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In: Edging, Erections, Games, Mrs Lion Comments

For some reason I’m more tired today than I was when I got far less sleep. I guess I can blame that on the rain, but it’s been overcast off and on for a while. I just want to snooze.

Yesterday I mowed part of the lawn. I was trying to get ahead of the rain forecast for today. Even with a self-propelled mower, it takes a lot out of me. I was tired and achy last night. However, I made a point to ask Lion if he was up for any action. He hasn’t been feeling well so I didn’t want to assume one way or the other. We had a wonderful thunderstorm roll through and we snuggled together listening to the booming. Lion didn’t think much would come of any attention but he suggested trying. Even though he never got hard, we both had fun while I played with my weenie.

We’ve been trying to figure out why Lion hasn’t been feeling well. Even if you dismiss his sore throat and headache from the other day, his tummy has been acting up a lot. We’ve deduced that it must be stress related. He’s worrying about his job. They say they’ll take him back and he believes them, but he can’t help wondering. There’s still a lot of death and destruction outside the door. I know the probability of us catching the virus might be fairly low, but there’s still a chance. Personally, I’m content living in our little bubble, but I know my work is eventually going to pull the plug on my working from home and I’ll have to go back. All these things can wreak havoc on your mind. The good thing is that he says he feels a little better today. Maybe the edging can continue.

It must be two weeks ago by now that I suggested playing Zapardy! The zapper needed to be charged and then I forgot about it for a few days. Lion was snoozing before Jeopardy! came on so that delayed us. Then he wasn’t feeling well. Maybe tonight, if the stars align, we can finally do it. The Greatest of All Time tournament has been rerunning this week. I don’t think that should matter. The questions may be harder, but I don’t think Lion will specifically remember from seeing them before. And if Zapardy! gets his motor running we can continue the festivities with some edging.

The weird part about working from home is that I’m here, but I’m not here. There’s some flexibility, but I shouldn’t just abandon my desk for a quickie in the afternoon. We didn’t really do that when we both had the time to do it even though Lion wanted us to. I am technically punched in while I work. However, once I punch out at 5 pm, my commute is much shorter now. Instead of nineteen miles, it’s more like nineteen feet. I should use that shorter commute to my advantage — to our advantage. Maybe that five o’clock hour could be the witching hour. Lion likes to play early. Let’s give it a try. I could punch out of one job and right into another. (It’s an analogy. I don’t think Lion is a job.) I’ll give that a shot tonight.

The thought just occurred to me that Lion never liked to initiate sex for fear of rejection, but I don’t seem to have that fear. I offer my “services” and if he can’t use them, I don’t feel slighted. He apologizes if he can’t get hard or loses his erection partway through, but I never feel the need for an apology. He doesn’t get mad at me if I need to stop for any reason. Why should I get mad at him? Sometimes I tease him that I’m not enough for him, but it’s just teasing. I do wonder, though, about his recent aversion to hand jobs, but I’m sure we’ll figure that out. We probably just need an experiment. Good thing I like experiments.

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In: Lion's Journal

I suppose it’s not surprising that people quickly grow tired of streaming video and other at-home entertainment. We are, after all, social critters. I think the situation with the COVID-19 quarantine is a lot like drinking and driving. People who are sure that one or two drinks don’t make any difference will take the cars out to drive home from a party. People who believe that the coronavirus is no more than a bad case of the flu are willing to risk it for a chance to stretch their legs and meet their friends.

People like Mrs. Lion and I aren’t likely to survive a bout of the virus. We both have complicating conditions that seriously threaten our survival if we catch it. Let’s assume that being infected is unlikely to cause you much more than a few days of discomfort. Let’s also assume that you are aware that once you get this disease, you are contagious and can give it to others. Do you think about that before you head over to the park? The point is that the very existence of this disease is life-threatening to about 5% of the people who catch it. Doing dangerous things, like resuming normal life at this point, is no different than driving drunk in a school zone.

The real problem is that people are either selfish or thoughtless. I’m very disturbed by the extreme pressure to open things up again at this point. The number of cases is accelerating and the number of deaths continues to grow larger. This is irrefutable. Every single model has raised its estimates of deaths from COVID-19. These changes are based on the fact that people are less interested in staying isolated.

Until an effective vaccine finds its way to most of us, we’re not going to get rid of this disease. Even if the optimistic estimate of January 2021 to roll out the vaccine comes true, the effect on our economy and our personal lives will be devastating. There isn’t an easy answer. I believe that we have to wait a little longer to allow the infection and death rates to drop. This is a game of statistics. Many experts believe that when hospitalizations and deaths drop for two consecutive weeks, then it’s safe to begin going out again. All of the models forecast increased infection and death even under those conditions.

I realize this isn’t about sex, chastity, or female-led relationships. It’s about survival. We can’t afford to lose you as a reader. Please think twice before going out. You’ll save your own life and very possibly ours.

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In: Mrs Lion Comments

Our sleep schedules have been off. Yesterday I was working on a few hours of sleep. I’m not good when that happens. Surprisingly, I was not falling asleep at my desk as I might have been if I was at work. I don’t know why. Even if I get a good night’s sleep, I can fall asleep at work. Maybe there’s something to my theory that it’s a sick building. If the air quality is off, it can actually make people sick. I think it puts me to sleep.

I was struggling to make sense of the numbers I was entering in. Is that a 4 or a 7? And did I just enter it as a 6? My muscles and nerves were taking turns being on fire. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t falling asleep. There was always something prodding me awake.

