Year: 2020

I forgot to set up the coffeepot on Thursday. Friday morning, Mrs. Lion came into the bedroom, and somewhat-gleefully told me that I didn’t set up the coffeepot. She likes catching me breaking rules. The conversation didn’t go further. We both know what that means.

It seems a little strange to me that my only spankable offense in over two weeks is forgetting a chore. If it is, I’ve managed not to piss off my lioness except for the whining-to-wear-a-chastity-device incident. Apparently that didn’t rise to the level of butt burning and instead, earned me 24 extra in-cage hours of no sexual activity.

For the record, I’m not happy about earning a spanking. While I am turned on by the thought of being spanked, I know I will hate being punished. I’m a little bothered by the fact that Mrs. Lion still seems to be having trouble “catching” me annoying her. Since I know that she loves spotting me breaking rules, something must be going on.

We agreed that she would punish me for my smallest behavioral errors. We know that this is necessary for her to establish a disciplinary habit. This nit-picking technique taught her to be a totally consistent disciplinarian when it comes to the concrete, external rules like forgetting to set up the coffeepot. She got to this point by a combination of conscious observation and reminders from me when I realized I did something wrong.

Since the new challenge is somewhat subjective, it’s hard for me to help her. On the other hand, I think she notices infractions but writes them off as not worth the energy to spank me. We talked about this too. I suggested that she needn’t spank me then and there. She could put it off the same way she delays rule-breaking punishment to a more convenient time. She agreed.

I don’t think that’s the challenge she faces. It may have to do with believing she deserves the level of respect that spanking me for annoying her implies. I want her to correct me. I think it will help both of us. I will learn to be more aware of how I affect her. She will have a way to wipe the slate clean. By not letting me know when I annoy her, she has to either stuff the negative feelings or let my behavior feed a negative self-image.

When she stuffs those feelings, eventually they leak out in ways that aren’t good for either of us. On the other hand, by punishing me each time I offend, there is no stuffing of feelings and I get an opportunity to improve. We have a long history that shows spanking me changes my behavior. It may seem odd that I am advocating behavior that will result in me getting punished. It’s the way we started domestic discipline. It was my idea.

While punishment has evolved to a point that I genuinely hate it, the results of our disciplinary relationship are undeniable. We are both happier and when we had to suspend it, we both felt the loss. What may have started out of a fantasy of mine, has evolved into a powerful, positive force for both of us.

Punishing me for upsetting Mrs. Lion is a giant step. I don’t want to minimize it. Mrs. Lion had a hard time learning to spank me severely enough to turn the experience into something I absolutely hate. We both recognize that this is necessary for it to help me change. Any less is more a BDSM experience.

We have definitely reached that point. Mrs. Lion has also learned to feel neutral about hurting me. In earlier days it bothered her to be causing me more pain than I “want”. She had given me many BDSM spankings that made me yelp and bruised me. But she was careful to keep the intensity within what I wanted.

The transition to spankings that don’t take into account whether I am enjoying them was very challenging. Now, she decides when to end a beating. She says she bases her decision on the color of my butt. She completely disregards my screams and complaints. Spanking is real punishment.

I’m confident that it won’t be long before I regret writing posts like this. There will be many days when I will wish I left well enough alone. There will be a lot more when I will be grateful we have this very important channel of communication open.

Lion's homemade bread and butter pickles
Our homemade bread and butter pickles. This is the batch we made today.

Maybe we can blame it on his orgasm the other night. We joke about men thinking with their penises and all the blood rushing there. Perhaps Lion’s blood hadn’t quite returned to his brain when he forgot to set up the coffee pot last night. I noticed it when I was making dinner but I restrained myself from giving him any hints. It’s his first punishment in almost two weeks, I think.

Lion, aside from being upset he earned a punishment for forgetting the coffee, is “glad” he’s being punished for something. This, I assume, is a jab at me for not punishing him for annoying me. Oddly enough, my head has been feeling so foggy I really haven’t let him annoy me. It’s just not worth the effort. I can’t imagine how much effort it would be to spank him if I can’t even get annoyed. But today he will get his spanking.

