Year: 2020

Lion wasn’t feeling very well over the weekend. He had a sore throat and thought he might be coming down with something. It’s probably the same thing I’ve been fighting for a few weeks. He snoozed most of the evening. I owed him swats but I knew he needed sleep more than swats so I let him snooze.

This morning he’s feeling better. Maybe not all the way better, but enough to receive punishment tonight. I, on the other hand, an not feeling well. Right now I’m battling to stay awake. I’m confident that I’ll be doing better when I get home.

Since I didn’t punish him last night, I was thinking we’d be better off if I gave him his swats as soon as I walk through the door. Obviously I’ll need to get a little settled first, but shortly thereafter I should be able to whomp him. This will give him some time between his punishment and any play we do later on. It will also get me before I sink into the comfort of being home and not wanting to do anything.

Yesterday I made the short trek out to the camper to retrieve narrow paddles. I didn’t find what I was looking for but I found some suitable alternatives. I think the ones I was looking for are in the giant toy box. I’m just not up for rummaging through that. I found a crop that has a fairly narrow head and a somewhat lightweight wooden spoon with a handle of about an inch and a half. I think those will work fine in Lon’s crack. If not, I guess I’ll be digging into the toy box at some point.

For the moment, I’m focusing on his crack. I haven’t forgotten about the rest of his butt. I just want to concentrate on one thing at a time. Eventually, I’ll probably need multiple paddles to cover his whole butt. The narrow ones won’t do much damage to the more cushioned areas. I’ll need the big guns for that.

I guess we’ve come a long way since I started punishing Lion. I’m sure we still have a long way to go.

Sometimes I’m not too bright. For example, on Saturday morning I remembered it was punishment day. Mrs. Lion wasn’t in the room at the time so I figured I would wait and tell her when I saw her. I didn’t. It completely slipped my mind. You’d think I would remember because I know very well what happens when I forget.

When I did remember, it crossed my mind not to tell her because I sort of wanted a spanking. I quickly decided that was not a good thing to do because it felt dishonest. Maybe my unconscious mind made me forget. My very conscious bottom pays the price. You might also argue that Mrs. Lion planned to spank me anyway. She wants more practice working in the “crack”. That idea sort of excites me too. I would much rather receive a maintenance or practice spanking than a punishment one.

Yesterday morning I was thinking about how I would react to our blog if I had never considered a Female Led Relationship with Discipline or, for that matter, enforced male chastity. Both concepts are pretty strange. Then I started thinking about why I would consider them strange. Then it came to me.

The obvious reason is that I am subjecting myself to a loss of pleasure (orgasms) and painful punishments. This is happening in the context of marriage, an institution where two equals are bound together for life. Wait a minute! Two equals?

If you go by the situation comedies that were on television when I was a kid, husbands were the nominal heads of the household. However, the real intelligence and authority came from the wives. Husbands, think Ricky Ricardo, were constantly outsmarted by their cute “little” wives.

My parents seem to have no clear idea of who was in charge. When it suited her, my mother would tell me that my father would speak to me when I did something wrong. Neither of them ever spanked me. Otherwise, she seemed to do exactly what she pleased regardless of what my father thought about her activities or spending. Apparently, (I don’t remember this but the housekeepers who raised me told me) my parents would have long, loud fights. These fights had no resolution other than my father going off and drinking.

There was no real structure. My mom worked and had her own money. My father worked more and paid most of the bills. Absent was any real affection between them. They were horrible role models for my future.

This lack of tradition left me free to decide for myself what might work in my life. My first wife was, for want of a better word, submissive. She let me make any decision I cared for. I think a better explanation is that she left me to deal with the things that mattered. She was free to pursue her career and, after we had kids, become a doting mother.

We had a good sex life. It was absolutely vanilla; well we did have anal sex once in a while. There was no kink. I wanted to be spanked and once I asked her if she would. In a flat, unemotional way, she said, “No.” That was that. I guess it was this event that made me realize there was a lot more wrong with our marriage that I wanted to admit.

Mrs. Lion, as you know, has no problem spanking me. She did in the beginning but overcame that hurdle. I suppose that is strange. What can I tell you? Much, more importantly, is the dynamic we share.

