Well, we didn’t end up playing with the new prickly jockstrap last night. We decided to go to the casino and have a little fun and take advantage of a free dinner we were offered. The local casino has a really nice buffet that normally costs about $35 per person. Getting coupons for free dinners is an irresistible treat for the two of us. We normally win a couple of bucks or lose a few when we go there. It’s possible we’ll even lose the cost of the dinners. But we both like to play the slots.
Friday night I got spanked for spilling barbecue sauce when we went out to dinner on Thursday. Mrs. Lion took it a bit easier. A “bit easier” now is more severe than she was before this newest incarnation of lioness 3.0. It hurts to sit down. It’s especially bad when there are no cushions on the seat. I thought I was doing well until we went to our car dealer to get the oil changed in our compact SUV. The seats there had minimal padding and I felt it.
This is very new to me. I’ve been spanked in the past as part of BDSM play. Some of it, quite severe. I’ve been caned, strapped, flogged, and of course paddled. Occasionally, I would feel a little sore next day. That was very rare. Now, I’m quite uncomfortable and have been all week. I’m not feeling sorry for myself. Actually, I think it’s this residual pain that provides the most benefit from a punishment.
Yes, it’s really awful when Mrs. Lion paddles me now. It’s supposed to be. Occasionally, readers comment on why I would consider this something good. It’s good because it benefits both of us. Mrs. Lion has a positive outlet for dealing with things I do that upset her. I can’t say that what we’re doing is right for everyone. Let’s face it, domestic discipline isn’t a particularly popular practice.
The important thing to consider is that in our case it’s not something being imposed on me. It’s something I elected. From what I’ve been able to learn, pretty much every male who is in a DD relationship, requested it. I suppose there are as many reasons for this is there are people practicing it. In rare cases, there is a seriously dangerous problem like excessive drinking. The drinker, a man in our example, knows he’s in trouble. For whatever reason, he doesn’t choose the more conventional treatment opportunities. Most likely, his wife is tired of his drinking and has let him know that she is at the end of her rope. He, has read about domestic discipline and imagines that physical punishment might be the way to cure him.
I’m aware of several people who have done this. No, they didn’t magically become sober. But they did add personal accountability when they slipped. Their marriage is improved. Mrs. Lion and I have always had a very good marriage. But I think that one of the reasons it’s so good is that she “gives in” a great deal of the time. So, instead of alcohol, my problem may be that I’m too overbearing.
This bothers me a lot. It’s true that I do like it when Mrs. Lion is in control. But that’s not the most important reason I wanted to be in a relationship like this with her. I want her to feel her own power. I want her to know that I will love her no matter what and I truly care about how she feels about things.
That’s why lioness 3.0 is so important to me. She stands up for herself and uses her paddle as an equalizer. That wasn’t going to happen even if she spanks me if the punishment was too mild. I am both happy and sad to report that “mild” is not a word I could possibly apply to Mrs. Lion’s spankings. This is how I wanted to be. It’s not abuse because I want it. I’m very sure that we have made the right decision to pursue this.
“It’s not abuse because I want it.” This is what I try to convince my wife when she says that she does not want to hurt me and finds it disturbing to see bruises on my thighs. I made those bruises myself because I crave that level. I tell her that I only wish that she was leaving those marks on me. I salute Mrs. Lion for achieving lioness 3.0
I’m not sure how good an idea it is to bruise yourself. That might be something that you may want to get counseling about. I would suggest you ask your wife to start off just the way Mrs. Lion and I did. We started with some very simple, somewhat silly rules. The spankings were at whatever level she was comfortable delivering. Over time, with my gentle encouragement, the spankings grew more painful and eventually got to the level they are now. I’m pretty sure they will continue growing in intensity, at least for a while. Well this stuff takes some major attitude shifting that can’t be rushed.
Do you foresee this “working” in the sense of curing or taming your being overbearing? If so, do you foresee a day when these spankings are much less frequent and look forward to that happening?
I am very sure that I will become tamer and the frequency of spankings will go down. I’m not sure I look forward to it or for that matter regret the number of spankings I’m getting now. I’m more focused on trying to make my lioness happy. Because I am me, I don’t think the spankings will ever disappear. I don’t want them to. In a strange way they represent an affirmation of how much we care about each other. I think we’re both aware of this and need the disciplinary relationship to continue.
very interesting and insightful. personally, i am not into pain at any level.
but discipline is to correct a behavior