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In: Mrs Lion Comments

Last week, Lion asked if we could be more physical aside from sex. He wanted more snuggling and more hand-holding. I agreed and, in addition, suggested date night. I thought maybe we could go to the movies or, better yet, watch a movie at home. He loves going to the movies and always laments that he never saw this movie or that movie. A few years ago I told him since he’s the one who wants to go to the movies, he should be the one to find out when it’s playing and we’ll go. He rarely does that, so we watch most movies at home. However, it’s been quite a while since we’ve watched a movie on a Saturday night.

The movie theater we go to most often, serves food during the showing. It’s not the greatest food in the world but it solves the problem of timing dinner with the start of the movie. And I like it because the tables tend to keep a certain amount of space between customers and the rows are further apart. I don’t like feeling trapped in a row. With this in mind, I thought it would be fun to get potato skins and mozzarella sticks to snack on during the movie. Lion agreed.

Yesterday we ran some errands and Lion asked what we should do for dinner before the movie. I forgot about the snacks. He suggested pizza. Done. Lion was snoozing while I got salad ready and when the pizza was delivered. He woke up to eat and then fell back to sleep. So much for date night. But then he woke up around 8:30 and we began.

I knew which movie he wanted to see. I knew he’d read the book. I purposely hadn’t read the book. There’s a dog in it and I’m not sure if Lion ever told me flat out or not, but I was pretty sure the dog was going to die. At the very least, he was old and you just know he was heading in that direction. But Lion wanted to see it and whether we watched it for date night or some other time, I was going to see this movie. And right off the bat, the damn dog is dying. What the hell! Needless to say, I was in tears from the get go.

The thing we didn’t do is snuggle or hold hands. I’m not sure why. I guess we were united in our tears for the dog. The bottom line is we had a nice evening in and, even though we didn’t touch much, I hope we’ll do it more often. There are a lot of movies out there we want to see.

[Lion — There is a much more personal reason why I wanted to see that movie. You can find out what that is my post tomorrow morning.]

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Female led relationship with discipline, Punishment, Sex

Well, she did it. I got my mouth soaped Friday night. I was owed that because I forgot punishment day last Monday, I think. These delayed punishments make it hard for me to understand what I did wrong. (After I dictated that last sentence, I paused and reminded Mrs. Lion that today – Saturday – is punishment day.) I also let her know that the deep bruise I got when I missed the dismount from the massage table has healed. That makes me available once again, for spanking. I believe I am owed four. I’m not looking forward to them.

Lioness 3.0 is a lot stricter with her mouth soaping. It’s been a challenge to adapt childhood punishments to be effective on an adult. She’s succeeded. Oh boy, has she! She started by rubbing her soaped-up hands all over the inside of my mouth. She didn’t miss a spot. Then one of her small soap slivers, that she keeps in a jar by the sink, was inserted in my mouth. I was told to hold it between my teeth. I remained that way standing over the sink, looking into the mirror and watching the foamy, soapy water dripping out of my mouth onto my chest and the sink.

It felt like this was going on forever. I wondered if I was going to get chemical burns from the alkaline soap. Eventually, Mrs. Lion returned to the bathroom and removed the soap from my mouth. She told me I could rinse and I took a couple cupsful of water swishing around my mouth to try to get the soap out. I got most of it, but an aftertaste remained for hours. Mrs. Lion informed me that next time she was going to also have me brush my teeth with soap. Nothing like good dental hygiene, I imagine.

After she had put the bar of soap in my mouth, I noticed that I was starting to get an erection. I don’t know what my damn penis was thinking; I wasn’t having any fun. Clearly, it disagreed. I hoped it would get small again before Mrs. Lion returned. I didn’t want her to get the idea that I enjoyed what she did to me.

As Mrs. Lion wrote in her post yesterday, she gave me an orgasm as well as a mouth soaping on Friday night. She started out jerking me off. It felt very good, at least in the beginning. She was slowly moving her hand and I was humping to help her along. Then she speeded up, which also felt good for a while. She changed up again. I’m not sure what that change was. Maybe she switched hands. In any case, I felt myself losing some of the interest I had earlier. I figured that maybe if she used some lube, it would feel better. So I asked her if she could use some lube or something else that was wet (Yes, I was thinking a blow job would be nice.). She elected to use her mouth.

