End of the Road

Despite his orgasm, I thought Lion’s birthday was anticlimactic. We usually plan something or I get him a present. This year, all bets were off. Between his illnesses, the move, the bird, and work I haven’t had much time to do anything. I was barely able to pick up a birthday card. We’ll go out to eat, but it just seems like a blah birthday. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe Lion is fine with everything. I did manage to find the box with more of his clothes in it. I count that as a win, if not a birthday present.

Lion didn’t want his birthday swats this year. I was surprised. He loves spankings. He said spanking is for punishment now. Bummer! I know how much he loves play spankings. In my mind, I was scrambling to come up with some other sort of punishment to replace spanking. I certainly didn’t mean to take away his play spankings. I’m sorry about that.

I know we haven’t done much along the lines of play spankings in a very long time. Lion thinks I prefer CBT. I only do it more often because it’s easier. I don’t necessarily prefer it. I know it’s the stress of the whole year crashing down on me, but I feel like I’m screwing things up. If I had kept up on play spankings, would Lion still want them? It feels like I’m mourning the loss of play spankings even though we haven’t been doing them.

I think I’m getting to the end of my rope. I need a break but there’s still so much to do to get the house even halfway livable. I just never meant to take away an avenue of pleasure from Lion.

[Lion — I am fine with giving up play spankings. We almost never did them anyway and I believe that their current use is ultimately better for us both. I did not have a bad birthday. Mrs. Lion gave me a world-class blow job and a delicious take-out Chinese dinner. She’s been working very hard to settle us in our new home. She doesn’t need to feel pressured to have given me more for my birthday.]

What do you think?