One of the most interesting byproducts of our six years of blogging is our ability to go back and see how we evolved. Mrs. Lion commented that I’ve been reminiscing lately. It’s true, I have. I’m amazed at how many things I got wrong in the beginning. I’m astounded at Mrs. Lion’s ability to sift through my myriad suggestions and build her own unique style.
At this point we have integrated enforced male chastity and our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD) seamlessly into our relationship. This is particularly surprising for me, given that when we started Mrs. Lion had no real interest in any of this. Her love for me propelled her willingness to do these things to make me happy brought us success. She was also able to stay on a steady course despite my nearly-constant suggestions.
Activities that many people, even including some of our regular readers, consider nearly unimaginable for themselves, are routine, unremarkable parts of our daily lives. I never experience an orgasm that she doesn’t produce for me. Not one! I wonder how many couples can say that? For me it’s been six years of full orgasm control by Mrs. Lion. It’s so routine now that both of us consider teasing and making me wait as the only way we conduct our sex life. Sometimes it’s difficult for me to think back and write about male chastity because it’s gotten to the point that I don’t know anything else.
The most controversial practice in our marriage is Mrs. Lion physically punishing me when she feels it’s necessary. Even experienced spanking couples who have been doing it a lot longer than us, express a little surprise and doubt that they could convert their spanking activities into a real punishment scenario. I know that at least one of these people is a far more severe spanker than Mrs. Lion. She’s said to me that she couldn’t bring herself to spank her husband for punishment.
Spanking is generally thought about in erotic terms. I have to admit that I still think of it that way. As I’ve noted before, my continued erotic connection to spanking probably lubricates my willingness to submit to punishment. At this point, I don’t think that lubrication is necessary. Being punished is a very normal part of my life. I think there’s a very narrow gap between a severe erotic spanking given in a BDSM context, and the punishment spanking that may turn out to be less severe than the play version.
Over the years, we’ve gotten very angry comments claiming our disciplinary relationship is really spousal abuse. We dismiss that out of hand since everything we do is fully consensual. But it does bring up an interesting point: Had we presented the same activities in the context of BDSM scenes, would those people make the same complaints? I doubt it.
Apparently, the problem arises when there is no immediate consent for the specific activity. I know that sounds a little weird, but consider that BDSM scene has some form of negotiation and is voluntary at the time it is executed. This feels more comfortable to a lot of people. On the other hand, if I break a rule and Mrs. Lion tells me to present my bottom for punishment, these people apparently conclude that I am not consenting to this spanking. It seems that the proximity of permission spells the difference to some between good, clean fun and spousal abuse.
The reality is probably that the objections aren’t about the physical activities. They are most likely about the power Mrs. Lion has over me. After all, before we began our FLRD, I would ask Mrs. Lion to spank me. Usually, she would oblige. No one was troubled about that even if the spankings resulted in a very sore, bruised bottom. A good example of this was when Mrs. Lion decided to do “experiments”. I agreed that this was a good idea. So, for some time I received severe spankings as part of her experiments. I published pictures of my bruised bottom here in the blog. Nobody accused Mrs. Lion of being a sadist or an abusing wife.
No one has ever complained about the “cruelty” of bringing me to the edge of orgasm day after day without relief. This is actually very instructive. Our orgasm control is obviously a sexual activity. I have to be a willing participant. If I wasn’t, Mrs. Lion couldn’t get me to the edge. Based on feedback we’ve received over the years, some of our readers find discussion of my orgasm control hot. I think that my non-disciplinary spankings also fall into the sexually exciting category. For many, punishments don’t.
It can’t be the actual beating that provokes anger and indignation. If it was, we would get similar reactions to severe play spankings. We never get complaints about the extensive sexual teasing I receive. Nobody has ever accused Mrs. Lion of being cruel because she keeps me very horny and begging for release.
This all comes down to the simple fact that the real concern that disturbs some of our readers is that Mrs. Lion can punish me if she is not happy with my behavior. It’s not about the beatings. People frequently congratulate her for marking my bottom in a play spanking.
Apparently the real issue isn’t what we do but why we do it. It’s just how you look at it. We are very happy with our disciplinary relationship. The recent medical hiatus affected both of us. I missed Mrs. Lion’s control. A little surprisingly, she missed her ability to punish me physically. She “settled” for growling and snarling at me when I displeased her. I don’t know if she missed edging me. I certainly missed it.
For us, the undeniable take away is that physical discipline and active orgasm control are positive components of our relationship. When we were required to suspend them, each of us felt the loss. No matter what you think of our FLRD, I think you need to acknowledge that for us, at least, it is a very positive aspect of our marriage. We are not asking you to endorse it or consider it for yourself. We are just reporting on our lives. We hope you enjoy reading about us.