I hope you aren’t getting sick of our conversations about spanking. It’s been on my mind for some time. Mrs. Lion and I have crossed another boundary. Until early this week, the spankings I received, while painful, had no lasting effect. I’m not being critical of Mrs. Lion. She’s been evolving as a disciplinarian. For some reason, beginning with the series of four spankings I earned by forgetting punishment day, she’s dialed up the intensity and length of my punishments.
Apparently, the intensity was powerful enough to leave me with lasting discomfort. I think that’s important. Enduring a spanking definitely sends a message to me. Finding it uncomfortable to sit for a couple of days sends a much stronger message. It’s impossible for me to forget that I displeased her. When you combine a memorable spanking with three more, repeated once each succeeding day, the degree of discomfort grows.
That’s not surprising. What surprised me was how much I wanted to avoid each succeeding spanking. It’s hard to get in position to receive another spanking when it already hurts a lot just to sit down. Mrs. Lion was unsympathetic. All she said was that I only have x more to go and if I am good, eventually my bottom will stop hurting. How nice of her.
Thursday night we went out to dinner. It was the all-you-can-eat ribs night. I love baby back ribs! So, I ordered them. I should say that this restaurant has wooden chairs with no cushions. It was very uncomfortable to sit at the table. You would think that this discomfort would remind me that I shouldn’t order food that might drip on my shirt. Barbecue sauce has a way of going everywhere when I eat ribs.
Predictably, some sauce dripped on my shirt. I looked sadly at Mrs. Lion and I sighed. She looked at me sympathetically and said that I would only get one spanking for this offense. Thursday night I got the last of the four spankings ironed for forgetting punishment day. Mrs. Lion said it was too bad I had to get another spanking for spilling.
Mrs. Lion spanked me as hard as she did on the first night, each night I received a spanking. Every time she hit a sore spot, I yowled loudly. She said nothing and continued as though I was silent. That fourth spanking was incredibly painful. She waited until I became a bit numb and then administered a few very hard swats. Maybe she was feeling sorry for me. It’s those hard swats, I think, that give her spankings their lasting effect.
While I’m really unhappy that it’s so painful to sit down, I am happy that Mrs. Lion has passed the point where I could consider a spanking something I wanted because I like being spanked, and has moved into the area of true discipline. She’s now spanking the way the infamous Disciplinary Wives Club advocated. This website offered women advice on administering real discipline to their husbands.
I confess that I have read that site and found it arousing. It turned me on because it showed women how to effectively control their husbands. I like that concept a lot. Thinking about it is very sexy. I imagined myself being disciplined by a member of that club. In fact, most of what was written there is essentially BDSM porn. However, the suggestions about spanking are accurate.
Now I am truly a disciplined husband. Mrs. Lion spanked me effectively. No, she isn’t being abusive. She is doing exactly what I need. In fact, I’m very sure that she will be adding more very hard swats to my spankings.
Our rather trivial rules are still in effect. Now that the punishment is so effective, perhaps Mrs. Lion will sentence me to less repeated spankings for trivial offenses. One of her current spankings is easily equal to three of the kind she gave prior to this week. That’s just my opinion; hers will probably be different.
Now that the discipline issue is settled, it’s time to talk about the reasons to give those fearful spankings. I’m referring to offenses that cause Mrs. Lion to be angry or hurt. We already have one rule that applies directly to her personal pleasure: She is to receive sex from me, with me initiating at least three times a week. We’ve agreed that those three days are Monday, Thursday, and Saturday. Other days are optional. Mrs. Lion can tell me that she isn’t interested on any of those nights. She’s agreed that she won’t do this unless there is a good reason. Right now, she is experiencing some vaginal pain and has suspended the first of the six nights we set up. The next one is tonight (Saturday). Hopefully, I will initiate successfully. I’m sure the penalty for failing to do this will be considerably more painful than the ones for the trivial offenses.
This isn’t so much about punishment. Though, punishments will be a feature of this at least in the beginning. The idea is that Mrs. Lion will learn to observe and then let me know (with her paddle) that I have done something that upsets her. Her pattern is to internalize these things. Her job is to learn to express her feelings at the time she feels them and to correct me in a way that’s meaningful.
