By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

I am tired. Not physically. Emotionally. I’m tired of being the bad guy when it comes to sex. I know Lion is tired too. He’s tired of my not wanting sex. He’s tired of being a chore, even though I keep telling him he’s not.

Yesterday, I wrote about going back in time to do things the way we used to when we were first “dating”. I put dating in quotes because we never really did date. We met for sex. I can’t remember how long it was before we went out to eat together. Again, I had kids to raise, and he had an insignificant other he was maintaining a household with. When would we have actually gone on a real date? Anyway, I suggested making us the focus for an hour or so a week. No TV. No chores. Ideally, no dog to annoy us. Since we can’t afford to go to a hotel for an hour and we really have no reason to, we could put life on hold and play/cuddle/have sex.

Almost immediately, Lion had a reaction to that. How about now? Now? What are you doing now? He said, in his post for this morning, that I never made an appointment for Sunday sex. Didn’t I? What does, “What do you say, Lion? Can I pencil you in for Sunday at 3?” mean? Isn’t that a request for a date? It seems to me the ball is in his court. [Lion — Is a sentence in a post an invitation? Sorry, I don’t think so. A real life request is an invitation (which as of 12:30 PM on Sunday I still haven’t gotten.).] [Mrs. Lion — Argh! Sometimes he’s like Sheldon from “The Big Bang Theory.] Does Sunday at 3 work for him? I don’t know. I still haven’t gotten an answer. For the record, I chose Sunday because I figured it would be nice to set something up in advance. Lion likes the anticipation of knowing something is going to happen. I also figured he was in work mode, writing, and I was in chore mode. I wasn’t saying nothing would happen on Saturday. I just hadn’t planned it to happen on Saturday afternoon.

Lion jumped on the fact that I said he snoozes and that stops me from playing with him. Yeah, sometimes it does. And sometimes I realize that resets the Lion clock and 9 o’clock may actually be 8 o’clock in Lion time. I also said that wasn’t the reason we hadn’t played the night before. It wasn’t. The damn TV is what did it. If he wants me to ignore the TV, maybe put on an “Odd Couple”, the Three Stooges or something like that.

As far as waiting a day or so before approaching Lion about sex is concerned, something must have changed very recently. Way back when, he was ready for sex every day. Even when we started enforced chastity, he was ready for edging the next day. He wasn’t ready for an orgasm, but he was hard and ready to play. Over time, he needed a day or so to recharge his batteries. No problem. Then he needed a few more days. That wasn’t a problem either. All of a sudden, the other day, he announced he was horny the day after his orgasm. Excuse me? Where did that come from? And it was morning. Lion has always disliked sex in the morning. For him to say he was horny in the morning is a complete turnaround. No problem. Okie dokie. Give me a minute to get my bearings. And then I dropped the ball anyway.

We were watching an old game show rerun and there was a question about kissing. I don’t remember the wording, but I said I only want to kiss him. Lion said he only wants to kiss me, but added that I don’t really kiss him much anymore. Right backatcha, buddy. He’s as free to kiss me as I am to kiss him. Where are my kisses? To me, it’s the same as saying I don’t snuggle with him. I’m always the one moving over to snuggle with him. He doesn’t even roll over to meet me halfway. He says it’s difficult for him to roll over. I can give him a pass on that. The kissing, not so much. When I roll over, I’m always kissing his shoulder or chest, depending on how I’m situated. I’m kissing him. I know it probably only counts to him if it’s on the lips, but I kiss him all over and I count them all.

I decided last night I would hit him with the IcyHot. I was prepared for him to tell me he wasn’t interested in IcyHot or sex, for that matter. After I read his post for this morning, I told him we’d play later and he said not to worry about it. If he had tried to dissuade me when I had IcyHot in hand, I was going to tell him it was too bad if he didn’t want it. He can’t whine about not getting attention and then not want attention. Luckily, he didn’t resist. I won’t say it was the most exciting encounter he’s had in a while. I used some lube, trying to sort of recreate the waxing table vibe. He did get hard, but not to the edge. I don’t know if that was because it was too late in the day, too late in his cycle, or not the right position/it was hand job and not oral.

If he accepts my date for 3 on Sunday (today), we’ll try again. This time it’ll be oral sex, among other things.

[Lion — This is what discourages me. My interest in sex isn’t consistent or reliable. I wish it was, but it isn’t. I will be available at 3 PM. I can’t guarantee that I will be ready for sex, but if Mrs. Lion uses her mouth, well that’s magic and works every time. I guess we’ll see.]

By:
In: Lion's Journal

One of the hazards of writing a post here is that Mrs. Lion will read it and take it as my last word on a subject. For example, yesterday, she wrote (“Everything Old Is New Again“) that she would make a Sunday appointment for sexual activity. What I’m a little afraid to write is that I think it may be too late. I’m writing this late on Saturday afternoon. It is the third day after an orgasm. I can feel my interest in sex falling off today. By tomorrow it may feel like it is too much trouble.

What’s wrong with this is that Mrs. Lion will take the mildest negative response from me as a reason to withdraw and not even try. Here I am writing about losing interest. The odds are good that she won’t even try later or tomorrow. No matter how emphatically I say that the pump needs daily or every-other-day priming, there is always a reason it doesn’t happen. Then, I get to the point where my interest wanes, and Mrs. Lion disappears for a week or so.

The fact that sexual interest diminishes doesn’t change my desire to avoid this condition. I just don’t get it. I’m asking for less than a half-hour of lioness attention. We’ve both written about this subject for months. It doesn’t seem to matter. I’m in a sort of lose/lose situation. Every time I bring it up, a new reason for the problem emerges. Yesterday, Mrs. Lion said,

” When I moved over to snuggle, we picked a TV show to watch, and the rest is history. I let my hand wander a little bit, but nothing more. Why? I get sucked in when we start watching TV. I know we can pause it at any time. I look at the clock and think it’s too late, even though Lion’s been snoozing for a bit and sometimes that resets his ‘timer’.”

This explanation uses two reasons: The first is that I took a nap earlier. The second that a TV show was on. Mrs. Lion acknowledges that we can pause the TV at any time. She can also ask me if I’m in the mood after a nap. It doesn’t happen. I think that the real reason is that she is not interested. I’ve said it before, and I think it is true: Mrs. Lion considers sex for me as a chore. She likes to avoid chores (who doesn’t?). That’s why I think that I only get sexual attention after a week or so post-ejaculation.

This is a serious subject. It may not belong on our blog. I decided to write this post because I’m both sad and frustrated. I know from comments other men in my situation have made that it is common for sexual activity to cease when the wife loses interest. I’ve been lucky that I keep getting attention. It’s just that the attention becomes less and less frequent. Remember those restraints that Mrs. Lion wrote about? They’re still unused–just an example. By the way, she said she would make an appointment for Sunday sex. She hasn’t.

I tried to introduce the locking cock ring as a sort of reminder that sex is needed more than once every week or so. She locked it on, and it remained for five days without coming off. I developed a sore, and she removed it. I could go on and on. Didn’t a lioness mention instituting regular anal play? My point isn’t so much that she hasn’t followed through on any of this. It’s that distance is growing between us. The most obvious sign is a lack of intimacy. I’m discouraged, very discouraged. I’m considering not posting for a while.