Lion always says I never tell him what I think about new toys. I usually do. I think he doesn’t listen. This is not the same thing as hearing. He acknowledges I’ve said something, but did he actually listen?

He emailed me about three items he saw on a website. I said I thought we had something similar to two of them. He agreed and ordered the third. That was the prickly jock. The package arrived in a few days and in it was the prickly jock and the cock and ball harness. What the hell?

When he asked me what I thought of them I said the prickly jock looked like it might be good for punishment as well as play. He listened to that. I said the harness looked like something I could accomplish with rope. He heard that.

I don’t like complicated toys. The harness has ambiguous straps that can go over the balls, under the balls, around and around in circles. Putting it on is like solving a puzzle. The good thing about it is, once you’ve figured out which end is up, it stays put better than rope can. But I like rope better. I don’t have to worry about the snaps lining up or does this strap go over or under or around. It goes where I tell it to go.

We tried the jock last night. Those straps are more intuitive. It only goes one way. Once we figure out how tight the straps should be, I assume it will be more effective. I know it hurts because I grabbed it and Lion winced. I’m sure he’ll have to be standing so he can feel the full prickliness. However, it gave me an idea for another prickly product.

Those same spikes would be good for after-spanking shorts. Imagine having a burning red bottom and then having evil prickly points making that burning red bottom even more uncomfortable. Maybe I should quit my job and design evil sex toys. Of course, there are better people for that job so I’ll stick with my chosen profession. Besides, I can always make toys exclusively for Lion.

confinrment jockstrap with points
This is the leather confinement jockstrap I just got. I’m going to be sorry I bought it.

Trust me to get myself into trouble. Last week I received an email advertising products by Strict Leather. Two of them caught my eye. One is a leather jockstrap lined with prickly points. A picture of it is to the right. This is bound to be very uncomfortable to wear. I knew that when I ordered it and I decided it might be “fun”.

I checked with Mrs. Lion and she was agreeable to me purchasing it. So I placed the order. It arrived on Friday afternoon. Mrs. Lion looked at it when she got home from work and shook her head. I didn’t ask to put it on immediately, but we did discuss it a bit. This jock locks on with three or four little padlocks (not provided). I do want her to try it on me and I’m sure she will. She thought it might make a good substitute for a spanking when I’m naughty.

Yup, it might. I’m not sure how long she will make me wear it. I’m absolutely certain it will be a lot longer than I would like. I suppose I should get locks for it in case she wants me to wear it while she is not around.

Those little points are sharp! They aren’t long enough to do any serious damage but they are sufficient to make me very sorry I ever bought it. Every so often, I decide it might be fun to have something that will end up hurting. I admit that I’ve had a long fascination with these painful cock and ball toys. I’ve never actually worn one, but I’m sure that will change; probably before you read this post.

cock and ball harness
My new cock and ball harness. That’s not me in the picture.

I also bought another toy. It’s a pretty standard cock and ball harness. Mrs. Lion tried that on me Friday night. It does a good job of tightening my balls and separating them. You can see a picture of the device on the left.

Something else arrived yesterday as well. Mrs. Lion ordered a bidet toilet seat. It’s a sort of birthday present for me. She knows I like to be very clean in back. This device will squirt warm water where the sun don’t shine and leave me squeaky clean. It also blasts warm air to dry the area off. Such luxury!

Of course, Mrs. Lion will use it too. I think it is a nice addition to our home. I’m never sure how Mrs. Lion feels about my BDSM purchases. She’s never really bought more than a paddle on her own. It might be “fun” if she did a little shopping herself. Who knows?

We are still far from unpacked. My patch of hair keeps growing above my penis as well as hair in all the other usual spots. I’ve seen endless warnings about shaving areas that are usually waxed. At this point maybe I should shave anyway or go to a waxing parlor and get a Brazilian. I’m not too happy with how I look down there now. Mrs. Lion can argue that I’m not the one who has to do the looking. That’s true, but still I don’t like it. We’ll figure it out.

It has nothing to do with not wanting to wax him, but last night as I was trying to get Lion hard so I could put on a cock and ball harness, I was looking at his hair down there. I have no way of knowing how it looked when there was more of it. He insists less grows in since he was professionally waxed. But I kind of like the way it looks. I know he doesn’t at all.

I don’t remember if it’s more difficult to wax long fur or not, and I would never suggest we not wax him, but I think I like Lion au natural. I like him hairless too. I can go either way so it’s really up to Lion’s preferences. I just think it’s nice to see him furry for once.