Whether or not you agree with the use of corporal punishment inside our marriage, I hope you understand that we are building something that will give us lasting value. After all, that’s the really important objective.
I like the new rule! I’ve always felt bad that Mrs Lion wasn’t receiving sexual pleasure. I hope it works for the two of you. That would be nice to read about should it become the case.
It bothers me too. I’m hoping the new rule will keep sexual pleasure for her on top of both of our minds. Which reminds me, today is punishment and sex day.
When I read what you write about this disciplinary program of yours, I am struck by the feeling that you are writing about yourself almost in the third person because you are describing this goal of having your wife beat you more and more intensely to affect some sort of behavioral change. It seems like that, I think, because you are presumably fully on board to do your best to comply with her rules and please her.
If that is the case, what more can getting your ass shredded possibly do to change your behavior? You are presumably doing everything a rational man who loves his wife can do. It seems like you are ending up with a harsh punishment regime for honest mistakes and inadvertence. I mean don’t you already want to do everything you can to make her happy? If you did hurt her, wouldn’t it almost certainly have been unintentional, and wouldn’t you do whatever you could to fix it?
I’m not sure I can articulate this well, but when I read these posts there is something I can’t get my head around in the sense that you are advocating punishments to make you behave a certain way, but you presumably want to do everything you can to behave that way.
I suppose maybe this punishment reduces “crimes” of mindlessness or carelessness, but with all the thought you give to these spankings, how much more can you think about the rules and do to comply?
I think perhaps what I am asking goes to the real purpose of these DD relationships: is it truly to get you to change, or is there something you need and get from receiving out-of-your-control, harsh punishments in a nominally disciplinary framework other than securing compliance with your wife’s rules?
I mean, lately at least, most of your punishments are forgetting to remind her to punish you, which seems a bit circular.
Anyway, I just find the psychology interesting.
You bring up an interesting point. If I, or anyone else for that matter, always behaved rationally, then there would be no sense in administering punishments. I would already be doing the absolute best I can to comply. However, we aren’t perfect creatures and we do make mistakes. Sometimes they can be quite hurtful. We can also do things unconsciously that are similarly hurtful to someone else.
For example, I’m excited about some subject we are discussing and in my excitement I run over what Mrs. Lion is trying to say. This upsets her because it shows that I am disregarding her point of view. She has a long history of pushing things like this into the background until the cumulative value of the upsets gets high enough that she might express them or more likely, behave in a passive aggressive way.
By adding our disciplinary routine, we accomplish two things: 1. Mrs. Lion knows she is expected to observe the kind of behavior I mentioned above. This is very valuable because she is learning to turn things that upset her outward and not simply stuff them inside where they can be emotionally damaging. 2. I am probably unaware that I am doing something that upsets her. By inserting a punishment for such behavior, I’m being conditioned not to do it in the future. This actually works for me. When we were just beginning this disciplinary routine, I was spanked for trivial offenses (actually, I still am). We did this to provide Mrs. Lion with practice observing my behavior and administering an effective spanking. It turned out that even though the spankings were not particularly memorable, I was conditioned not to do the things the rules prohibited.
It’s true that I don’t have any egregiously bad habits. I don’t drink. I don’t run around with other women. But for us, at least, that’s not the point.
I understand what you are saying. but if the purpose is to get her to express her displeasure or hurt, does she actually feel the need to express it through bruising spankings that leave you sore for days? It seems like she is doing this because you want it, not because she needs the outlet to feel better in these situations. I would think the first step for her would be simply to tell you when you hurt or disregard her so you are aware of it and then escalate things physically if you can’t or won’t stop, but it seems like that initial step has been skipped, and you went straight to very painful punishments for these misdeeds. At least that’s the sense I get from what I’ve read.
If, on the other hand, you feel so badly and guilty when you wrong her that you can only feel atoned with these severe spankings, that would be a different story, but I don’t think I’ve seen you say that.
Obviously, you both want and are committed to doing this. It is just hard to figure out the source of your zeal for what by your account is a really miserable and depressing experience. It doesn’t seem like Mrs. Lion is saying it is for her benefit or even that she thinks she will see it that way eventually.