In no way is Mrs. Lion a femdom. She’s an easy-going, wonderfully sweet woman. I never really wanted a classic dominant woman. My submissive desires are pretty limited. I like that she controls if and when I will get an orgasm and I like that she spanks me. I really don’t think that’s a big deal. Some people may consider it odd, but it’s harmless.

The much more significant change is the way the power dynamic evolves in our relationship. We are partners and we do pretty much everything together. From the beginning, she has deferred to me. This isn’t a problem for me, but I think that it could ultimately hurt our relationship.

Now we’re getting to what many people will believe is strange. In fact, I think that most of the people who enjoy male chastity will find this next part really odd. Instead of the BDSM, femdom sort of female authority (something I really don’t like), we are evolving into a true female-led marriage. It’s nothing like most people think about when they hear this expression. In fact, is very close to the way real lions relate to one another.

The females defer to the male almost all of the time. They let him eat first and have his way with the pride, up to a point. When he does something one of them doesn’t like, he gets a very painful bite on the rear end as a reminder that his authority only extends as far as the lionesses allow.

It’s the same dynamic we have in our marriage. Mrs. Lion is happy to go along with what I want until she isn’t. Then I learn of her displeasure via a painful punishment spanking.

Developing this dynamic hasn’t been easy for her. She has a strong sense of fairness. She doesn’t like the idea that she should punish me for something I didn’t know was wrong. This concept comes from raising children. It’s unfair to punish children if they don’t know they’ve done something they shouldn’t. I’ve argued it isn’t the same with adults. Adults should know better.

In vanilla marriages, dissatisfaction with the behavior of one mate may seem to be overlooked. Sooner or later as things accumulate, destructive behaviors emerge that can destroy the marriage. I felt this was particularly dangerous in Mrs. Lion and my marriage. Even though we both work hard to make each other happy, I’ve done things that upset her. Her typical reaction was to ignore my transgression and move on. Eventually, her anger would build up and she would give me the silent treatment. That’s particularly difficult for me to handle. I have a strong fear of rejection.

The solution is the FLRD we have now. The idea is that if I do something that displeases her, I get punished. Mrs. Lion prefers to spank me for punishment. She’s learning that it doesn’t matter if I have a rule for the behavior she doesn’t like or not. All that matters is that I’ve done something that displeases her. My punishment is an expression of her displeasure. Simple, right?

Yes, I have explicit rules I have to follow. More importantly, I will learn when Mrs. Lion is displeased with my behavior. She may growl at me. In fact, until very recently, that was all she would do. Now, she will growl and then at her earliest convenience, punish me.

I like this change. I don’t like the discomfort of the spanking. I really like that she lets me know in no uncertain terms when I’ve done something she doesn’t like. Since I don’t like having a sore bottom, I should quickly learn how to avoid repeating that behavior. Even if I do like a sore bottom, eventually enough is enough. One way or another, she gets to let me know and I learn to avoid repeating the error.

It’s not complicated. There are no BDSM rituals; just my bare bottom and her paddle. It’s always the same. Sometimes, the spanking will be longer and more severe. Generally, Mrs. Lion reserves those extra unpleasant sessions to things that she particularly dislikes or for things I can’t seem to learn. Forgetting Saturday punishment day appears to be one of those. Eventually, I will learn.

I don’t think it’s particularly strange or crazy. It represents a treaty between us. It’s an agreement that allows us to resolve the sort of emotionally loaded issues that hurt other relationships. It’s not dangerous. It almost certainly isn’t your cup of tea. It’s ours. I hope you understand.

I was an hour late as well but it doesn’t matter when I remember. The key is that Lion didn’t. He forgot Saturday punishment day again. I was in the beginning stages of jerking him off when I realized he was in trouble. It was too late to switch gears and give him his swats if I still wanted to play with him. And I’m sure if I had taken an impromptu poll of the situation, Lion would have been all for continuing on our current heading. Today is soon enough for a punishment spanking.

So I continued on with Lion’s handjob. I made sure I gave ample attention to his balls. I massaged them. I tickled them. I squeezed them. I hope they had fun. Of course, the main event continued. I changed hands a few times as my arms got tired. The last grip I had on him freed up my hand closest to his balls so I could work on them at the same time.

