So far, working from home has been an adventure. The dog needs attention. The lion needs attention. In all fairness, many things happened to need attention, which required Lion to ask for my help. Plus, with two days off for Thanksgiving and already being a little behind in my work, I am now two days and then some behind in my work. One of the reasons I was behind was helping another department, so my boss was not upset. Another annoyance is that the payments I was working on would not balance. And then others decided they wouldn’t balance. I was chasing my tail for a long time. It was the perfect storm for my first day of working from home.
It surprised Lion and me that our football team actually won on Sunday. I think that prompted Lion to watch the Seahawks. They aren’t his team, so he has little use for them ordinarily. When the Giants are having a losing season, it’s usually nice to watch the Seahawks because they normally have a better season. Not this year. They both suck. Actually, the Giants have one more win than the Seahawks at this point in the season. We’ll take any bright spot.
The dog/people trainer comes back tomorrow, so I have to clean up around here again. In my spare time, of course. I’m impressed by what he’s shown us so far. We have a way to keep the dog from getting too crazy. If we can stop her before she gets frantic, she can calm herself down. Of course, she still managed to go nuts twice yesterday. Both times were when we were in the middle of something. She’s clearly an attention hog.
Lion is something of an attention hog, too. He thinks I don’t do things with him because I’m not interested in sex for myself. I think I’m too stressed. If I wanted sex, I think I’d be too tired and frazzled to do anything about it. It’s a common complaint among men. The wife is too tired after working and taking care of the house and kids to spend time with him. Yes, we had a four-day weekend. No, that didn’t stop the house and kid (dog) from taking up my time.
Now that I work from home, I don’t have my commute to help with de-stressing. It wasn’t a very long commute anyway, but I’d listen to music or an audiobook or be quiet and think. Obviously, it didn’t do too much to de-stress me. I need to figure out how to be less frazzled. I’ve thought of meditation and tai chi. Both require time and, to some extent, quiet. Not happening.
Okay. Back to Lion. If I have time after cleaning up and cutting the dog’s toenails, I’ll bring out the spanking bench and whomp his buns tonight. I bet he thinks I forgot. Nope. Well, I did for a day or so. I thought of it yesterday, but then as I was trying to make the bed, we discovered the dog chewed a wire so that the bed won’t adjust, and Lion called Sleep Number customer service, which was a whole fiasco in itself. And I still had to change the bed.
I even thought about doing Zapardy last night. Then dinner was delayed, and Lion fell asleep during Wheel of Fortune or just after Jeopardy started, so we didn’t. Of course, if he’d been wearing the shock collar, I could have, ever so rudely, awakened him with a zap. Wouldn’t that have been mean? I would have vibrated him awake. A shock would have been too much.
So, in review, I have a lot to do before even thinking about having fun. Does that make Lion a chore? No. Think of it this way: I have to finish my homework before going out to play.
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You didn’t ask and it’s not my business, but I’m concerned for you, Mrs. Lion. I recently watched my mother suffer through a mental and physical breakdown as a result of being a full-time care-taker of her Alzheimer’s afflicted husband. Of course, that’s a relatively extreme situation, but you are a care-giver and that takes a toll. Parents pay a toll that (hopefully) gets easier as their children mature. Spouses pay a toll that gets harder, then harder still. Perhaps Lion is expected to recover some of his mobility and much of the care-giving you’re doing now is temporary, but even if that’s the case, we’re all getting older–he’s going to need more care as he ages and as you age, you’ll have less strength to give him.
You wrote: “I need to figure out how to be less frazzled.”
I recommend (You didn’t ask and unsolicited advice is really a form of criticism. Well, yes, actually I do think that you are not caring for yourself properly.) that figuring out how to be less frazzled includes some actual changes, not just trying harder. Three things spring to my mind.
1. Since you don’t have a commute to wind down or a space (off-site job) apart from Lion, I recommend you *schedule* time away from him and the dog and the house to relax and generally self-care. Take a walk, take a drive, take an art class, meet a friend for tea, take yourself to a nail salon, go to the library to listen to a book on tape somewhere Lion and the dog aren’t. Please make time for self-care. You deserve a little breathing room; more to the point, you probably *need* it.
2. Give yourself a break. I mean that literally.
2.A. Take a look at your standards and chores and jettison some of them. You are doing too much.
2.B. Get help. If you can’t/won’t jettison it, then pay for help. You are doing too much.
3. Start researching options. Look into home health aides, assisted living facilities, etc. Planning for the likely keeps it from becoming the worst while also minimizing fear of the future and the trauma of surprise.
This is sort of a dramatic comment and I realize your situation isn’t urgently dire. You have been writing about your lives for a while and this is more of the same. I’m rooting for you both, but I’m worried about you, Mrs. Lion.