I know that some of our readers think that our disciplinary relationship is cruel and that Mrs. Lion’s spankings are too severe. It might appear that way to someone who started reading our blog in the recent past. That’s the trouble with an online journal. I think it might be helpful to provide a little history about how we started practicing domestic discipline.
The genesis was shortly after I met Mrs. Lion. I told her that I like BDSM in general and spanking in particular. She reluctantly agreed to give it a try. Mrs. Lion is amazing about being willing to try new things. My first spanking was a short series of little taps that I barely felt. Over the years, she learned to give me a spanking that made me yelp. She did this in the context of a BDSM scene. It was very hot.
A few years ago, I suggested that Mrs. Lion could spank me for breaking the rules. After some thought, she gave me a few simple rules that I was sure to break frequently. The idea was for us to get practice with rules and punishments. We’ve kept it up. Over the years, she’s experimented with spanking techniques and tools. We’ve both learned that for a spanking to be effective, it has to be severe and last for at least ten minutes. The DWC suggests ten minutes for the first offense and five minutes added on for additional offenses. Mrs. Lion has adopted this system. She spanks me well past when the timer goes off.
The spanking leaves marks on me that last for several days. I’ve published pictures that Mrs. Lion took right after spanking me. These images have drawn some strong negative comments that accuse her of abusing me. I’m not abused. I’m disciplined. No, that isn’t splitting hairs. I consent to be punished by my lioness. I recognize that I don’t like or want to be punished, but the results improve our marriage. Mrs. Lion has never injured me. Spanking is a safe way of inflicting meaningful pain. That’s why it is the world’s most popular punishment.
I decided to write this post because the spanking I received on Wednesday night created a question from Mrs. Lion. She had just yelled at the dog and put her in her crate. Her swats were harder than usual. At one point, I was close to my safeword. I told her that she was hitting too hard. She backed off a little and then when back to the original intensity. It was a fifteen-minute spanking, and I hated every second of it. She stopped just a minute short of the full fifteen.
I was fine after the spanking. When the adrenaline wore off, my bottom hurt. Yes, it was supposed to. I felt it when I lay on my side to go to sleep. In an email on Thursday, she wrote, “Do you really think I was hitting too hard last night?”
I thought about that for a while. I wrote back, “Well, it was hard to take. Perhaps a little more warmup or practice?”
On further reflection, I realized that it wasn’t too hard at all. It was supposed to be hard to take. Mrs. Lion just pushed my limit a little. She should hit me that hard with less warmup. She was right. Wednesday night was a true punishment spanking. I reacted the way I should. I’m not supposed to decide how hard she should hit. She did exactly the right thing. I imagine that future spankings will be equally unpleasant. After all, I’m not supposed to like them.
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So, how much is “too much” then? You were close to using your safeword, which presumably means that you couldn’t handle the pain without some significant adverse consequence.
There are two things I see from DD people I have encountered:
1. The goal is to take you to always be as severe as is “safely” possible. Why? What is the reason for every single misdeed to elicit the harshest and most painful beating possible?
2. “Too much pain” is not considered a valid basis for safewording. Only “medical emergencies” or the like are allowed. I don’t get the implicit premise that there is no level of sustained pain that is unsafe unless it causes lasting structural damage.
The cruelty comment is interesting because it suggests that consent eliminates the possibility of cruelty. However, you have structured this DD regime to feel as non-consensual as possible. You write about it as if you have no say in the matter. It”s just a “fact of life.”
So, it seems like you are role playing something that is cruel. I would think that bruising someone and making then bleed as they continually “Yelp” during a fifteen minute spanking (which is an eternity with sustained and intense blows) without consent would be considered cruel by more than just me.
I have role played DD type scenes that are cruel and which caused bruising and ripping of skin. I went the distance and reacted like I would In a truly cruel and non-consensual situation and dissociated to endure it.
I think that the point is that we want things to be effective and real. This is overlayed by safe, sane, and consensual guidelines. What works for us may not work for you. Our DD is effective and safe. It certainly hurts. It’s supposed to. You seem to want to brand our activities in as negative a light as possible. If what we write about offends your sensibilities, why not read other blogs that might appeal to you.