I think we are moving into a new phase of our female-led activities. For one thing, I’m accepting that reality is very different from my fantasies. Mrs. Lion is never going to be the strict mommy/mistress I initially visualized. She’s my wife and likes me to be her strong, independent husband. That makes sense. It was who she married. Where does that leave our female-led relationship?

The answer is straightforward. We have clearly defined areas of authority that Mrs. Lion strictly enforces. There are just two now: She controls when I get sex of any kind. The other is that I must obey specific rules she has given me. The sexual area has always been a bit fuzzy. Mrs. Lion is very responsive to me when I tell her I am horny. She generally will either tease and edge me or make me ejaculate when I tell her. This gives me considerable control in an area I supposedly surrendered.

I’ve come to realize that if I’m going to truly surrender, I have to stop sending sexual messages. If Mrs. Lion wants to know if I am interested in sex, all she has to do is play with my/her weenie, and it will let her know. There is a risk if I don’t suggest I want sex. She could ignore me entirely. She did that for several years before we started male chastity. Locking me in a chastity device served to remind her that I was completely dependent on her for any sexual activity. With it off, there is no reminder.

There are days when she isn’t feeling very good. Her shoulders can be sore or she has a headache–a real headache. She’s justifiably uninterested in providing sex for me. I can’t argue with that. She needs to take care of herself. The problem is that if I am silent, I think she believes I am uninterested. She can “forget” how much I want sex if I don’t talk about it. In the past, I broke my silence and asked for sex. I didn’t have to do this when I was locked up. The device served as a visual reminder and did a good job of reminding her that she agreed to play at least every other day. [Mrs. Lion — It may have been a visual reminder, but I never actually looked at it and said, “Oh, that’s right. I need to unlock Lion.” I agree that there are times when I can’t remember if we played yesterday or maybe it was the day before, but I don’t think that would change with the cage on.]

Maybe we need to go back to full-time wear. I’m certainly happy to do it. I’m also happy to remain wild. I don’t cheat. It may be that Mrs. Lion will get the benefit of me being locked up. It’s something for her to consider.

The second area of our female-led relationship is obedience. Mrs. Lion has the right and obligation to punish me for anything I do that she feels needs correction. In practice, this comes down to enforcing two rules: no eating before she starts or gives me permission and setting up the coffee pot each day. In practice, the only time I’ve been punished is when I forget the coffee pot.

We both agree that I need more opportunities to earn punishment. We need this, or inertia will set in, and the disciplinary relationship goes by the board. If only I lost connection with my role, Mrs. Lion could correct it with her paddle. We both lose it, and FLR fades until one of us remembers. I think that we never really formed the right habits. She wrote about this yesterday. I think we agree.

Related posts:

  1. Getting A Good Fit (Updated April 2019) The most important step in beginning enforced male chastity is selection of your chastity device. There are many choices in construction and style. While aesthetics are important, whats more important is the...
  2. Female Led Relationship: A Woman’s Guide A Female Led Relationship (FLR), also sometimes called Wife Led Marriage (WLM) is a broader form of power exchange than enforced chastity. There are tons of definitions floating around the Internet but I think Wikipedia...
  3. The Erection Of Consent What would happen if the male side of a Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD) lost interest in sex? Let’s say several years into an established FLRD relationship the male partner’s libido disappears. I think...
  4. Two Birds With One Stone It’s another one of my harebrained ideas. I reasoned that if Mrs. Lion is having difficulty punishing me for doing things that upset her, and I am having difficulty initiating sex, then we have a...
  5. The Misdemeanor Department I may have made a mistake. Six years ago we began our power exchange. It started with enforced male chastity. I was locked into a chastity device and only unlocked for Mrs. Lion’s teasing and...
  6. What FLR Means To Us Generally, I avoid debates over terminology. But there is one term that confuses me, FLR or Female Led Relationship. That may seem odd since Mrs. Lion and I are in one. Let me explain. A...
Listen to this post.

3 Comments

  1. Put the cage back on

  2. I am sure that we are in a very common situation where the male is interested in sex most of the time and the female just occasionally. Also, I don’t expect my wife will become a strict mistress. Like you said, she married a man and is not interested in having a submissive, feminized maid even if I think that would be a logical conclusion.
    Although I sometimes feel neglected, after three months of orgasm denial, she provided me with an awesome scene last Sunday that ended with an incredibly mind blowing orgasm. I may not get all that I want, but she is there for what I need.
    Compromises and communication, that’s what keeps a good relationship going. You folks seem to be doing that very well.

    1. Author

      I’m glad you finally had a good orgasm. It makes waiting for the next one easier.

Comments are closed.