In response to her Friday post, Not So Sore Butt, a reader commented,
“He seems to be forgetting about the coffee pot on purpose.”
Mrs. Lion responded that it could be possible, but she didn’t think so. I may be kinky, but I’m not suicidal. This was the second time I forgot to set up the coffee pot in about a week. Repeating an offense within a short time results in a more painful spanking. Mrs. Lion hit me harder and for a longer time.
She expects that over time I might “forget” a rule and require a reminder. This is her standard intensity spanking. If I break that rule again within a month or so, it means she didn’t send a strong enough message. She corrects her error by turning up the volume. We haven’t discussed it, but it seems to me that her “mistake” of being too gentle probably applies to all punishments.
One of the more difficult questions a disciplinary wife has to answer is: How intense a spanking has to be in order to be effective? Every husband is different and the same man may have different educational needs at different times. A spanking that effectively changed my behavior last year may not work very well now. The only sensible way to determine effectiveness is by behavior after the punishment.
There is no objective standard. A spanking may make me yelp and break my skin yet not send a strong enough message. The spanking I received for forgetting to set up the coffee pot the first time was extremely painful and made me yelp right from the start. Yet I still managed to forget to do my chore only a few days later.
Mrs. Lion’s standard spanking may have been truly unpleasant for me, but was clearly not enough to improve my memory. If the enhanced spanking I received on Thursday was effective and I reliably remember the coffee pot, then that is a clear signal her new standard should be the enhanced spanking.
I didn’t intentionally forget my chore. I wouldn’t do that. I know that a repeat will be even worse than the original punishment. If Mrs. Lion agrees with my reasoning (which I expect she will), I’ve now made every spanking more painful. Clearly, it is never in my interest to intentionally break a rule, particularly one that I broke in the recent past.
Mrs. Lion learns what constitutes an effective spanking from me. It isn’t how I react at the time, or even how much it hurts the days after. It’s how my behavior improves. She likes me to feel her spanking for days after she administers it. She may intensify to assure I have a reminder when I sit the next day. More importantly, she has to adjust the intensity if I fail to learn from her punishment.
We had discussed this in the past. She agrees that repeat offenses require stronger punishments. I realize that if I repeat an offense it means she didn’t communicate her displeasure as clearly as she needed. That means she needs to adjust her communication style to better reach me. She does that by spanking harder and longer. Sooner or later (Sooner, I hope!) she will get through to me.
I realize that repeat offenses signal that I am not serious enough about obedience. It makes sense to adjust the communication to better get through to me.
We realize that offenses that are repeated a month or more after the last correction are more of a memory problem. It isn’t necessarily a communication failure. In that case the standard communication style will probably remind me for another month or more.