I’ve never liked to look at overly hairy guys. You know, the ones who look like they’re wearing sweaters when they’re shirtless. It’s just not for me. And I’ve never really thought about guys without hair, except hearing that swimmers often shave to reduce drag. It seemed weird to me. For whatever reason, it doesn’t seem weird to me that Lion would want to be hairless. It’s just s preference. I guess, given all he’s written on the subject, it seems weird that he wouldn’t want me hairless. I’ve only shaved once, as a surprise for him, and he didn’t like it.

As soon as I can, I’ll get the pantry in order and wax Lion. I’ve even thought about locating the necessary supplies and setting up the table in our bedroom. There’s an open area that’s sort of a hallway/dressing room/closet. I’m sure the waxing table would fit. And it would only be temporary anyway. The problem is, I have so many other things to do, can I justify spending an hour or two waxing him? On the other hand, can I justify not spending an hour or two making him feel better?

Today I installed a bidet seat which was sort of Lion’s birthday present. What kind of a birthday present is that? I know. I thought the same thing until I mentioned it to him. He loved the idea. So now we have a Lion squirter and blow dryer. We have a Lion car wash!

The dog has a spa date this afternoon. We’ll run some errands while she has her dog car wash. I’m not sure how much unpacking I’ll get done today, but I’ll work on finding the waxing supplies tomorrow. Lion may get de-furred by next weekend. Then he’ll be able to swim faster.

When I have time, I like to surf other blogs related to enforced male chastity, female led relationships, and BDSM. I’ve noticed that the blogs that turn me off almost instantly tend to tell me what I need to do. The ones I like best, talk about personal experience and offer possible explanations as to why whatever the subject is works for the writer. Any time I read, “you should”, I head for the hills. Almost invariably the writer has no firsthand knowledge of the subject matter.

One blogger loves to talk about peeing in her submissive’s mouth. She goes on about inviting her friends to use him as a toilet as well. I cite this example because it represents a serious safety issue. Consuming urine from a healthy person isn’t necessarily dangerous. However, consuming a lot of urine will stress the kidneys since they are forced to extract not only the toxins in his body, but also the toxins excreted by the urine donor. Enough about that.

The point is that some people find this idea very erotic and accept the very irresponsible writing by this blogger as instructions on how to pursue this particular turn-on. The same is true about other practices that could cause issues. I’m sensitive to this because I spent years as the safety director for one of the largest BDSM organizations in the United States. I ran regular classes on safe play.

The reason my interest in safety gets jumbled up with my intense dislike of “shoulds” is that very often the use of that word accompanies potentially dangerous activities. One activity that Mrs. Lion and I engage in has drawn significant criticism by some of our readers. That activity is spanking. Every so often someone tells us that we are in an abusive relationship because Mrs. Lion beats me with a paddle. We don’t agree.

Spanking with a paddle is one of the safest pain-inducing activities you can try. As long as the target area is the lower half of the buttocks going down to the upper half of the thighs, it’s very difficult to do any lasting damage. The relatively broad face of a paddle prevents deep injury while creating a lot of discomfort. BDSM bottoms often refer to “sting” and “thud”. These sensations represent the range of spanking sensations.

Paddles are generally more sting than thud. The lighter-weight, broader-faced paddles have the most sting. Heavier paddles with smaller faces have less sting and some thud. I know that I am very unhappy with sting. All of Mrs. Lion’s paddles are quite stingy. Some are heavier with smaller faces and are capable of leaving lasting impressions.

In terms of physiology, the lighter, larger paddles make the skin red and generally don’t leave a long-lasting impression. Even one of those paddles, if used with enough force can create a bruise that will be felt for a day or two. Smaller striking implements, like canes, can leave deep, lasting impressions. It takes considerable practice to learn to use a cane safely. I strongly suggest limiting spankings to paddles. Hand-spankings generally have a lot of sting for both the spanker and her victim. That’s why Mrs. Lion uses a paddle for discipline.

The point of all this is to suggest that before following online instructions, it’s a very good idea to seriously think about the source. I would be very unlikely to take any advice from the pee lady. Her irresponsible instructions suggests that she probably has no real knowledge of the subject.

Every so often I go on a tear like this. I worry about our readers. Since Mrs. Lion and I practice disciplinary spanking, I know that some of our readers use us as a reference as to how they can take this practice on themselves. That’s fine. I try to be very careful about explaining where the risks lie. I also reference other bloggers who I know safely practice spanking. Some of them, and maybe us too, seem to go too far. That’s really in the eye…um…bottom of the receiver. I am absolutely fine with the severity of my spankings. I am prepared and encourage Mrs. Lion to go a bit further. Your experience may vary.

The entire point I am making is that just because you want to do what we do doesn’t mean you will do it with the same intensity. It’s taken us years to get to where we are now. Some of our readers, I know, endure much more severe beatings. Some get off with a much lighter application of the paddle. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that what you do works for you and is safe.