The amount of work left to do to get us unpacked is staggering. Mrs. Lion is doing her best and is making significant dents in it. But it just seems to loom large and get in the way of us enjoying our lives. A few people have commented that the stress surrounding my medical issues and move may be responsible for my inability to get to the edge of orgasm. Maybe it has. As of yesterday (I am writing this on Saturday just before dinner) it’s been 13 days since my last orgasm. As Olympic enforced male chastity athletes consider it, this is a very short wait. I consider it about twice as long as usual.
I can’t say that I’m feeling sexually frustrated. I’m not. I think I’m just plain frustrated. I can’t find things that I need because we are still surrounded by cartons full of our possessions. I’m in continuous danger of tripping over said cartons. I’m starting to wonder how much of the stuff we haven’t unpacked we really need. I’m also frustrated that it’s difficult for me to work because I can’t get to the office. My vision is pretty poor and for a guy who’s been a avid amateur photographer his whole life, this is very disturbing.
Where does sex fit into all this? I’ve always thought that sex and all the fun things that surrounded are equally important as the other, less exciting things I have to do. I’ve always managed to get an orgasm in one way or another despite difficult, sometimes painful life situations. Maybe I’ve met my match. Perhaps I’ve lost my sex drive. Is loss of libido contagious?
I am incredibly lucky that my lioness stays with me and helps me. She has to do so much more than she ever did before. I’ve never been in a situation where I can’t take care of everything I need done. Right now, I can’t reach high shelves, I can’t lift things that weigh more than a few pounds, and I can’t see much of anything in front of me. Mrs. Lion helps me find my way around. She patiently helps me find my glasses when I drop them, cleans up spills I make because I bump into glasses and cups, and drives me where I need to go.
All this is amazing and sustains me. Something’s kind of disappeared. There isn’t a lot of touching, hugging, or kissing right now. I know Mrs. Lion has been having a migraine headache, but this predates it. Could it be that all this service she performs for me is making her angry? Is she doing all this out of duty and feeling badly that she has to? I don’t know.
Maybe I’m burning her out. I know she loves me. She tells me all the time, particularly in email, not so much in person. I am very sure it’s my fault. I just don’t have any idea how to fix it.
I don’t think I’m in any danger of losing her. I think perhaps, some new, bad habits are setting in. Maybe my physical disability makes me more needy for affection. I don’t know.
We’ve both mentioned here in the blog that it may be time for me to be locked in a chastity device again. Maybe the familiar patterns of relating when I’m locked up will rekindle the affection I think I’m missing. More likely, we just could be in a rather difficult place.
Mrs. Lion and I had a discussion not long ago about finding time to do sexual and perhaps play activities. Mrs. Lion has said and written that she is so busy between work and getting unpacked that time isn’t available for much of that. I commented that she spends quite a bit of time every day playing games on her iPad. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, but taking some of that time away and devoting into things we can do together might be more satisfying. She agreed and went back to her iPad.
I think it’s bad habits. It’s just easier to do something alone then relating to me.
[Mrs. Lion – I alluded to locking Lion in the cage again. I even considered doing it the other night when I couldn’t get him to the edge. My thought was that if he couldn’t get there then maybe a few days locked away would do the trick. I couldn’t decide if this was technically using the cage as punishment and I didn’t want to do that. On the other hand, Lion likes being locked in the cage (except when he doesn’t) so it might actually have helped turn him on and, therefore, get him to the edge. As you can see, I have no idea what I’m doing anymore. The one thing I am sure of is that I love Lion and I’ll do anything to get us back on track.]