Out Of Work And Our FLR

Soon, I will be out of work. Between unemployment insurance and the $600 a week from the federal recovery program, we should be okay. The US president’s comments aside, more reliable estimates are that we’ll be here at home at least 60 more days, more likely 90. Like many companies, mine will be paying any insurance I have through them (unfortunately, health insurance is paid for by me outside the company). There’s a good chance I’ll have a job when they get back to normal. Mrs. Lion works for a small medical practice. It’s a little less certain that they’ll be able to weather another three months of being closed.

Obviously, I wasn’t in the mood for sex last night. I’m less worried about the financial impact on me than I am concerned about if, in fact, my job will actually waiting for me. Right now the company is considering which projects it can afford to lose. Once things get back to normal, it’s going to be a long time before activity grows enough to support the kind of operations we had before COVID-19.

We’ve gotten more than the usual number of comments about how in the face of a pandemic how we can write about, much less practice our female led relationship. I think there is a remarkable lack of understanding of how dominant/submissive relationships work. I’ve been on both sides of the paddle. For 20 years I was a top as well as the dominant member of a master/slave relationship. Many people, particularly wannabe submissives think that being in a D/S relationship means the dominant partner micromanages every single bit of the submissive’s life.

In fact, some years ago I had a conversation with a wannabe submissive. She was telling me all the things that she wanted her dominant to do. She wanted to be spanked, tied up, told to do things (she wants to be told to do), etc. When I asked her what the dominant got out of it, she stopped abruptly and looked surprised. She said, “Dominating me.” I pointed out that I didn’t think there was anything particularly exciting about such a privilege. She looked haughty and said I just don’t understand. At that point in time, I had my 24/7 slave for almost 6 years. I think I knew what it was about.

The woman I lived with would have loved it if I micromanaged her. I made it clear from the very start that it was not on the menu. My approach was that she could run her own life except when I decided I wanted her to do something my way. She’s a very bright person and had a very good job. She could easily handle the domestic chores she had to do without my help. In other words, I had the last word. That’s what it means to be the dominant member of the partnership.

Mrs. Lion almost never tells me what to do. I think about what she might want and I try to provide for her. We have a very loving partnership. Yes, there are some interesting differences between our marriage and most others. As you probably know, she punishes me if I need it. We divide up chores and responsibilities based on our abilities. I used to cook a lot. I like to cook. With my failing vision and bad shoulders, it’s tough for me. She’s had to take that over. I pay the bills and manage all the technical needs in our house. She’s had to pick up most of the physical tasks.

I’m allowed to be grumpy sometimes. I don’t have any special way I have to speak to her. We do some BDSM play and of course, she is the top. Over the years in this role, she has learned to be more aware of her own feelings and lets me know if I do or say things that upset her. The way she lets me know is a little different than in most marriages: she spanks me.

FLR’s are seriously misunderstood. That’s too bad. Couples that have done this for a long time seem to be much happier than their vanilla counterparts. The reason I think is that things aren’t allowed to fester. Mrs. Lion is strongly encouraged to express her feelings. I’ve always been okay about expressing mine. We communicate. She’s always been better at taking things to heart and trying to change. I’m more stubborn. My stubbornness can be overcome with five-minute meetings with her paddle. I’m not claiming it’s easy. I do know that for us, at least, it works.

3 Comments

  1. You must be deleting these comments. Or maybe I just have to visit your actual page to see them. I certainly haven’t received any comments of that ilk. We are in a lockdown mode! But our lives are going to continue as close to normal as we can make them. It shouldn’t be that difficult to understand. While my normal and your normal may not be the way of many people, one would hope that the act of consistently reading our blogs shows at least some tolerance and understanding.

    1. Author

      I frequently delete that sort of stuff. It doesn’t make sense to me to clutter our comment section with obviously unnecessary criticism. For the record, I do always keep criticism that is on-topic. I’ve noticed that from time to time some user decides to use our comment section as a personal blog. I also delete those.

      In any case, I agree with you. The way we live may not look normal to some people, but it is normal for us. Readers of the blog know that we have evolved over the last 6+ years. I’m sure this evolution will continue. Nothing other than the financial difficulties we now face changes the way we live. Neither of us wants to make any changes. Of course, we are being very careful about exposure to the virus. I am one of the people in a very vulnerable position and I would not likely survive if I caught it. Thanks for your thoughtful comment. I love it when you give us your feedback.

      1. Stay well. With all your issues the last little while, your immune system is likely suppressed. So you would be at greater risk. Staying away from others as much as possible is so important.

What do you think?