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In: Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment, Rules

Yesterday I was trying to come up with new rules for Lion. I couldn’t think of anything. Then last night I realized I don’t need new rules. I can reinstate a rule from a long time ago.
Lion has a habit of being impatient with people in the foodservice industry. He can be rude when they don’t get his order the first time. We’ve both read books about what waiters do to the food of nasty people. I’m not sure why he would put his dinner in jeopardy of being spit in. I certainly don’t want anything to happen to my food because I’m with him.


The rule seemed effective while it was in effect. He was well-behaved when ordering food. I guess I must have decided he’d changed and no longer needed the rule enforced. I was wrong. He still needs it. I’m confident the threat of a punishment spanking will make him treat foodservice workers with respect. If it doesn’t, it won’t be a threat anymore.


I know Lion doesn’t intend to be rude. I mean, yes, the words do come out of his mouth. I think he’s really just impatient when he needs to repeat himself. What he doesn’t understand is that sometimes the poor Burger King worker is looking for the button that says no lettuce and that repeating the order as he hits the buttons helps confirm what Lion wants. Other times, there’s a language barrier. Of course, it always helps when you get upset at a person who didn’t necessarily understand you the first time. Not.


So this rule is back in effect, not only for waiters and order takers but for any customer service person. I know there are times that require some escalation. If you can’t get your point across after a few tries, raising your voice is natural. But having to repeat things once because a server just wants to make sure they have it right, is no reason to raise your voice.


Lion forgets that I’ve worked in Burger King. I know things. He forgets I’ve worked for a certain discount store and have dealt with rude people for many years. Every time he’s rude I cringe. I was on the receiving end of it more times than I care to remember. Now he’ll be on the receiving end of a spanking. It seems fair to me.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Domestic discipline

Things have been exceptionally quiet here lately. I’ve managed to follow all my rules and I have avoided annoying Mrs. Lion by interrupting her or otherwise showing disrespect for what she says. To compound things, we’ve both been under the weather and neither of us is had any interest in pursuing anything sexual. Have we reached a sort of, “if no one is in the woods, does a tree make a sound when it falls?” situation? If, for example, I’m not interested in sex, are we really practicing orgasm denial?

In the context of male chastity, this is a pretty silly question. Male sexual desire, like gravity, will eventually win out. In another, completely different context, this question has drawn an enormous amount of debate over the last couple of decades. Consider domestic discipline:

Outside of certain radical religious sects, domestic discipline is implemented when the partner who wants to be “taken in hand” asks his or her spouse to take charge. I’ve recently done some research into what other people think about domestic discipline. From three decades ago, there wasn’t a lot of writing on the subject. What writing there was came from women who wanted to be taken in hand. Some of the writing that has survived through the years, admits to a rather surprising origin.

In situations where DD was a voluntary arrangement, the principal reason given for asking to be taken in hand was the desire to be spanked. These women, made it very clear that they had strong spanking fantasies that provided the principal incentive to ask their husbands to take charge. Immediately following this admission, to a person, they also said that they felt the need for guidance and control.

Here’s the part that may be surprising: They also made a point that they didn’t expect their husbands to be their masters or dominants. They expected their relationships to remain one of equals. The only exception is that the head of the household, their husbands, would have the last word when the last word was needed and with their agreement make rules that would then be enforced.

More recent writers on the subject admit that they are a little bit embarrassed by the BDSM flavor of these early writers. Apparently, they would like to stay as far away from spanking “hobbyists” as they possibly can.

Without revealing my source, more recent writings, this time by males who want to be taken in hand, show the same emotional allergy to BDSM as their female equivalents. However, one way or another, they all express the fact that they wanted to be spanked by their wives. The initial motivation for these disciplinary relationships is invariably connected to the very sexual desire to be spanked. I’ve yet to find any writer on the subject who claimed they wanted to be spanked because they liked pain.

I am in full agreement with this. My initial approach to Mrs. Lion had a lot of basis in my desire to be spanked. My second motive was that I wanted to feel her control and authority. I wanted her to be able to enforce her will. This turns out to be very similar to what those earlier writers wanted. The gender of the person wanting to be taken in hand has nothing to do with any of it.

I thought that Mrs. Lion and I were unique because we maintain a true partnership. Even though she is the Head of Household, we are partners. Both of us collaborate on the boundaries of her authority and the rules she enforces. This is exactly the same as it is in countless other domestic discipline households.