Mrs. Lion gives most excellent blow jobs. It wasn’t long before I felt myself moving closer and closer to the edge. I wondered if she was going to stop or let me come. She elected to go all the way. Wise lioness.

Friday was both a lot of fun and a very uncomfortable adventure with soap in my mouth. For the next few days, every night is going to be a combination of pain and pleasure. If she can get me to the edge, there will also be frustration as well.

Based on what she wrote in her post yesterday, I think Mrs. Lion is going to readjust her sentencing guidelines. Apparently, some of the less serious offenses will earn only a single spanking. I imagine that annoying her or disobeying will earn more.

It’s taken us quite a while, but we’ve finally gotten to the point that both of us understand our roles in a Female Led Relationship with Discipline. Mrs. Lion didn’t just have to learn how to give an effective spanking. She also had to learn how to be in charge. Both skills have a long learning curve.

When it comes to administering punishment, Mrs. Lion understands what it takes to make me sorry for what I did. I’m not assuming that she isn’t going to increase the intensity of her spankings. If I were her, I would. It’s that they’ve reached the point where I know I don’t want to get one. This is coming from a guy who has always wanted to be spanked. Now I’m a guy who still likes to be spanked, but not the way Mrs. Lion punishes me.

You may wonder why I think she will continue increasing the severity of a spanking. The answer’s complex. If she continues at the same level she is at now, there is no question that she is sending the message she intends. If she uses this as a starting point for effective punishment, every increase in intensity will assure her that I will work even harder to avoid spending time with her paddle.

I’m learning something that a lot of people learned as children. I really think about the cost of breaking a rule. For example, on Saturday, when I am writing this post, I mentioned the punishment I received Friday night. That reminded me that today, Saturday, is punishment day. I put my post writing on pause and made sure I reminded Mrs. Lion that today is punishment day. The reason I didn’t stick it into a mental to do list and continue writing was that I felt truly afraid of getting yet another painful session with Mrs. Lion and her trusty paddle. It’s beginning to work as a true deterrent.

I’ve wrestled with the difficult combination of my BDSM interests and real punishment. In my research on the web, I noticed that I’m not unusual in that respect. There is definitely a wish to be submissive, in some areas of life, that prompts me and other men to work with our wives to set up a disciplinary marriage.

That worried me at first. I wondered if I wasn’t just working on setting up BDSM scenes to satisfy my desire to be spanked. I know of couples who do this. They sometimes use punishment scenarios. After all, they’re very hot. I suppose there’s always a bit of an element that in a domestic discipline marriage. I suppose people who grew up in the DD environment wouldn’t have any sexual connection between spanking and punishment. To them it would be pure pain and unhappiness. They also would be very unlikely to share their experiences because to them, it is a normal part of daily life.

To people like us who haven’t grown up in families where one of our parents was spanked, the practice is a combination of BDSM sexualization and true domestic discipline. The trick is, I think, to separate the BDSM out of domestic discipline so that it can be effective as true punishment. That’s why my spankings need to be very strong and strict. For our disciplinary relationship to be successful, I have to understand without a shadow of a doubt that punishment isn’t sexually interesting, and is something to be avoided at all costs. We are approaching that level now. Mrs. Lion has learned to be dispassionate about my suffering. She is beginning to understand that is what I need if I am to learn the lesson she is teaching.

This is difficult for her. She doesn’t like hurting me. She has to learn that the more she inflicts serious pain to my bottom, the more effective she is as my disciplining wife. I’m very proud of her because she is understanding this and beginning to put it into practice.

What makes this confusing to people who read about our marriage, is that we are just as committed to being loving and sexual. This is pretty difficult for us, especially Mrs. Lion. When needed, she has to be the strict disciplinarian who is completely uninterested about how unhappy her punishments make me. The rest of the time she is my loving wife who takes care of me and works hard to keep me happy.

She does both very well. This combination of strict disciplinarian and very loving, caring wife, strongly encourages me to be obedient and loving so that she can avoid becoming the strict disciplinarian. She isn’t happy when she has to take on that role. The stricter and more intense she is when she does, makes me work harder to avoid putting your into that unpleasant mode. I have to admit I’m very surprised that this works very well. In fact, it may be why we both missed the disciplinary part of our marriage when it had to be suspended.

