Year: 2020

In response to her Friday post, Not So Sore Butt, a reader commented,

“He seems to be forgetting about the coffee pot on purpose.”

Mrs. Lion responded that it could be possible, but she didn’t think so. I may be kinky, but I’m not suicidal. This was the second time I forgot to set up the coffee pot in about a week. Repeating an offense within a short time results in a more painful spanking. Mrs. Lion hit me harder and for a longer time.

She expects that over time I might “forget” a rule and require a reminder. This is her standard intensity spanking. If I break that rule again within a month or so, it means she didn’t send a strong enough message. She corrects her error by turning up the volume. We haven’t discussed it, but it seems to me that her “mistake” of being too gentle probably applies to all punishments.

One of the more difficult questions a disciplinary wife has to answer is: How intense a spanking has to be in order to be effective? Every husband is different and the same man may have different educational needs at different times. A spanking that effectively changed my behavior last year may not work very well now. The only sensible way to determine effectiveness is by behavior after the punishment.

There is no objective standard. A spanking may make me yelp and break my skin yet not send a strong enough message. The spanking I received for forgetting to set up the coffee pot the first time was extremely painful and made me yelp right from the start. Yet I still managed to forget to do my chore only a few days later.

Mrs. Lion’s standard spanking may have been truly unpleasant for me, but was clearly not enough to improve my memory. If the enhanced spanking I received on Thursday was effective and I reliably remember the coffee pot, then that is a clear signal her new standard should be the enhanced spanking.

I didn’t intentionally forget my chore. I wouldn’t do that. I know that a repeat will be even worse than the original punishment. If Mrs. Lion agrees with my reasoning (which I expect she will), I’ve now made every spanking more painful. Clearly, it is never in my interest to intentionally break a rule, particularly one that I broke in the recent past.

Mrs. Lion learns what constitutes an effective spanking from me. It isn’t how I react at the time, or even how much it hurts the days after. It’s how my behavior improves. She likes me to feel her spanking for days after she administers it. She may intensify to assure I have a reminder when I sit the next day. More importantly, she has to adjust the intensity if I fail to learn from her punishment.

We had discussed this in the past. She agrees that repeat offenses require stronger punishments. I realize that if I repeat an offense it means she didn’t communicate her displeasure as clearly as she needed. That means she needs to adjust her communication style to better reach me. She does that by spanking harder and longer. Sooner or later (Sooner, I hope!) she will get through to me.

I realize that repeat offenses signal that I am not serious enough about obedience. It makes sense to adjust the communication to better get through to me.

We realize that offenses that are repeated a month or more after the last correction are more of a memory problem. It isn’t necessarily a communication failure. In that case the standard communication style will probably remind me for another month or more.

My phone alerted me at around 7:30 this morning that a storm was coming. I guess the dog knew already since she’d had me up at 7 to go out. By 8:15 I heard the rumbling. Lion said I slept through some very loud booms. It’s too bad. I love thunderstorms. We listened to the storm for a bit and then we both fell back to sleep. The next thing I knew, it was after 9 and then we both woke up somewhere around 11.

I’m glad we got extra sleep. Obviously we needed it. Sometimes we just need a lazy Saturday, or Sunday to recharge our batteries. I was so tired I think that affected my ability to mow the lawn yesterday. I only got the front done and somehow I managed to lose the gas cap along the way. It’s probably somewhere obvious, but my exhaustion wouldn’t allow me to see it. We ordered another one and I’m sure the original will show up as soon as the new one gets here. My father’s Yankee ingenuity helped me fashion an impromptu cap out of plastic wrap and a hair tie.

When I mentioned mowing the lawn, Lion said I shouldn’t. I knew rain was coming and I wanted to be one step ahead of it. It needs to be done and I’m the one who needs to do it. His argument against it was that it takes so much out of me. This is code for my lack of energy for sex later on. It always bothers me when he says things like that. I have a chore that I’d really rather not do because it does wipe me out and makes me sore, but I have to do it and he’s worried about sex. He’ll say he doesn’t want me to be sore because he doesn’t want me to be sore, but the underlying reason is there. [Lion — I wasn’t thinking about sex. I didn’t want Mrs. Lion to be uncomfortable.]

By the time I dragged myself out to do the dishes from dinner, put away some packages that were delivered, and took my shower, it was already 8:30. The later it gets, the less likely it is that Lion will be available for play. He snoozed while I let my hair dry a little bit. I brought over the Box O’Fun and Lion made his choice. Ironically, it was spanking. Oops. He’d just had a punishment spanking and he was still feeling a little sore. I suppose I could have allowed him to choose again, but we haven’t really had this situation before so we continued on. I don’t think I anticipated his getting in the punishment position. He’s always just rolled over on the bed for a play spanking. There was nothing wrong with his position. I guess maybe it affected me more than him.

