Is My Goal To Squirt?

When I was a prepubescent boy living in the suburbs of New York City there was very little information available to me about sex. In fact, I had no idea why my little penis would stick out straight every so often. I liked how it felt, but no idea what was going on.

I wondered about girls. I knew that men and women had sex. I had no idea exactly what that meant, but I knew it was supposed to be fun. Based on my conversations with other equally ignorant boys, I knew that boys wanted to have sex with girls. One guy told me that his older brother said that girls actually want to have sex too. That was unbelievable to us. It was a legend we wanted to believe but in our hearts of hearts knew it couldn’t be true.

I don’t know why I thought back to those innocent days. In case you wonder, I subsequently learned that girls do, indeed, want sex. In my experience, most of them didn’t want it as much as me. Even through adulthood and marriage, though not with Mrs. Lion, I got the feeling that most of the sex I experienced was due to my need for it, not my partner’s. Since my sweet lioness lost her interest in sex, I’m back to being accommodated.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Obviously, my preference would be something mutual, but Mrs. Lion finds pleasure, albeit not sexual pleasure, doing things she knows I want. It’s taken time for her to find some sweet spots for her in our one-way sex life.

She’s always liked making me ejaculate. For reasons she hasn’t been able to fully articulate, it’s fun for her. It doesn’t hurt that she really likes the taste of semen. Go figure! More recently, she discovered that bringing me to the edge over and over and then leaving me wanting is fun too. I know that she has never minded teasing me, now I can see that she actively enjoys it when she can make me believe I’m going to ejaculate and then stops just short.

Orgasm isn’t the goal

I’m sure that part of her pleasure is that I also enjoy this as well, though maybe not the same way she likes it. It’s a little like spanking. I get excited thinking about being edged by her. It’s arousing remembering the last session. While she’s doing it, it feels good but leaves me extremely frustrated.

The more intense my experience, the more we both like it: she at the time, me the next day. I think that her pleasure turned a corner just a few days ago. She’s written in her posts and has told me, that she makes me wait because she knows I like it. Most recently, she said that it’s much more fun for her when I’m really horny and panting to ejaculate.

I know she wants me to be happy. That desire got in the way for a very long time when it came to our disciplinary relationship. She spanked me because she knew I wanted to be spanked. Only recently did she decide to spank me because I need it. It’s punishment now. I’m very glad she feels that way.

Making me wait for an orgasm isn’t necessarily easy for her. Aside from the fact she likes getting me off, I think she also wants me to be happy and she knows I’m happy when I get to ejaculate. She also knows the longer she makes me wait while edging me on a nearly daily basis, the more frustrated I get.

If she can focus on the fun she has, I think the number of orgasms I get will go down considerably. I’m in favor of this. For whatever reason, I’m not particularly interested in sex for a couple of days after I ejaculate. For the next few days after that, I can be aroused and enjoy stimulation. I don’t seem to be able to get to the edge, at least without incredible effort. Mrs. Lion seems happy to simply get me as excited as she can.

Her real fun, and mine as well, begins when she can bring me to the edge. This can take four or five days after an orgasm. Given that, if I get another orgasm a week after the last, she only has two or three days when it’s really fun to tease me.

We both seemed to become more aware of this after my last orgasm. Perhaps we’ve both been too goal-oriented. Maybe the goal isn’t ejaculation anymore. Perhaps it’s intense edging instead. Maybe Mrs. Lion’s 7 to 10 day spacing between orgasms should be changed to 7 to 10 days of intense edging. Maybe it should be more.

I don’t think that completely eliminating ejaculation in favor of edging would work. I may be wrong, but I think that deep down inside I need to know that at some point she will take me over that edge. It’s the belief that maybe this time is the one, that makes it so exciting for me and allows me to try to help her get me off. If I knew that I simply wasn’t going to get off, I might not be so cooperative.

If Mrs. Lion agrees, we are going to need to find a new balance. Because she is so kindhearted, she is almost guaranteed to not push things very far. I suppose the only way to get some idea how long I need to wait is to make me wait until it’s clear that my responsiveness is diminishing. Just a day or two of not being able to get the kind of edging exercise Mrs. Lion likes is probably not sufficient to signal I need an orgasm. Several days of reduced interest, probably means it’s time for me to recharge my batteries.

Instead of orgasm and ejaculation being a desperately sought goal, it becomes a biological necessity to keep me able to get edged. The goal for her more than I is to sustain me at that level. Occasional ejaculations support this.

I’m not sure that I’ll ever think about orgasms this way. After all, they’ve been a goal for my entire life. However, I have to admit that making edging the goal is a lot more reasonable. It’s an evolutionary step for both of us.