How We Got Here

Tuesday night was a surprise orgasm night. Mrs. Lion unlocked me and then after a while came over to snuggle. She spent a lot of time just holding me and playing with my nipples and chest. It felt really good and I wasn’t feeling particularly horny. Eventually, her hand drifted south and she began playing with my penis. Predictably, it rose to the occasion. I had a little sore spot. I think the Evotion chastity device may have rubbed a bit of skin. Mrs. Lion said that this sore spot was in about the same place as the one I had a week before. I’ll have to check the device to see if there isn’t a little bit of roughness in that area.

It took a little while to get my motor running. Once I was excited the tension built up quickly. I was near the edge when Mrs. Lion stopped. She waited and started again. She’s an expert at keeping me right at the brink of an orgasm. Finally, after pushing me to the edge a few times, she kept going and I had a wonderful orgasm. It had been a week since my last one. This is about the average wait time for me over the last year or so. When all the activity was done, Mrs. Lion told me she would leave me wild to allow the sore spot to heal. Also, there is little risk my hands will stray down into that forbidden territory so soon after I have ejaculated.

This month marks our sixth anniversary of starting this blog. I started it just a couple of months after Mrs. Lion took the keys to my male chastity device. It’s been a remarkable adventure. In this time we’ve written nearly 4100 posts. That makes us one of the largest sex blogs on the Internet. It’s also been a true journal recording our growth, challenges, joys, and sadness over these last years. Many readers have become remote members of our family. Both Mrs. Lion and I have posted nearly daily throughout this time.

When we travel on vacation, we sometimes find ourselves writing posts in our car parked outside of a fast-food joint. Other times, we do our writing in a restaurant. Most of the places we visit with our camper don’t have cell service or any Internet coverage. We find a way somehow. Frequently, that means we have to drive 15 or 20 miles for the nearest cell reception. We remain very committed to sharing our lives with you.

We’ve evolved quite a bit over these years. Things that seemed radical and almost impossible are now routine parts of our lives. For example, I am always naked when at home. The only exception is if it is too cold and I get to wear a T-shirt, or we have visitors. This is absolutely routine. I feel uncomfortable if I have to wear clothes at home. Mrs. Lion generally chooses to stay naked too. Since December 2013 I haven’t masturbated. This is probably the most radical change in my sex life. Prior to that, I had been masturbating since I was 11 years old. I never considered it wrong or dirty. It was something I did to relieve tension or to feel good.

On the night I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me in a male chastity device, the subject of masturbation came up. I think the discussion began in the context of edging. I told her that I had been masturbating about once a week since we had been together. She didn’t like that at all. She said that she had no idea I did it. She then announced that her first rule was that I must never masturbate again. I thought that was rather draconian and I wondered if I would be able to obey it. Of course, being locked in a chastity device took the decision to masturbate out of my hands.

As far as I know, very few men don’t masturbate. It’s easy and feels good. For the record, I haven’t masturbated once since Mrs. Lion made that rule. That brings me to a question: Wasn’t that rule the real beginning of our female led relationship? The fact that I asked her to lock me in a chastity device certainly gave her power over sex. So long as I was locked in I couldn’t masturbate on my own. But if I were ever wild, I could sneak in an ejaculation or two.

Along with her admonition about no more masturbation, Mrs. Lion made it very clear that she would consider a violation of this rule a very serious offense; almost like cheating with another woman. No penalties were discussed. She just let me know how serious she was about it.

I accepted her rule. It never occurred to me to question her authority to make it. I didn’t associate that rule with the fact that she became my keyholder. I didn’t think of it as part of anything. I just knew that it was something she told me not to do and therefore I wouldn’t do it. It was no different than the fact that I can’t wear clothes at home. Mrs. Lion says I can’t, so I can’t.

I don’t think either of us thought very much about what had happened. Mrs. Lion knew that I like the idea that she made a rule for me — the one about me being naked at home — and didn’t have a lot of feelings either way about enforcing it. Essentially she didn’t care. For the record, she cares now. The masturbation rule was different. She felt that I sexually pleasing myself without her was a betrayal. She let me know that. Neither of us considered discussing penalties for breaking it. I had the clear sense that if I jerked off, it would threaten our marriage. That’s how serious she was.

Looking back through the years, it’s easy to see that locking me in a male chastity device and forbidding me masturbation under any circumstances represented important first steps in a true female led relationship. There was no contract or even verbal agreement about who’s in charge. It was my act of surrendering sexual control by asking her to lock me in a chastity device and her assumption of authority by insisting I never masturbate again that established the FLR.

Both came out of needs unrelated to the desire of being in a disciplinary relationship. I found the idea of surrendering sexual control to Mrs. Lion and letting her lock me up as very hot. She figured I’d get tired of the chastity device and we’d stop fairly soon after we started. She, however, was very serious about forbidding my masturbation. I don’t think she saw this as an extension of male chastity. She was truly offended that I took sex into my own hands. She felt she had a right to insist I never do it again.

Looking through time, it’s easy to see that those two actions started something much larger. I offered to surrender something important to Mrs. Lion. It’s true, that I thought it was very sexily exciting to do so. That certainly helped me feel okay about asking her. She felt good about demanding I never jerk off again. It didn’t come out of a sense of authority over me. It came out of a kind of moral indignation. Regardless, she fully expected me to obey. I recognize that and accepted her rule.

That’s the beginning of what we have now. Sure, we had done BDSM play where she topped me. That was always limited to the scene we played. It never extended into day-to-day life. I did enjoy it when she took charge. That’s why she asked me to stay naked at home. She knew I liked feeling that bit of her authority.

What happened next is chronicled over the last six years in this blog. We struggled with how to build the sort of relationship that works for both of us. We made lots of mistakes. We learned a great deal. What we have now is something that evolved over all that time. I don’t think either of us would have believed where we would be on that night I asked her to lock me into a chastity device six years later. I don’t think Mrs. Lion could ever imagine how her authority grew over all that time. We didn’t need a contract. Perhaps the millions of words we’ve published here represent an evolving agreement for our very unique relationship.