I didn’t lock Lion in his cage until last night. I don’t know if the delay will skew my experiment* or not. I haven’t asked if he’s horny. I figure I’ll know when I ask him later or when I unlock him. Even under ideal circumstances, he probably wouldn’t have been horny last night. He isn’t usually on the day following an orgasm. In the “olden days”, he would have started feeling horny on the second night. Within the last year or so, it’s taken longer than that to get his motor running again. Well, I can get his motor running. It’s the spontaneous combustion that’s been slower. By locking him up, I’m hoping to turn back time a little. Maybe knowing he can’t touch himself will make him want to touch himself and the frustration will begin. That’s the theory.

Since Lion has been on furlough, he’s been watching a lot of cooking shows. In addition to trying new techniques for old things, he’s been trying some new things. Right now he’s working on his second batch of bread and butter pickles. He doesn’t remember ever having that kind of pickles. Many years ago, I remember helping my mother make them. As I recall, they came out mushy. Lion’s are much better. It doesn’t surprise me. My mother worked with recipes handed down from generation to generation and with the ingredients she had available. I assume she used regular slicing cucumbers which aren’t really suited for pickling. Lion has the benefit of using the exact ingredients he needs and possibly some better methods. The house smells like a pickle factory.

Maybe there’s an analogy between Lion fermenting in his cage and the pickles fermenting in their jars. I hope he doesn’t turn out mushy.

* Mrs. Lion’s current experiment is testing whether Lion is easier to arouse when he is kept locked in a male chastity device.

When we began male chastity, I wrote about how a keyholder could handle difficult situations with her caged male. The obvious answer at the time was to stop playing the male chastity game. After all, it is a game initiated by men to make sex more exciting. Right?

That made a lot of sense seven years ago. I don’t think it does now. With or without a chastity device Mrs. Lion controls sex for me. I am forbidden to masturbate, so she is the sole source of sexual pleasure for me. Over the years, we have established a pattern for my sexual activities. Essentially, I am teased to the edge of orgasm almost every day. When Mrs. Lion decides I should ejaculate she makes me come. It’s simple and works for us. Mrs. Lion doesn’t want sex for herself, so her sexual needs aren’t part of the process.

A little while ago I asked what would happen if I decided to jerk off? It was an academic question since with or without a male chastity device I haven’t done that since December 2013. I was curious about how Mrs. Lion would react. Several years ago I posed the same question. She responded by saying that she considered me masturbating in the same category as fucking another woman. She implied that she would end our marriage if I cheated.

At the time she didn’t confirm or deny either assumption. Later, she said that jerking off was not as serious as cheating. It still left how she would react to the open question. When I brought it up again recently, she responded that if I jerk off, she would end male chastity. I asked her to elaborate since orgasm control is our only sexual activity. She responded that she wouldn’t edge me anymore and would just get me off.

Since the only sex we had before male chastity was monthly handjobs, I wondered if that was what she was thinking. She said it wasn’t. She said we would cuddle and she would get me off. Ever since she responded this way, it has been on my mind.

It isn’t that I am worried that I will suddenly decide to jerk off. That really isn’t the issue at all. The real problem I have is that Mrs. Lion doesn’t seem to realize how important our male chastity has become to our relationship. Sure, at one time the threat of ending it would be a frightening consequence for doing something wrong. We both could clearly see what life would be like if I couldn’t wear a chastity device. It would be a very serious punishment for me to lose this great, sexy game.

Now it isn’t a game. Stopping it would disrupt our relationship. Without male chastity and orgasm control, we have no sex life. We started all this because of a sexual chasm that had opened between us. Because Mrs. Lion had lost all interest in sex for herself, there was no biological need for her to think about sex for me. Essentially, she forgot I needed sex.