The sort of relationship we have could be considered old-fashioned. In the past, one spouse was in charge and enforced his or her authority with painful punishments. Nowadays, most people think that sort of thing was exploitive, brutal, unfair, or other negative adjectives. I don’t think it occurred to anyone that this combination of sweet-and-sour, painful and loving, happy and sad actually works better than just a sort of emotionally level life. I think there’s an inherent stability when authority is given to one partner and that partner can enforce her role with physical punishment.

In any case, to both of our surprise, this works very well for us. Our happy marriage became even happier. There is a sense of balance that we didn’t even realize was missing before. I for one, am very happy we’ve started this and even happier that we are growing in this lifestyle.

By:
In: Orgasm, Edging, Mrs Lion Comments

We did another Costco run yesterday. This time it was for food and other supplies. We also went to the grocery store for more manageable-sized things. We got home at a reasonable time and vegetated a bit. Dinner was late but neither of us took a shower so there was plenty of time for fun.

I don’t think Lion would exactly call it fun but while I took care of the dinner dishes, he stood in the bathroom with a bar of soap in his mouth. I owed him that from the other day and, since I can’t swat him yet, I decided to make it happen. He was less than amused.

Once his soaping sentence was over (it was only about five minutes)[Lion — It felt like an hour.], we settled in for more TV. By 8:30 we were snuggling and I was touching my weenie. I figured we might get somewhere because it was early. I don’t know how long I was working on Lion’s hand job before he told me he might need some lube or “other liquid”. Subtle. Very subtle. Lion loves blow jobs. [Lion — I thought I was being subtle – Humph!]

My weenie had faded a little by the time I got back to him but mouth to penis resuscitation worked just fine. Lately, Lion has been telling me I’m stroking too fast. In the past, he’s told me I go too slow. Can’t win. Except I did. I’m not sure if I was going fast, medium or slow, but Lion was heading for the edge.

I’m always in a quandary when he’s been “broken”. Do I edge him and hope we can make it to the edge again? Do I give him an orgasm to end however long a wait it’s been? [Lion — 12 days thistime.] Usually I decide to let him come. I figure it clears the pipes out and from then on we’ll be fine with edging. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. If memory serves, I wasn’t able to edge him between the last two orgasms. It’s possible I wasn’t able to edge him between the previous two orgasms too. I hope that trend doesn’t continue.

Lion thinks he won’t have an orgasm before the end of the month. That will only give him two for November. I think there’s a week to go and a motivated partner who has a say in the matter. I’m not going to give up that easily especially now that it’s a challenge.

By:
In: Chastity games, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity
jail bird chastity device
It may not look like a wedding ring, but it turns out that this is a very important symbol of our devotion as well as our chastity power exchange.

Now that we’ve been practicing male chastity for six years, I think I have a pretty good handle on what it is, and more importantly, what it isn’t. In the beginning I was very turned on by the idea of wearing a male chastity device. I love bondage and the chastity device is certainly a very intimate form of bondage. I think this is true of most guys. In the beginning we get obsessed with getting the right chastity device. We read everything we can find about the hardware. We may even buy a device or two from Amazon or dhgate.com. We want something cool to lock around our cocks.

We also think about what it will be like to lose control of our orgasms. Once locked in that device, there is no chance of any sexual activity. The sexual activity this controls most often is masturbation. I don’t know of any guys who wear one to prevent having sex with other women. From its inception in Victorian times to the present, the male chastity device’s main purpose is to prevent masturbation.

I find that idea very hot. I’ve never been much of a secret masturbator, though I did jerk off once or twice a week when Mrs. Lion stopped wanting sex. When I got a device that fit, I asked Mrs. Lion if she would lock me into it. She agreed. She asked me a few questions about masturbation. She was very surprised to learn that I jerked off a couple of times a week. I was amazed that this bothered her. It turns out that she had no idea I was doing it and felt it was a betrayal. My first rule was that I was never to masturbate again.

