I have been thinking about spanking. Oh, no! You too? I’m being silly. Spanking has been part of my life for over thirty years. Until I met Mrs. Lion, I gave and received spankings as part of BDSM scenes. Sometimes, it was part of foreplay. It was never tied to discipline, even as a pretend scene.
The thought of being spanked turns me on. I think it is a form of sexual vulnerability. That’s an amazing state to be in. From my conversations with others who like BDSM play, as a bottom, we all feel vulnerable. Often, we are physically restrained so we couldn’t escape if we wanted to. That’s really hot to me.
Some people argue that disciplinary spanking is the real basis for BDSM “play” spanking. I disagree. Until several years into my marriage with Mrs. Lion, that thought never crossed my mind. Our play spankings did a good job of setting the stage for domestic discipline, but we weren’t rehearsing. The play was something else.
I wanted disciplinary spankings because being held accountable offered a new dimension of vulnerability. I am spanked because I did something wrong. I have no choice but to accept the punishment. OK, before the legal beagles go nuts, yes, consent is involved. I want to lose the right to avoid punishment. OK? Moving on.
In the beginning, our domestic discipline was more like role-playing than actual punishment. Mrs. Lion made some rules that I was sure to break. If I broke one, she wasn’t affected. They were rules like not being allowed to spill food on my shirt or eating before she starts. They were trivial in one sense, but useful in another. Offenses were easy for her to spot. It was more of a game for her. She didn’t particularly like to spank me, but she knew it was part of the game.
It turned out that taking this light-hearted approach worked. We got used to the routine of our roles. Spanking me stopped bothering Mrs. Lion. She learned to treat it as an activity she wanted to perfect. I learned that I would be punished every time I broke a rule. My spankings became long and painful. The rules might be trivial, but the consequences of breaking them weren’t.
As we evolved, the tone of our domestic discipline changed. The rules covered behavior that mattered to Mrs. Lion. I am to set up the coffee pot for tomorrow’s breakfast before 5 PM every day. That’s obviously important because if I don’t do it, Mrs. Lion has to go to a lot of trouble first thing in the morning when she is sleepy and rushed to get ready for work. The second rule is that I have to make sure the sliding shower door is closed at all times. This is necessary because if it is open, the dog goes in and tracks mud in the wet shower and all over the floor.
These are obviously very useful rules. Breaking one of them has consequences. I’m punished every time I break one. Mrs. Lion prides herself in giving me a sore bottom that will hurt for days after she spanks me. Good workmanship! Sitting here with an unspanked bottom, I can say that I’m proud of her for getting this far. During a spanking, I wonder why I got myself into this.
When I first asked Mrs. Lion to discipline me, I had an important motive. Mrs. Lion is a very generous and accepting person. If I annoy her, she generally lets it slip even though her feelings might have been hurt. Over time, these petty annoyances build up, and she gets very angry. When she does, she won’t yell or let me know in a direct way. She’ll ignore me. That hurts my feelings and doesn’t make her feel better.
I realized that this had to change. I suggested that Mrs. Lion spank me every time I annoy her. She’s found this nearly impossible to do. I still have hope that she can do it eventually. In the meantime, we have “just because” spankings. If Mrs. Lion feels that too much time has gone by since my last spanking, or she feels that I annoyed her and she let it slide, she will give me a “just because” spanking.
When we started these, the thought was that it reset our focus on our domestic discipline. Mrs. Lion and I can start to forget our roles. A just because spanking generally fixes that. More recently, before she starts swatting me, she will tell me that on this or that occasion, I annoyed her. She seems to be using the just because spankings to punish me for upsetting her.
This makes a lot of sense. I think she has a problem with beating me for upsetting her. I think her sense of fairness interferes. She will rationalize that my behavior wasn’t all that bad and that she was just in a bad mood. It seems difficult for her to isolate and punish behavior that annoys her.
I think this is temporary. By using the just because spankings to cover more than resetting our roles, she is building up to punishing me for upsetting her without linking the spanking to a just because event. Speaking of which, it’s been fifteen days since my last spanking. That means a just because spanking is due soon.
|
|