Around 4, Lion told me he’d written a post. He generally writes his post in the morning or afternoon for the following day. He lets me read it so I can check for typos and to see if it makes sense. He uses voice-to-text software and sometimes he doesn’t catch all the misunderstandings. Anyway, there was absolutely no misunderstandings in his post. He was hurt. I was wrong. And that’s all there was to it. We both write these kinds of “you suck and here’s why” posts from time to time. I guess it’s our way of fighting. The problem, of course, is that it’s a public display of non-affection. But then, isn’t that the point of the blog? It’s public.

Anyway, I’m in the middle of a spreadsheet of sixes that could be fours or sevens that may really have been nines for all I know, and he’s asking for a reaction from me. I gave him the reaction I always do, because I really thought things were going fine. He said I shut him down. A different set of muscles and nerves took their turn to be on fire.

Now, I need to back up a bit here and tell you that Lion wasn’t feeling well yesterday. He was tired, his stomach was bothering him, and he had a sore throat and a headache. I’m sure he was worried that he’d gotten the virus. And he was nice enough to point out later that if he had the virus, I’d been the one to bring it to him. But I digress. He was not a happy camper. I know he’s worried about not getting his job back whenever his company starts emerging from shutdown. I know he’s worried about catching the virus and people we know catching the virus. There’s a lot going on here even if there’s not much going on here. So I do what I do. I take his concerns and overcorrect.

The biggest concern is that I spend too much time on my iPad and I ignore him which proves that I don’t want to play with him because I don’t find him interesting anymore and our marriage is falling apart. (I can sort of joke about this now because I sleeping-pilled myself into a decent night’s sleep and Lion is feeling a little better too.) I decided to put the iPad down for the rest of the day. I’d spend my time focusing on Lion. I knew he didn’t want to play because he wasn’t feeling well, but we’d be together and I’d take care of him while we watch TV and chat and he’s asleep.

By the third nap of his, I picked up my iPad. I know I’ve been spending too much time on it. I don’t ignore Lion while I’m playing but I understand how he can feel that way. I will be more mindful of how long I’m playing. Lion’s other complaint was that he’s had to initiate sex lately. I’ve only done it once in the last I-don’t-know-how-long. Let me just say that I don’t keep track of who initiates what, but since he says he’s horrible at initiating sex, I don’t know what to make of this.

On top of all this, he didn’t set up the coffee pot. He asked if he did and I told him he didn’t. He said he would. He didn’t. This morning I said he never did. He wondered if he’d be spanked. Well, um, yeah. Isn’t that the point of the rule? I know he wasn’t feeling well yesterday and I have been lenient about him not setting it up, but if I’m being told I’m a slacker for not paying attention to him, shouldn’t I hold him to the rule? He agreed but said I should wait to punish him till he feels better. Really? Did I get the same consideration when he dropped the bombshell post on me yesterday? I was exhausted. I told him if I delay the punishment, it will be too far from the infraction (his argument) so we might as well forget about it.

Before bed, Lion asked if he should run the post. I always tell him to run it if it’s how he feels. The purpose of the blog is to share what we go through, good or bad. He said that wasn’t an answer, but decided to kill it. That’s why you can’t find it this morning. It never published. I guess you could look at this post as a “you suck and here’s why” post about Lion. I’m looking at it as a “our nerves are frayed from not sleeping well while we hear about and fear the death and destruction all around us” post. We’re both in uncharted territory and we need to figure out to make it bring us closer together rather than letting it push us apart.

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In: Mrs Lion Comments

I finally got the last of Lion waxed yesterday. It took longer to melt the wax than it did to remove the last of his fur. I knew it would. We ran out of wax the other day just short of being done. I’m sure I missed parts of him, but I usually miss something. I always tell him he gets what he pays for. It’s not that I don’t try to get it all. I swear his hair is like my veins when the phlebotomist goes looking for them. They’re all purple and visible until the needle shows up and then they go to ground.

While I was waiting for the wax to melt, I unpacked the box of waxing supplies. We have more warmers than we need. Lion bought two more when we moved and were unable to locate the box with the supplies. It turns out the newer warmers are actually better so we’ll continue to use them. Not only did I put the supplies away, but I also eliminated one more box from our stack of boxes remaining to be unpacked. To be fair, when we packed to move into this house, we still had boxes that hadn’t been unpacked from our move out here in 2006.

We never ate lunch so we had an early dinner, which actually wound up being only slightly early by the time it was done. I took my shower while Lion watched “60 Minutes”. Lion asked how I was feeling when I got out. He said he had ulterior motives for asking. Of course he did. He was looking for some action.

I started out with a hand job. He was responding but my shoulder got tired and he said he’d rather have oral attention anyway. Somewhere between his hand job and blow job, he lost interest. Well, he didn’t actually lose interest. He said it felt wonderful. My weenie was just not as excited as he had been. The spell had been broken. Then his stomach was bothering him again.

I know there’s some phenomenon about the pandemic that’s messing with people. We’re sleep deprived. I was awake until 3:30 am with my mind on full throttle. We’re anxious. We’re worried. We’re scared. We’re not sure anything will be normal again. I have no idea if any of this has anything to do with why Lion lost his mojo last night, but I’m sure it has something to do with his stomach funkiness.

I doubt I’ll be in any shape to give Lion attention this afternoon or evening. I’m doing my best to get through my workday before I collapse. If yesterday is any indication, I’ll be tired without actually being sleepy. And if I do collapse early, what will that mean for sleep tonight? We’re both tired of being tired.