Lion made it to the edge at least twice before I kept going to another orgasm. He was surprised. Good! He should be. Sometimes I telegraph when I’ll give him an orgasm. He might have expected one on Friday since it was Valentine’s Day but it never even crossed my mind. [Lion — mine either.] Maybe I’m slipping. I was in a weird mood then. Not really a bad mood. Definitely not a good mood. Just weird. I have no idea how many days he waited this time but I’d guess it was less than his most recent seven-day wait.

How long will I make him wait next time? That’s a surprise. Lion fluctuates between wanting to know and not wanting to know when his next orgasm will be. If he can’t decide, I’ll decide for him. He won’t know. I want him to think every time might be the time. I think it’s more fun that way. I like watching his face when he’s getting close and he seems sure he’ll make it all the way only for me to stop. Oh. Too bad.

Tonight, whatever else happens, Lion’s butt will be red and sore. If I do it right he’ll feel it tomorrow as well. If I don’t, well, he’ll give me more opportunities to practice.

I can’t remember when I didn’t want to be spanked. Thinking about it made me hard even before I understood what that meant. It wasn’t that I wanted to feel the pain. I never even considered that it might hurt. It was more about being exposed and vulnerable. It’s still a good part of my interest in the subject. Of course, I now know it hurts quite a bit. I also know that it’s a very important component of our marriage. To my surprise, Mrs. Lion knows that too. As I wrote before, we only learned this when we had to suspend activity due to my illness. We both missed it.

Another new thing I’ve learned is that there is much more to spanking than getting my bottom hit. I have to admit that surprised me. I had been spanking women for 20 years before I became the object of the paddle. I was told that I was very effective. I knew where to hit and how hard. The feedback I received from the ladies I spanked was generally sexual excitement.

Now that I’m the target, I’m learning that there are subtle differences Mrs. Lion can evoke. The obvious one is the way different instruments feel. That was never a surprise. Some paddles sting like hell, others are thuddy. All hurt when she wants them to. I’ve also learned that when she focuses her attention on the outer areas of my cheeks (farthest from the crack) it is much more painful than when she hits in the center. I’ve just learned that there is a new, more intense sensation when she uses her hand to spread my cheeks and spanks in the tender area between them.

When I was a spanker I never considered this area. I only learned of it when I read a post by Julie in her blog She wrote that she spreads her husband’s cheeks or has her husband spread them for her and then she applies a paddle or strap not only to the tender skin protected by his crack but also to his anal area as well. She says that it makes later insertion of dildos more “interesting” for him.

I told Mrs. Lion about this and she tried it. As she often does, she puts her own spin on it. She uses one hand to pull back my cheek and the other to paddle. She starts right above my balls. That tender little area of flesh gets a lot of attention before she moves up. So far, she hasn’t used anything to spank the anal area. I suspect the paddle would be too wide to reach it.

On Friday we exchanged emails discussing this subject. No, we didn’t talk about spanking my anus; we talked about implements the might do a better job in that small area that seems so terribly sensitive. I sent her some links to smaller paddles. She commented that we have some implements that might do the job. One is a narrow rubber slapper. It’s a paddle handle with a one-inch wide piece of heavy conveyor belt fabric attached. This rubber fabric is heavy and very dense. She said it’s in the camper. I suspect she will be making a trip out there this weekend.

I may need to buy her a special gift. I suspect that even the conveyor belt slapper is too wide. She may want a short, narrow-tipped riding crop. This will certainly do an excellent job. Let’s face it, I’m a gadget freak. I enjoy solving problems, even if the problem being solved means more pain for me. A crop has a couple of nice advantages: First, it has two striking surfaces, the slapper at the end and the hard shaft that supports it. I’ve used both in my career as a top. I used this sort of slapper for administering pussy spankings. It’s especially effective if my bottom holds her pussy wide open so I can reach all those nice tender spots inside.

I asked Mrs. Lion if she would like me to hold my crack open for her. She said no, not for now. She thinks it might be too awkward for me. I’m not going to push the point.

This new-for-me spanking area can be used by itself as an effective punishment. Or, it can just expand Mrs. Lion’s sensation vistas. She knows it’s effective. I can’t help myself and I yelled loudly when she spanks me there. I have no idea how it will feel when she starts hitting around my anus.