It’s been a long time since I’ve wailed away on him with my bare hands. I have to say, it was uncomfortable. My palms were stinging and I hadn’t even really gotten up to full force yet. I used a few implements on him to save my hands, but I should be able to spank harder and longer with my hands. I think I’ve done myself a disservice by picking spanking for punishment. I’m way out of practice with play spanking. We’ll have to figure out a way to rectify that situation that doesn’t get in the way of punishment spankings.

The thought that occurred to me as I was spanking him, other than my stinging hands, is that he wasn’t really able to enjoy a play spanking so close to a punishment spanking and maybe I need to put a “Do-over” card or two in the Box o’Fun. If he pulls one of those cards, he can redeem it for a different pick. It can be sort of a get out of jail card. If he has a “Do-over” card he can trade Velcro for another chance at something else. Theoretically, he runs the risk of picking the same thing again, or he can get something equally as distasteful to him. (I mistyped “distasteful” as “disteasteful” which sounds like a word Lion would coin) The “Do-over” card would have no expiration date and could be used for any card in the Box o’Fun. Obviously, he can’t get out of a punishment. I think it’s a good idea to give him some say in our play. If he knows he won’t enjoy a play spanking, why do it?

Another way I could give him a do-over is to reward him for the good things he does. I’ve struggled to find rewards for him so maybe that’s the answer. If I give him that as a reward he wouldn’t be at the mercy of the Box o’Fun. I think I just talked myself into it. A reward it is!

spahing spoon on Lion's butt
Mrs. Lion used this paddle to spank me. It is the Chechen spanking spoon. It’s made from very dense Chechen wood. This is one of the meanest paddles she owns.

As Mrs. Lion wrote in her post (“Coffee Camera“) I forgot once again to get the coffeepot ready for breakfast on Thursday morning. She made it clear that I needed a strong reminder. I had forgotten to do the coffee only a week earlier. She resolved that my spanking would be longer and harder. After dinner and before Mrs. Lion took her shower, she got out the spanking spoon. This is a heavy paddle shaped like a large kitchen spoon. I think it’s one of the most painful implements she owns.

She told me to get in position. I lay down across the side of the bed with my feet dangling off the edge. Before she began, she told me that I was being spanked because I couldn’t remember to do my chores. For some reason, this little lecture bothered me. I can’t fully explain why, but it made me feel like a child. It wasn’t a good feeling. Her spanking was very hard and very difficult to take. She paid no attention to my complaints and yelps. When she was done I was burning and sore. I could feel sore spots the rest of the evening. Yesterday, I got an occasional twinge but really no difficulty sitting. I hate to say it, but I think she needs to work even harder to send me a memorable message.

My penis reached full erection when tested!

I reminded her that she agreed to try the responsiveness meter. I reminded her after her shower and after we had settled down to watch TV. She moved over to me and massaged my penis. It responded and I became fully erect within a pretty short time. Since she was feeling sore, she just continued masturbating me instead of getting out the Box O’Fun. I lost interest after a while, but it was fun while it lasted. I always like attention from Mrs. Lion. I think I will continue using the windsock system to show my responsiveness reading from the night before. Obviously, we had a good breeze on Thursday night. I remained horny on Friday.

I looked to see if much hair has grown back. It’s been about a month since my last waxing. As you can see there is some for that needs removing. I asked Mrs. Lion if she would wax me. She agreed after sighing. Most of the hair I can see is under my arms and around my penis and balls. I’m sure I need a full Brazilian at the very least, as well as getting rid of that silly armpit hair. Admittedly, the hair grows in sparse and thin. But it’s there.

I don’t think Mrs. Lion keeps track of her evolution as my disciplining wife. Thursday night’s punishment felt different to me. Partly it was because the spanking itself was more disciplinary and harder to take. I hate to say it, but if she wants to mark me or make me hurt the next day, she may need to improve her technique a little bit. If she wants, I will offer some suggestions. Her lecture, while very short, truly affected me. It set the tone for a real punishment. It’s amazing how just a small change can make such a big difference.

This started me thinking about the deeper meaning of our disciplinary relationship. In the most superficial sense, it’s a simple power exchange in which Mrs. Lion uses corporal punishment to assure my obedience.

There is also sexual aspect. I find spanking exciting and it’s this interest in being spanked that originally brought me to think about domestic discipline. This is pretty typical. Virtually all DD relationships with the man being disciplined are initiated by the men.

Over the five or six years we’ve been doing this, there’s been a steady evolution in how this fits into our lives. What started as almost a spanking game with little real impact, is now full-scale punishment that we both take seriously. Thursday night was the first time in a very long time that I was punished twice within a week or so for the same thing.