Just as enforced male chastity is completely unrelated to controlling pathological masturbators, domestic discipline has nothing to do with spousal abuse or domestic tyranny. Both are rather benign practices shared between consenting adults.

Once you recognize this, a lot of the other stuff you read starts to get much more comprehensible. For example, some contemporary domestic discipline folks look back at the material on the Disciplinary Wives Club, a popular website of the 90’s and early 2000’s, as almost religious material. Many fervently believe that the group spankings, disciplinary club meetings, and other very arousing activities were not only real but something to be aspired to. The DWC, as it is referred to by these people, is frequently cited as the inspirational source for many spanked males asking their wives to punish them.

I read that website many years ago, and reread it recently. I have to admit it’s really hot stuff. I don’t believe any of it is real. This is heresy among the spanked husbands who follow it religiously. I don’t think it matters whether it is real or not. The DWC strikes a resonant chord with a lot of men who want to be spanked. The site disappeared for a number of years. It later resurfaced but was discredited because it was not faithful to the original. You can now read the original DWC here. I find some of the material just as hot as I did all those years ago.

Those of us who are lucky enough to be in disciplinary relationships, sometimes want to make what we do more important than it is. Somehow, associating it with BDSM, or with fantasies about spanking, diminishes the importance of what we do.

I completely disagree. If a young person wants to be a doctor because she believes it will make her rich and then does the work to finish medical school, then practices medicine and saves many lives, is she somehow diminished by the fact that the motive she had all those years ago was getting rich? Similarly, if I went to Mrs. Lion and asked her to take me in hand because I get turned on thinking about being spanked, and as a result we forge a deeper much richer relationship, do I have to denounce the sexual/BDSM roots of that original request? Too many guys think they do.

As Mrs. Lion and I have both learned, it doesn’t matter whether or not I get an erection when I think about being spanked. When I get punished that spanking hurts. It doesn’t hurt any less because I got hard thinking about getting it. More importantly, consistently spanking me when I break a rule conditions me to change my behavior. Does it matter at all if my penis gets hard when I think about that too?

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Anal play, BDSM, Spanking

Mrs. Lion talked about it lately, I’m in a sexual slump. It may be that I have a stomach virus, which is now on the way out. Mrs. Lion appears to have the same thing. In any case, I’m not interested in sex, and I haven’t had an erection in days. Every time something like this happens, I wonder if it’s the end of the line for me. We’d be quite a couple — both of us with no libidos.

Mrs. Lion isn’t willing to quit yet. For that matter, neither am I. It’s a little awkward being a sex blogger and not feeling horny. I’ve also been pretty tired. Neither of us has been sleeping very well. It seems that every time I wake up in the middle of the night and reach across the bed, I find Mrs. Lion’s hand, and she holds mine. I’m not sure that means she’s awake, but it feels delicious to have company in the middle of the night.

One of the problems associated with writing a daily post is that it’s impossible to skip over dry periods. It’s easier for me because I frequently write about topics other than what’s going on in my life right now. Mrs. Lion is our self-appointed historian, and when nothing much is happening, she finds herself with little to write about. Sometimes, she is saved by a provocative comment that she can post about.

We both love comments on our posts. We love some more than others. I like the fact that this is an interactive medium. If we didn’t want comments, it’s a simple option not to allow them. I feel that some of our regular commenters are friends. Their feedback and advice are often constructive. Other regular commenters remind me how difficult it is to successfully communicate about an odd set of kinks like ours.

I’m not always sure why I like something or want it. A good example is anal training. The idea turns me on, yet when Mrs. Lion is training me, it doesn’t feel good. The same is true of play spanking. I get turned on by the idea, but while things are happening to me, I don’t find it hot it all. Go figure!

There are a lot of contradictions in the way I think about sexual things. Even my interest in domestic discipline has some roots in the sexual thrill of thinking about spanking. I think this is true of most guys who receive disciplinary spankings from their partners. It’s not that it’s arousing to be spanked for doing something wrong, it isn’t. The sexual component for me is more complicated: it’s exciting to think about the fact that I put myself in a position to be spanked.

Maybe it’s not a good idea to think too deeply about things that turn you on. I remember reading a post written by a woman attempting to explain why men allow themselves to be punished, particularly by spanking, even though they hate it.

