make good meals but don’t think much about how we did it. There’s no question that our years of experience living with enforced male chastity has taught us a lot. We’ve shared what we’ve learned as well as the mistakes we’ve made along the way. We continue to share what we are doing and how it’s working.

That doesn’t mean I spend a lot of time thinking about my situation as a chaste male. I don’t. It’s what I am. I miss the excitement and frustration that went with this practice for the first couple of years. Yes, Mrs. Lion still edges me within an inch of my life. She leaves me breathing hard and begging for release. Then, she puts the chastity device back on and life goes on.

I don’t know what more I should want or expect. I’m getting exactly what I should. I guess I’m just whining about the fact that since it’s not new to me anymore, there is no lasting frustration that I can hang on to. That’s not entirely true. The day after one of those brutal edging sessions, I find myself thinking very frustrated thoughts about how close I was to ejaculating and how much I miss not having the chance.

I don’t think about whether or not my penis is locked in a cage. It doesn’t matter. I can’t do anything about the frustration whether I am locked or wild. For the record, I’m not blasé about the frustration. It’s as sharp and real as it was six years ago.

While my state as a chaste male is a constant in my life, my curiosity fuels an endless search for interesting new chastity hardware. It’s probably no different than the way some people feel about getting new clothes. They may not actually need a new item, but they enjoy searching for and trying on new stuff. It’s a little more complicated when it comes to chastity devices. Assuming I find something new and it’s available in my size, I need to get Mrs. Lion’s agreement not only to purchase it but also to try it on. She’s generally very willing to indulge this.

On occasion, I come across a sex toy for men that looks interesting. Mrs. Lion will often agree to let me buy and then at some point use it on me. Most of my choices haven’t been as exciting as I thought they would be. I expected the Fleshlight to be the next best thing to a vagina. Mrs. Lion used it on me and it felt good, but nothing like the real thing. Oh well.

Sex toys don’t get used much here anyway. Mrs. Lion prefers her own hands and sometimes her mouth for sexually stimulating me. I’m fine with that. So far, nothing has come close to the way they feel.

I suppose anything that is a regular part of life, becomes routine and loses a lot of its excitement. Perhaps we are both a bit blasé about my being a chaste male. Perhaps my penis and the device that encases it are nearly invisible to my lioness. I guess that doesn’t matter as long as she remembers it’s there when she wants to tease me. I also suppose that it doesn’t matter that I’m not even aware I’m wearing a chastity device most of the time. All that means is that I’m so well-trained, my penis isn’t something I expect to play with for sexual pleasure.

We may be blasé about my chastity. We are not blasé about each other and making one another happy. That is what really counts.