Male Chastity Has Nothing To Do With The Hardware

Most people involved with male chastity think of it primarily in terms of locking a chastity device on a man’s penis. They think of orgasm control/denial as a BDSM activity. I don’t think male chastity, even enforced male chastity, is a hardware conversation.

Let’s face it, we males are the ones who suggest this practice to our potential keyholder. Look at that! The term for the person enforcing our chastity is a “keyholder”. That certainly strongly suggests that there is a lock involved. There certainly could be. And most of us guys who introduced it definitely want that hardware locked around our family jewels. But the truth is male chastity, whatever the flavor, is an exercise in male orgasm denial and control.

The most typical reason guys give for wanting to be locked in a chastity device is that they can’t control their desire to masturbate. Without hardware, hopefully very secure hardware, they can’t keep their hands off their penises. I doubt many women buy this story. It seems to me that very few women would choose to be in any sort of relationship with a man so weak willed.

Wearing a chastity device is the fun part of the game. Those of us who like them, enjoy the bondage the devices provide. There’s nothing at all wrong with this. Just don’t confuse it with male chastity. Male chastity is a very simple concept: It is simply about turning over control of ejaculation to another person. When I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me in a chastity device, I was really asking her to do two things: 1. Lock my penis in a chastity device and keep the key away from me. 2. Take 100% control of when I get to ejaculate.

While those two things may work well together, they’re very different from one another. It’s true that if my penis is locked in a device that prevents sexual activity, whoever has the key controls when it will be available to me or anyone else for sexual activity. However, if I’ve agreed to turn over sexual control to Mrs. Lion, it doesn’t matter whether my penis is locked in a device or not. I’ve given her control and I’m an adult who keeps his promises.

I think that most guys figure this out after the novelty of being locked in a chastity device wears down a little bit. For one reason or another they get unlocked and realize that just because there’s no hardware preventing sexual contact, nothing really changes. The point finally sinks in that the real contract is about sex, not about padlocks and chastity devices. That’s one reason why I think it’s silly to worry about security in a chastity device. What truly locks up your penis is an agreement to keep your hands off.

The only difference for me is that when I’m in a device, I can’t get hard. Otherwise, everything is the same. Mrs. Lion feels perfectly safe edging me over and over without worrying that once she stops and turns her back, I won’t finish the job myself. I absolutely won’t.

If you think about it, separating the hardware from the chastity could make it much easier to get started in this very exotic practice we share. Instead of convincing your partner to lock your penis in a piece of odd- looking hardware, you simply ask her to take over control of your sexual pleasure. No doubt, this will take considerable explaining, but the conversation has to be a lot less difficult than introducing a male chastity device.

I would imagine that surrendering sexual control to your partner will sound like sexy fun. After all, it is a sort of game. When you suggest to her that you will continue supplying her with all the sexual pleasures she wants without requiring her to do anything sexual for you, the topic may seem considerably more interesting to her. If you go on to say that you welcome her teasing you and frustrating you. She may shake her head at your nuttiness but she’ll probably enjoy the possibilities.

She may need some explanation about what constitutes “teasing”, but I suspect she’ll find the idea either fun or funny or both. In any case, you probably have a much better chance of convincing her to play the game this way, then you would if you introduced the hardware as well.

I know that there are people who prefer “orgasm denial” to “orgasm control”. Unless you never plan to come again, orgasm control is a much more accurate description of what you’re doing. The idea is to get basic agreement. I’m sure she’ll wonder how long you expect her to make you wait. In the beginning, the best idea is moderation. Maybe suggest a week or so. Let her know that you would really enjoy getting more and more horny as you wait for her decision to give you relief.

You can also explain that it will be exquisitely difficult to provide her with orgasm after orgasm while your penis is waving in the breeze. In this respect wearing no device is an advantage. She can see your frustration. She can make it worse. Mrs. Lion loves doing that. She has free and immediate access to something that used to be fun for you to touch but now is just for her.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that the hardware actually takes some of the fun out of male chastity. Think about it. There is little satisfaction for your partner knowing that she’s locked the steel cage around your penis. How much more fun as it to see you hard and struggling to keep your hands off her property? Don’t believe me? Ask your wife. Which is more fun: Locking your penis in a cage or training you to keep your hands to yourself no matter how frustrated and horny you get?

What do you think she’s going to answer? Maybe Mrs. Lion will give you her answer as a comment attached to this post.

6 Comments

  1. That’s an intriguing way to broach the topic of chastity to one’s wife/partner. It could very well work and if the man involved wants that chastity cage experience, it can be introduced after the process has started. Might work very well!

    1. Author

      Thanks.It seems much less weird to lead with the sex instead of the hardware.

      1. Author

        A woman can relate to sex, not so much chastity hardware.

  2. Your reasoning is correct. And surely to you. Serve him because he has trained his will and now he does not conceive of obtaining pleasure without the approval of his Domina. But the male chastity lifestyle process is as varied as couples who practice it each Domina adapts to its limits and surely the submissive adapts to them in that precisely consists the relationship between them. At first the chastity cage helps to lose the habit of
    lonely and unsupervised self-masturbation, although the cage prevents erection does not preclude ejaculation that over the days is more likely to occur if that disciplined will is missing. It will undoubtedly be Domina who decides the state of her penis, locked or not, as she likes. Personally, I am pleased to feel my penis struggle to erect while my Domina after receiving a session of my caresses decides to rest on my chest and fall asleep taking my bulky testicles and feeling my narrow penis between her bars, soon I feel her breathing accompanied and her sleep , it is time to enjoy the satisfaction of having got her to reach her orgasm and overcome the frustration of not having obtained the orgasm itself. Knowing that tomorrow can happen is surely my last thought before accompanying her in her dreams. A greeting.

  3. Your reasoning is correct. And surely to you. Serve him because he has trained his will and now he does not conceive of obtaining pleasure without the approval of his Domina. But the male chastity lifestyle process is as varied as couples who practice it each Domina adapts to its limits and surely the submissive adapts to them in that precisely consists the relationship between them. At first the chastity cage helps to lose the habit of
    lonely and unsupervised self-masturbation, although the cage prevents erection does not preclude ejaculation that over the days is more likely to occur if that disciplined will is missing. It will undoubtedly be Domina who decides the state of her penis, locked or not, as she likes. Personally, I am pleased to feel my penis struggle to erect while my Domina after receiving a session of my caresses decides to rest on my chest and fall asleep taking my bulky testicles and feeling my narrow penis between her bars, soon I feel her breathing accompanied and her sleep , it is time to enjoy the satisfaction of having got her to reach her orgasm and overcome the frustration of not having obtained the orgasm itself. Knowing that tomorrow can happen is surely my last.

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