Her contention is that male sexuality being what it is, allows a man to feel aroused thinking about being spanked simply because it’s arousing to be humiliated that way and expose his naked bottom to his partner. She was quick to point out that this is not rational. I agree it isn’t. But it is a turn on for me. The weird thing, she claimed, was that even after many experiences with unpleasant, disciplinary spankings, the same sexual feelings brought him back for more punishment when needed.

erect spanking
I obviously don’t exactly hate being spanked. I often have a nice erection when the spanking is started. It’s true that it doesn’t last very long.

When I read that, I admit that it struck a chord with me. It’s true that what I think about being spanked, I feel a little rush and I get a nice tingle between my legs. When a spanking is imminent, and Mrs. Lion instructs me to get in position, there is no tingle at all. I still do it anyway. As I recall, when we first began disciplinary spankings, I would get an erection when Mrs. Lion told me I was about to be spanked. The erection wouldn’t last very long after she started, but I was hard until a minute or two after she began.

My point is that I am obviously attracted to certain activities which end up being very uncomfortable. More puzzling is the fact that I continue to be attracted to those same activities long after I’ve experienced over and over their unpleasant consequences. I’m not alone in this. Even some of our harshest critics admit to paying people to spank them.

There are deep sexual connections to actions that have strong power symbolism. I have to admit that allowing myself to be spanked and anally penetrated are very clearly sexually submissive activities. It’s less clear why I would want something that I love to hate to turn into something that is intended to make me unhappy. I’m thinking about the fact that I want Mrs. Lion to punish me for doing things that upset her. I completely agree with her choice of spanking as the best way to do this.

She’s commented that she feels bad that by punishing me with the paddle, she’s taking away something I found exciting in the past. That’s why she frequently refers to “play” spankings is something she would like to do again.

large dildo going up lion's ass
I can’t stay hard when my ass is being penetrated. In this picture, a 1-3/4 inch diameter dildo is slowly pegging me.

I’m not sure whether that will work. I don’t think that I’ve fixated on the idea that spanking is for punishment alone. I just think I expect punishments to go a certain way. I also worry that if I get something that is usually a punishment as a form of play, it can be emotionally confusing to me. I do know that I haven’t craved any BDSM spanking for quite a while. Even thinking about it doesn’t turn me on.

All this could change in the blink of an eye. Under the right circumstances, I could get very aroused thinking about a paddle hitting my bottom. I don’t know what those circumstances might be. That’s not entirely true. If Mrs. Lion wants to play a spanking game, I will probably find that quite hot. When we played our NFL football game, I would end up getting over 100 hard swats in the course of a game. I found it very hot. Go figure!

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In: Mrs Lion Comments

People at work have been dropping like flies with the flu. Lion and I don’t feel well but we don’t feel horrible either. I’m wondering if I brought home the flu but our flu shots are keeping the worst of it at bay. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? I hope whatever we have goes away soon.

purple butt toy
This is the purple butt toy Lion ordered. Looks uncomfortable.

In the meantime, I walked into the bathroom last night and found two “interesting” looking dildos on the counter. Bright purple, weirdly shaped dildos. One looks like a Christmas tree or like little balls arranged in the shape of a tree. The other, to me, looks like a dragon cock. Nope. I’ve never seen a dragon cock, but it looks like something a dragon would have. It’s sort of scaly-looking.

purple dragon's penis dildo
This is what I imagine a dragon’s penis looks like. Lion apparently wants me to peg him with it.

Obviously, we won’t be trying this tonight. We’ve decided to take a few days off till we can muster the energy to do anything other than the bare necessities. I’m not even sure how these two dildos fit in with the overall scheme of anal play we’ve been doing lately. I suppose the tree can be used as an expander. I doubt Lion will be able to take much of it yet, especially since we’ll essentially be starting over again. The dragon is more of a normal dildo shape. It’s curved though.

I’m not saying we can’t have fun with them. Even if we are training for the fisting Olympics, we can always have fun with other anal equipment. I’m not sure Lion ever thinks of dildos or butt plugs as fun. It’s something he wants to do. It just doesn’t rise to the level of fun in Lion’s mind. Of course, it is training. Who likes training? It’s a lot of work.

Lion still thinks he’s broken. I think he’s got the semi-flu and has probably had it for some time. Not feeling well can throw anyone off. He’ll be good as new in a few days. Patience, my pet. We’ll snuggle together and get better.