Alexa, Give Lion A Blow Job

This is how the Autoblow ai works. The position, stroke length, and speed are computer controlled.

It had to happen. Artificial intelligence has entered male sex toy design. The Autoblow ai is the latest mechanical male masturbation sex toy. It is a clever combination of a silicone sleeve designed to feel like a human mouth and a computer operated cylinder that provide stimulation to the penis.

We’ve tried the Fleshlight which is a hand-operated vagina and mouth simulator. It consists of a plastic case containing a silicone sleeve with various protrusions inside designed to simulate a vagina or anus. Mrs. Lion tried two versions of the Fleshlight on me.

I got very little stimulation from the Fleshlight sleeves. It didn’t feel like real sex and didn’t provide enough pressure to get me going. I know that we probably used too much lube. I’m sure that with further experimentation the device could successfully edge me or get me off.

The big drawback with the Fleshlight is that it’s rather large and awkward for Mrs. Lion to use. We didn’t do very much experimentation. I think it might be more successful if she held it steady and I humped it. Neither of us felt very motivated to perfect any technique with this device. Mrs. Lion prefers to use her own hand or mouth.

The Autoblow ai seems to operate very similarly to the Fleshlight. The main difference being that the Autoblow ai does the moving for you. This company has been making motorized masturbation sleeves for a long time. They’ve gone through two versions before the new one. The older models are simple, motor-driven devices. Essentially they jerk you off at whatever speed you set. Stroke length is constant.

What fascinates me about this new incarnation is that the motorized “hand” that supplies stimulation through the sleeve is controlled using a computer program that is said to simulate the actual mouth and hand motions of a real blow job.

According to the manufacturer, a group of data scientists analyzed thousands of hours of porn footage showing oral sex. They analyzed how real blow jobs are performed. They created a computer model containing this data. They built the device with several sensors to feel how the penis is reacting as well as the position of the “hand”. The result of this is a device that varies not only the speed of masturbation but where on the penis it is applying the pressure.

It comes with 10 programs that the manufacturer claims  accurately simulates real-life oral sex. They claim that the user can select not only which pattern he wants but also the speed of stimulation. Apparently there are also a couple of patterns that automatically vary this to accurately reproduce a porn star blowing you.

I love gadgets. I’ve never tried this device so I can’t report on how well it works. I’m not the most responsive subject for sex toys. They usually don’t do a lot for me. My disappointing experience with the Fleshlight (I have two, each with a different texture inside) suggests that I probably won’t have much fun with anything that uses a silicone sleeve to stimulate my penis. Also, Mrs. Lion isn’t particularly interested in applying automation as a source of sex for me.

I have to admit I would like to try this device. I am fairly sure that the claim that this accurately reproduces a human performing a blow job is inflated. However, if the combination of inside texture of the sleeve and the snugness of its fit are right, the computer-driven “hand” could produce some seriously interesting sensations.

The website for this toy is here. It costs between $200 and $300 depending on the current specials. It’s expensive, but not crazy. If it really works, I guess it’s a bargain.

I suppose that in my case the Autoblow ai would be less of a toy for me than a labor-saving device for Mrs. Lion. She wrote that her goal was to provide 50% of my orgasms with her mouth. As of now, she would have to give me 21 blow jobs to equal the number of hand jobs I have received to date. The current count is about 75 hand jobs to 11 blow jobs. With the Autoblow ai as a stand-in for her mouth, it would be easy for her to reach her goal.

I’m not suggesting she do this. I do think it would be fun to try this gadget. If it’s effective, it could turn into a pinch-sucker when Mrs. Lion wants to save her energy. I have no idea whether or not we will actually get one of these. I do think it’s an interesting concept sort of like our robotic vacuum cleaner. It doesn’t totally replace human cleaning, but it does reduce the amount of work Mrs. Lion has to do. Before anyone gets too huffy about why I’m not doing this work, it’s because I have severe allergies that are exacerbated when I do anything that involves stirring up dust.

The Autoblow ai could be the next step in our smart home. If it would work with our Amazon echo (we have five of them scattered through the house), Mrs. Lion could just lie in bed and say “Alexa give Lion a blow job.”*

* I have one of those devices in my office and when I dictated that quote, she answered, “I’d rather not answer that.” Maybe she isn’t liberal enough to help Mrs. Lion deal with me.

2 comments on “Alexa, Give Lion A Blow Job
  1. Hmmm who knew Alexa was a prude??!!

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