Review: Top Male Sex Machines And Mrs. Lion’s Left Hand

Let’s face it, everything we are writing about relates back in one way or another to male masturbation. I’m defining the term “masturbation” narrowly. It applies to any activity that will bring a male to ejaculation without inserting it in an orifice. That means oral sex, anal sex, and of course vaginal sex are not forms of masturbation. The vast majority of my sexual experience is masturbation.

I guess I have to open the topic up a bit. Most of my sexual experience doesn’t result in ejaculation. I’m brought close to it, but not permitted to actually ejaculate. I don’t think that matters very much in terms of this post. I’m also assuming that masturbation includes any penis stimulation that isn’t actually inside of an orifice. That means that when Mrs. Lion plays with me, she’s masturbating me. Fair enough?

Enforced male chastity by definition is preventing masturbation. Chastity devices were invented in the late 19th century for that express purpose. In those days it was believed that masturbation led to insanity and idiocy. Our sex life, Mrs. Lion and I, is 100% about male masturbation and oral sex. My penis is the focus of all of our sexual activity. Mrs. Lion considers it her penis since she controls it. I just carry it around.

When I am allowed to ejaculate, about one-third of the time it happens in Mrs. Lion’s mouth. She really likes that. However, it takes a lot of energy and uncomfortable positioning to suck me so she usually defaults to using her hand.

Contrary to almost all other male sexual activity, mine would be best for her if I could get to orgasm as rapidly as possible. Any energy she expends getting me to the edge isn’t particularly pleasurable for her. I’ve researched training a male to ejaculate on command. It’s largely a myth. It takes as long as it takes for me to get to the top of my orgasmic curve.

Mrs. Lion uses some tricks to help get me more aroused. After all, no matter how talented she is with her hands, it’s still jerking me off. I can get bored with that. She’s discovered that various BDSM activities from spanking to cock and ball torture gets me more excited. The more excited I am, the more likely she can get me to the edge of orgasm.

Obviously, the long lead up to the point when I’m close to ejaculation is more work than fun for Mrs. Lion. She starts enjoying herself when I am close to the edge. Ideally, it would be very helpful if she had a way to save some work getting me to that point. Toward that end, I’ve acquired some male masturbators. These are devices designed to get a man off.

There are surprisingly few on the market if you don’t include the cheap vibrators. So far, the only reliable one Mrs. Lion can use on me is our Magic Wand vibrator. This is a powerful hand-held vibrator that’s been on the market for years. We have a rechargeable version that she moves on the bottom of my penis from head to about halfway down. It’s a very reliable way to get me off.

Venus 2000 in action.

There are masturbators that are worn over the penis designed to feel like oral or vaginal sex. The best that I’ve tried is the Venus 2000 by ABCO. This machine uses a vacuum pump and complex valves to create pulsating suction. It has a “receiver” that is a tube with a silicone liner that pulsates from the vacuum. I had one many years ago. It took me quite a while to figure out which settings worked best. Once I did it was really great. The big drawback is that the receiver is heavy and you have to hold it in place. The biggest problem is the price. It costs about $1000. You can control the length of each stroke. You can also make it go faster or slower. So far, it’s the only one that actually worked for me.

There are newer, less expensive devices. One is the Lelo F1. This device is a cylinder with a silicone sleeve inside and a powerful vibrator. The vibrator can be controlled to provide more or less power. What makes this device potentially interesting is that it contains a nice selection of sensors that report the state of both the machine and the penis inside it. There is a demo phone app that allows you to control the vibrator and observe the readings of the sensors. The manufacturer has just released a software development kit that will allow programmers to build applications that can use the feedback from the sensors to change the way the device behaves. Theoretically, this biofeedback should allow optimization of sensations.

The Lelo F1. Penis sleeve and powerful vibrator with sensors.

I tried it as it is now. The vibrations are powerful. The manufacturer claims they are so powerful that you will feel them throughout your penis and they will stimulate you to a wonderful orgasm. I didn’t get that result. If I inserted my soft penis, the device couldn’t get me hard. If I inserted my erect penis, it felt good but the sensations didn’t build to the point that I was even close to an orgasm. Perhaps if someone writes an app with the biofeedback from the sensors, the device would be smart enough to find the best sensations for me.

We only tried it once. That’s not really fair. I think Mrs. Lion will try again. I don’t have a lot of confidence that it will really do the trick. The reason for this is that the concept of vibrating my entire penis enough to get all of the right nerve endings seems unlikely. I’ll watch out to see if an app is developed and will see.

This is how the Autoblow ai works. The position, stroke length, and speed are computer-controlled.

The only other “real” masturbator is the Autoblow this is a tube with a silicone sleeve inside. The sleeve is connected to a motor drive that moves up and down the same way a partner’s mouth might move. The latest version the “ai” claims to have artificial intelligence incorporated in its design. The manufacturer hired a machine learning design company to analyze thousands of porn blow job videos to simulate how the end-to-end experience worked. Then, the manufacturer used a microprocessor and various sensors to simulate that motion with the Autoblow.

I purchased one (the price varies anywhere from $150-$250 depending on current sales). It has 10 different masturbation patterns. Mrs. Lion and I tried it and I sampled each of the patterns. Some felt better than others. During that first session, it couldn’t get me close. Unlike the other masturbators I’ve tried, this one may have the potential to do the job helping Mrs. Lion get me to the edge. We will try it again and see if we can’t figure it out. The big drawback with this device as well as the others is that they require lube. That means that when Mrs. Lion decides to take over, she will either have to deal with a lubed penis or get me cleaned off before she can do her thing. Cleaning me off takes time and is distracting. It could very well destroy the progress the automation gave her.

The Hot Octopus Jett has two powerful vibrators: a low-frequency and a high-frequency unit.

There are other vibrators that attach to the penis. Most of them sit under the head at the sensitive spot. I tried a few. It’s possible that one or two could have got me off. I didn’t feel that really nice buildup Mrs. Lion’s hand or mouth provides. Maybe I’m spoiled. More likely, we haven’t discovered the right combination of devices and settings that will do the job.

People who make sex toys are not generally very sophisticated. They also don’t have big research budgets. The problem is that while jerking off looks the same from the outside, getting it just right is a very individual problem to solve. I think that the hybrid of the F1 and the Autoblow offer the possibility of a really effective sex machine for men.

Pressure sensors to record how hard the penis is along with temperature sensors, etc. could provide the sort of biofeedback that would allow the Autoblow motion to be optimized from the beginning of a session to the climax. The biggest problem with products like the Venus 2000 is that their motion is constant. Mrs. Lion knows that she has to vary the speed and pressure to provide me with the most arousal. A device like the Autoblow that could sense my reaction to it and adjust, could offer a reasonable way to come close to real sex.

Even though it’s tiring and somewhat boring for her, Mrs. Lion’s hand and mouth represent the only reliable way to get me to the edge. Thank you, sweetie!

2 Comments

  1. I haven’t tried any toys designed for males. I don’t really need them. I’m always on the watch for toys for my Queen though. Still budget considerations limit what I purchase.

    1. Author

      So far the male toys aren’t all that good for me.

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