Male chastity built a bridge across that chasm. It was an intellectual exercise coupled with my need for sex that allowed us to have an active sex life that worked for our marriage. Over the years this has been refined and has become an organic part of our relationship.

Ending it would hurt me. It would probably drive me into masturbating regularly to try to replace what I lost. It would also anger me. I can’t pretend that the same resentment I felt when I was getting monthly handjobs won’t return. It would be less of a punishment than a dangerous upheaval of our marriage.

There’s also one other problem with her threat: it would be permanent. Mrs. Lion would be closing the door on the only sexual balance we had. There would be no coming back.

In addition to male chastity, we also practice domestic discipline. This is a powerful toolkit for Mrs. Lion to use. She can let me know when something I’ve done upsets her. She considered her DD options if I jerk off. She felt that this offense was too serious to simply earn me a spanking. That may be true, but does it warrant a sexual death sentence?

I think that’s at the root of what is bothering me. Her decision to terminate our current sex life seems to say that she doesn’t consider DD a serious disciplinary tool. I think that she believes if I do something truly upsetting, DD won’t work. I think Mrs. Lion believes that I  associate spanking with trivial offenses. Since I’ve never been punished for anything serious, it may be that she associates beating me with the small stuff. She may feel at a loss on how to deal with a big problem like me jerking off.

I don’t think it is a good assumption that spanking is only for minor offenses. I certainly don’t feel that way. A particularly long and strong spanking for jerking off is a serious punishment in my mind and probably an effective deterrent. In addition, locking me in a chastity device without release of a period of time is also real punishment to me.

My point is that we have tools to help prevent making the punishment for me becoming a capital offense. The entire point of DD is to provide clear communication of displeasure in a way that deters repeats of the naughty behavior. Does spanking always work? No, not always, at least at first. Does it work eventually? Yes, I think it does. It isn’t so much the pain of the spanking, as it is being made painfully aware that I hurt my lioness. That’s really the entire point, isn’t it?

On Tuesday night I had to stop giving Lion oral sex because I was hot and tired. I’d just come out of the shower and couldn’t see getting myself all sweaty again. Last night was another matter. I work from home on Thursdays and I don’t always take a shower Wednesday night. It didn’t really matter how sweaty I got.

The Magic Wand was all charged up and ready to go. Unfortunately, it didn’t have much of an effect on Lion. I’m not sure why. It’s worked in the past. We tried for a bit but it didn’t seem to be getting any better. I decided what he needed was oral sex. If you ask him, he’ll say that’s usually the case.

I knew Lion was having fun. He went from being pretty hard to not very hard, but I knew he was still enjoying himself. That’s my criteria until one of us cries uncle. At a certain point, I didn’t want to stop because I was afraid he was almost there. Here it is. Nope. Maybe now. Nope. Almost. Nope. Afterward, Lion said it was apparent I wasn’t going to stop. He’s right. I’d decided that I’d put too much effort in not to come away with an orgasm so, dammit, I was going to keep going. Eventually he had one. It was a nice one. He was happy. I was drenched in sweat. And happy.

Before I even started, I decided if he had an orgasm, I was going to lock him back up. I wanted to test out the theory that he’ll get horny faster if he’s locked up. And then he got under the covers because he was cold and I was trying to get cooled off. And I didn’t lock him up. I thought about it a few times before bedtime but I didn’t do it. As we were hunkering down and the lights were going out, Lion said he was wild. I don’t think it was a reminder. I’m not sure if he was surprised I hadn’t locked him up. He certainly wasn’t asking me to do it. I think it was just a statement. As I think of it now, I could always tell him to meet me in the bedroom so I can lock him up. I think I’ll wait till after his shower. I’m fairly certain he won’t be horny tonight. We can start the clock then.

I’m actually interested to see if the cage has anything to do with his horniness level. I guess it makes sense. He can’t help but notice he’s locked up. He has no access to his favorite toy. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I’d think it would make him want to play with himself more simply because he can’t. We shall see. [Lion — I’m not allowed to do more than get myself hard. (rolling eyes)]