That’s how we started. I think this is pretty typical. A short time later we drafted a chastity contract that spelled out our expectations. It specified that Mrs. Lion had total control over any sex I might get. It specified that she would unlock me and masturbate me to the edge of orgasm at least once every other day. She would be the only one who decides when I go further and get to ejaculate. It was a simple agreement. It said that after six months we would reevaluate and decide if we want to continue.

Mrs. Lion was sure that by six months I would want this over and done with. Within a few weeks of starting, we both surprised ourselves by realizing that we liked this arrangement. I was getting regular sexual stimulation and Mrs. Lion enjoyed having control of my sexual pleasure as well as deciding when I would get to ejaculate. It turned out that we both really enjoyed this power exchange.

shortest jail bird on lion's penisWe are still doing it. It’s changed very little. The only noticeable difference is that I’m not always locked in a chastity device. Mrs. Lion is indifferent right now as to whether or not I wear one. It doesn’t matter in terms of our male chastity power exchange. With or without a device locked on my penis, I never masturbate. It’s almost as if I’ve forgotten how. The only sex I receive comes from Mrs. Lion. She allows me to get hard if I want and I can use my hand to do it. But I’m not allowed to get close to the edge of orgasm. I never have. Male chastity for us is a way of life.

It doesn’t feel odd that I have lost control of my sexual pleasure. It feels natural and comfortable. I haven’t masturbated in six years. Unlike some guys, Mrs. Lion does not allow me to do it myself even under her supervision. She wisely believes that if she allows me to do it any time, I will be likely to try it on my own. So my paws remain away from “her weenie”.

If you are new to this, or your man has asked you to lock him in a chastity device, there are a couple of important points that our experience might illustrate. The first is that the only thing that male chastity is about is controlling the male’s sexual pleasure. That’s it. A chastity device is a very good idea in the beginning; by that I mean at least a year or two. It takes that long to get fully conditioned. I’m completely trained in terms of the sexual use of my penis. It belongs 100% to my lioness. Three years of continuously wearing a chastity device trained me very well. I know that if I’m even tempted to get myself off, Mrs. Lion will lock me back up immediately. Being wild, as we call it, is a privilege.

I think that writing an informal contract is an important beginning step with male chastity. Its value isn’t so much that it “legally” binds you as much as it defines the boundaries of this new, hot activity. Even if you plan to do it just for a weekend or a week, the contract adds a lot of heat to an already hot idea.

A chastity contract isn’t a good document that requires a form or some other complex set of instructions. It only has to cover a few important points:

1. How long the agreement is in force.

2. How often the device come off for cleaning and teasing.

3. How long (this is optional but important for some people in the beginning) is the maximum amount of time he has to wait between ejaculations. Another way to look at this is what is the minimum amount of time he has to wait. For example, it could say that he will not even have a chance at ejaculation until at least seven days has passed. This is useful and very exciting.

That’s it. I don’t suggest any other complications are required. Male chastity is a very simple game. A lot of guys try to complicate it with all sorts of rules and penalties. You may want to add stuff later, but in the beginning this is really as far as you should go.

I don’t often say “should”. I really hate when bloggers make pronouncements about what you should or should not do. The only reason I’m saying that now is that the very simple act of locking up a man’s penis and then controlling his sexual pleasure is very powerful. A lot of guys don’t realize just how difficult this can be. Also, perhaps more importantly, most women start out with absolutely no idea what this is about or why their man wants them to do it. It will take time for both partners to develop patterns that support male chastity. It’s taken Mrs. Lion and I years to fully integrate this into our marriage.

Now it is so deeply embedded in our relationship that I don’t think either of us would have any real idea how to stop. I can’t imagine having any kind of sex without Mrs. Lion’s explicit permission. In fact, I can’t imagine having any sort of sex without Mrs. Lion producing my pleasure. She has become my sole source of sexual gratification. I can’t do it myself anymore. She and she alone provides me with orgasms. That’s powerful stuff. It doesn’t seem that way when you start because it’s also very hot. Trust me, at some point the idea that sex is now no longer in your own hands sinks in. When it does, you may want to get out.

Obviously, when I realized it, I was happy. I’m still happy. I have never regretted giving Mrs. Lion power. She wields it with love and not a little mischievousness. She has fun with it and so do I. I hope you do too.