I believe Mrs. Lion was genuinely put out by this. The chore I forgot isn’t a big one and didn’t inconvenience her very much to have to do it herself. I think it bothered her that I could forget so quickly. It bothered me.

In a way, it was a good thing that this happened. Our roles tend to blur unless we do things to keep them into sharp focus. It only takes a week or two before I start forgetting my place and Mrs. Lion forgets her role. At that point, the only time I get punished is if I break one of the explicit rules she set out for me. The more important, subtle authority fades away.

I’ve noticed that in almost every disciplinary blog I’ve read, the same sort of blurring takes place. Some couples use maintenance spankings as a way of reminding themselves of their roles. I think that we need to do this too. Both of us are entirely too good at letting inertia take over. We need to work out ways to keep us focused.

My proposal is that in any week (Monday through Sunday) in which I’m not punished, I receive a maintenance spanking. Since Monday is a punishment day for us, the maintenance spanking would be administered on the Monday following a week without punishments. It’s that simple.

The maintenance spanking would be identical to a punishment spanking. Since its purpose is to keep us focused, I think it’s important that it be every bit as strict and painful as a full-scale punishment.

I think that agreeing to the maintenance spanking might make it easier for Mrs. Lion to be more observant about the behaviors she wants me to correct. I’m not trying to think for her, but in my mind, if I knew I had to deliver a punishment spanking at least once a week, I think I might look for a reason to deliver it instead of just administering it for maintenance.

In case you wonder, I’m not going to be very happy about this. Mrs. Lion’s spankings are extremely unpleasant. She is making a conscious effort to make the pain longer-lasting and to make me unhappy I’m being spanked. Just as she does with clothespins on my balls, I think that when she spanks she looks for the spots that are most uncomfortable for me. She’s very good at finding them.

I don’t think we’ll have to do maintenance spankings on a weekly basis forever. Once we get more firmly established in our roles, Mrs. Lion can administer maintenance less frequently. For the time being, much as I hate to say it, we need more frequent sessions with her paddle.

Lion informed me that he’d used lotion to soften his buns with the hope that they’d bleed less during his impending punishment. With his being sick for the past few weeks, I forgot all about his lotion regimen. I don’t know if he continued it the whole time or just started again yesterday. Whichever the case, it may or may not have helped.

I decided to spank Lion before I took my shower so he’d have time to recover before we did anything sexual. I guess if I really wanted to separate the punishment from sex, I would have spanked him earlier in the day. However, I’m supposed to be working and I have enough downtime as it is. I didn’t figure I should take more time away to spank him.

Lion’s spanking spoon in action.

I was going to use the bloodwood paddle, but decided against it because the edges are more square than the spoon-shaped paddle I’ve been using. The spoon also has more heft to it. I have a theory that he doesn’t bleed as much with a round-edged paddle. I have no idea if it’s true. I guess I’ll need more experimentation.

This is the second time in a very short span of time that Lion has forgotten to set up the coffee pot. It really doesn’t take very long to do so I don’t mind doing it, but it is a rule. Lion has to learn to follow the rules. In keeping with his idea that punishment for the same offense in a short period of time must be stronger, I whomped harder and longer. I never keep track of how long I spank him. I just go until I think he’s learned his lesson.

To emphasize what rule he’d broken I reminded him just before I started. I’m not sure why he needs this. Can’t he remember which rule he broke? He doesn’t break that many. The one time he was being punished for more than one, I stopped and announced that the beating would begin for infraction number two. Generally, he doesn’t have more than one rule broken at a time. And given the fact that I was punishing him within hours of breaking it, shouldn’t he know? But he’s told me in the past that it’s more poignant if I tell him. Maybe it’s like being in front of a judge when they read the charges. It’s so much worse to hear them out loud.

This is the bloodwood paddle. Lion usually bleeds more when I use it.

So I set about swatting him and he was squirming and yelping right from the beginning. I don’t think he exaggerates so I believe it really did hurt. I just can’t figure out why. I thought I started off not hitting so hard. Judging from his response and the fact that his buns were red almost immediately, I guess I was hitting hard. I wonder if the paddle is harsher than I thought. Next time I’ll try the bloodwood paddle to see if there’s much difference.

From the looks of his butt, I’d think he had some bruising. Toward the end, he started bleeding from one little spot. Sometimes I stop at that point, but since it was his second offense, I kept going. You’d think he’d be sore today. I don’t think he is. [Lion — I’m not.] I’ll need to improve my technique. I don’t care so much about bruising him. I just want him to feel it the next day. Maybe that means I do have to bruise him, but I don’t think so. I’ve spanked him hard enough for him to feel it the next day without leaving a bruise. Oh well. If I didn’t get my message across, I’m sure he’ll be forgetting the coffee pot again relatively soon.