In my post yesterday (“Deconstructing Male Chastity“) I mentioned that one of the benefits of male chastity and wearing a chastity device is preventing unauthorized masturbation. Obviously, if my penis is locked in a chastity device, masturbation is extremely difficult. In my opinion, it isn’t worth it. I also mentioned that some guys are allowed supervised masturbation. Their keyholders unlock them and tell them to jerk off while they “supervise”. Mrs. Lion commented on this in her post yesterday (“Things May Be Getting Back To Normal“). She wrote that the only reason she could see to let me do it myself would be if she was tired of doing it for me.
I think it would be a mistake to allow me to get myself off. Yes, it’s a sort of sexy idea to be told to jerk off in front of someone. The problem is that if I can jerk off under supervision, I can also jerk off without it as well. I realize that I would be breaking a serious rule if I did. Chances are I wouldn’t. However, our current arrangement sends me a very strong message. When my penis is locked in a device, Mrs. Lion locks me in and unlocks me when she wishes my penis to be free. Similarly, if she wants me sexually aroused she will do it with her hands or mouth. I am not allowed to participate.
It may seem subtle, but there is a profound message in all of this. The fact that she and she alone sexually stimulates me makes it very clear that the penis that is attached to me belongs to her. More importantly, I understand that she likes it and wants to play with it. She doesn’t see getting me off as a chore. I think that being told to masturbate under her supervision sends the message that she isn’t interested in making that effort.
When she put this rule in place — no masturbation and my penis is her exclusive property — I don’t think she was fully aware of how significant it was to me. Ever since puberty my penis has been a favorite toy. I loved it if I could get someone else to play with it, but was content to play with it alone if no playmate was available.
Mrs. Lion took the toy away from me. She didn’t say that I could play with it if she wasn’t using it or that I could play with it if she told me I could. She said that I couldn’t play with it at all. Ever. It was no longer mine. It is her exclusive property. Supervised masturbation is saying that I can borrow the toy with her permission.
I know that a lot of women like to watch a man masturbate. I’ve had girlfriends who asked me to do it for them. I obliged. I didn’t see the value for them and I hated wasting the semen. The message was very clear: it was my toy that I could share with them. Under my current situation, Mrs. Lion generally lets me get to the point that I really, really want my toy to get some attention. I know I’m not allowed to play with it and I’m desperate for her to spend some time giving me an orgasm.
If she included supervised masturbation in her bag of tricks, I could see rationalizing my need to ejaculate with the idea that she lets me do it anyway, why not do it now? Since I am never allowed to make myself ejaculate, this ambiguity doesn’t exist for me. I think that’s exactly the right thing.
There is a gray area. She doesn’t seem to mind if I get myself erect if I don’t have an intention to get off. Every now and then I take advantage of this. Sometimes, if I want to take a picture of my erect penis and she isn’t available, I produce the erection and photograph it. No big deal. I’ve always reasoned that all I’m doing is making myself hornier. She likes that. She likes me to be desperate to get off while understanding I can’t do anything about it myself. I don’t think that is a great joy to her, but it amuses her. Obviously, that’s more fun than watching me jerk off. The closest I get to supervised masturbation is watching her jerk me off.