We had a really great weekend. Mrs. Lion did a lot of work that resulted in me having a new credenza in my home office that will allow us to put away a lot of stuff still in boxes. She also worked in the living room and we can actually get in now and start unpacking there too. I’m very happy she did all that work and sorry I couldn’t do too much to help.
Despite all this nesting activity, Mrs. Lion found time to insert the Njoy butt plug both Saturday and Sunday nights. I had a little discomfort on the way in and out. That’s to be expected. It was fine once in and actually felt good. The Njoy butt plug is solid metal, stainless steel. It’s very heavy and the weight feels good nestling inside me. Mrs. Lion was too tired to begin the anal training.
Based on the discomfort I feel when I have to accept the conical shape of the plug and then it’s removal, I’m starting to understand why using plugs instead of dildos is the best way to do anal training. Mrs. Lion said that she likes using her fingers. She says it feels very intimate. I agree. I don’t get hard when she does that, but I imagine I will if she wants to work on that with me.
She also wants to peg me. I think that’s a great idea too. So far, she has not expressed any interest in doing it with a strap-on. I’m hoping at some point she will. Nevertheless, if she uses her hands to peg me the sensation is the same for me. I’m glad that she enjoys these anal activities. She’s absolutely right about the intimate feelings this play produces. I feel it as well. It’s a connection that may be similar to what a woman feels when a man is inside her.
This may be a little difficult to understand. In my case, once I get past the pain of her fingers or an object entering me, I feel a sense of closeness, of being possessed. She is inside my body and possesses me in a way no one else can. It isn’t the pain of entry and removal so much. It’s the fact that we are connected. It doesn’t matter that this connection is via a very unusual place. It’s just that she is possessing me and I am helping her do it.
I’m not entirely sure how all these emotional/physical/sexual sensations arrange themselves. But I do know that I get turned on thinking of being penetrated. A lot of people blur the amazing depth of these feelings by simply labeling them as “submissive”. Yes, letting someone insert things into my ass is definitely what the Internet folks call submissive. But that’s almost trivializing a much deeper, emotional experience. Skipping the reference to submission, anal activity is deeply sexual.
The big word here is “accept”. As a male I usually expect my mate to accept my penis inside her. It’s very intimate, of course. I am penetrating her body and she is willingly accepting me. This is my genetic programming; my role if you will. Now, the tables have turned. While my sexual equipment doesn’t permit accepting her into me the way I can enter her, my willing acceptance of her hand, toy, etc. into my anus is certainly an analog to her accepting my penis in her vagina. Actually, she has enjoyed accepting my penis in her anus as well. That’s not only analogous to my experience, it’s identical. Clearly there is a sexual and intimate connection with our rear ends.
I think that tangling these experiences with BDSM trivializes the significance of these activities. Women understand the significance of allowing another person into their bodies. That’s why rape is such a serious offense. It’s the ultimate violation of the most intimate activity a woman can enjoy. As a male, allowing my mate inside me is just as intimate and emotionally important.
I’ve always focused on the purely physical/BDSM submissive qualities of anal play. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t. Mrs. Lion brought out a much more significant dimension to these activities. She identified the sense of intimacy she got when penetrating me. Once she mentioned that, I realized that I feel the same thing. Yes it’s painful at times. The pain doesn’t mean that the activity is wrong. It’s just my body adjusting to something unexpected. It’s no different than learning a sport. There will be considerable pain as your body adjusts to the new activities.
Once I get past the pain and adjustments, I feel a deep sense of sexual intimacy. I feel a new, deeper connection to my mate. She feels it too. I knew a woman years ago who always made fisting her partner the first thing she did with any man she wanted to have a physical relationship with. I never understood why she wanted to take that considerable time and effort to get her entire hand up his ass. I know it wasn’t a desire to dominate him. He may have felt that way, but I know she didn’t. She didn’t label why she wanted to do this. She just said that it was very important to her.
I think Mrs. Lion and I are starting to understand why people learn to love anal play. In the beginning it may be an expression of dominance and submission. There’s no question that it’s uncomfortable at first. However, some people make this stuff a regular part of their sexual connection. I finally understand why.
Mrs. Lion was exhausted on Sunday night. Nevertheless, she inserted the Njoy butt plug. I understood that this was as much sexual activity as she could manage. Under different circumstances I might have felt a little cheated. I had to endure the discomfort of anal training without the payoff of getting my penis stimulated.
I didn’t feel that way on Sunday night. I felt warm and loved with that plug nestled inside me. Would I have enjoyed being masturbated? Of course. Did I feel badly that my penis did not even get touched by Mrs. Lion? To my surprise, I didn’t. I was happy that she put something inside me.
Some people will say that’s me acting like a female. We associate uncomplaining acceptance of insertion a female attribute. After all, we males are the penetrators. I think that’s a very narrow perspective. I don’t consider myself submissive. I recognize that welcoming Mrs. Lion inside me is analogous to what a woman does. So what! It’s what I do too. It’s a connection between us. It doesn’t require either of us to be sexually aroused. It could very well result in sexual activity, but it doesn’t have to.
I’m hers. Happily, I have the ability to penetrate and be penetrated. I’m learning to enjoy being the catcher instead of the pitcher. Eventually, it won’t hurt. I’ll learn to accept penetration comfortably. Then we can both enjoy this amazing intimacy without any discomfort on my part. I look forward to that.
My role has changed. Mrs. Lion doesn’t enjoy being penetrated. She does enjoy penetrating me. My penis gets stimulated and I get to ejaculate without penetration. This has been the case for several years. I’ve learned to accept this change and even enjoy it. Now that Mrs. Lion is making a renewed effort at our anal connection, we can restore an important piece of sexual intimacy by reversing our sexual roles. That doesn’t turn her into a male or me into a female. It just rearranges the way we use our equipment. The result is a combination of sexual pleasure for me and a strong sense of intimacy for both of us. I am excited by the prospect of learning to comfortably accept Mrs. Lion penetrating me. I know it will happen and it will add to both of our pleasure.