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In: Mrs Lion Comments

There’s not much going on around here. Lion slept late this morning. We were supposed to install some GPS software into the car this afternoon, but he fell asleep after lunch. I don’t know if he didn’t sleep well last night or what happened. I’ll be crashing around 10 tonight and he’ll be wide awake.

I’ve been tasked with finding a birthday present for myself. Well, I have to give Lion ideas. I don’t know what I want. I’m hard to shop for. I seldom narrow things down to one or two choices. Lion does research on things and he’ll know what he wants down to the serial number. I give vague clues like maybe a pillow or I don’t like my keyboard. Short of buying every pillow or keyboard to test them out, I’m very little help. He’d get me everything if I could just tell him what I want. I don’t mean to be so difficult. If I knew what I wanted I could buy it.

The bigger problem is that I don’t really care about my birthday. It’s just another day. My sister was ready to leave her entire family in Ohio one year because it was mid-afternoon, and no one had wished her a happy birthday. It’s not like I’m five and anxiously awaiting a new bike. I can’t think of a single thing that would be wonderful to have. I guess that’s the problem when you have everything you need. Although, a winning lottery ticket would be very nice.

I lost another pound this week. That’s despite giving in and having Chinese food for dinner last night. It’s not that Chinese food is fattening. It’s just that we tend to have way too big a serving. I might have lost more than a pound if it weren’t for the eggrolls and double-sized serving. And we have leftovers. We’ll probably eat them tonight, and we’ll be back on our way to slimming down again.

Lion didn’t mention anything about my new expectation of his using the treadmill. He’s been talking about doing it for a while. Of course, he waits until it’s piled high with boxes before he says anything. Once I declutter it, he never makes a move toward it. Now that he’s threatened with punishment, I wonder if that will change. I hope he doesn’t wait until Friday and Saturday to start. He’s well within his time limit if he does, but I hope he’ll be more proactive. [Lion — I certainly will.]

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In: Male Chastity

I have been thinking about changes in the way our kinks have evolved over the last decade. When we started this blog, most of the stuff people talked about in the male chastity sector was security. There was an endless debate about which devices could be escaped and which might let a man masturbate. The general tone was that we males were the unwilling victims of our cruel keyholders.

Over time, it seemed that more and more guys recognized that it was the male partner who asked to be locked up, not the unforgiving keyholder. Once that concept took hold, it was a small leap to realize that escape and cheating weren’t important topics. Why would you want to escape from something you asked to be locked in?

The discussion turned to more practical matters. We talked about comfort and fit. You couldn’t wear a male chastity device if it were painful. Devices had to fit correctly and comfortably. I tested many devices and reported on how they worked for me. For a device to get a good review, it had to fit properly. In my view, that meant the tip of my penis had to press firmly to the front of the device. The A-ring (cock and ball) had to be comfortable without the need for any lubricant, and the penis cage couldn’t irritate my sensitive skin.

Holy Trainer Nano on Lion's penis. Malechastityjournal.com
Holy Trainer Nano on my penis

Those standards implied that the penis cage had to be much shorter than we originally thought. Firm contact with the top of the cage is the only way to assure that the urethral opening is centered on the device. That’s critical to assure mess-free urination. Since the flaccid penis varies in length over the course of a day, the cage has to be short enough to compress it when it is in its I-just-got-out-of-cold-water “turtle” phase.

Holy Trainer Nub on Lion's penis
Holy Trainer Nub

It turns out that this compression is safe and comfortable. The dimension that has to be large enough is the cage diameter. It has be the same size as the actual flaccid penis. Squeezing too much there can cause edema. Apparently, my discovery wasn’t unique. Chastity device makers began releasing much shorter cages. Holy Trainer created the Nano model, which is 1.4 inches long (read our review). Next, they released the Nub model, which is just one inch long (read our review). The Nano was too long for me, and my penis wandered away from the pee opening. The Nano fit perfectly. It also turns out that most of us can comfortably wear a base ring (cock ring) sized at 45mm (1-3/4 inches). Once we stopped worrying about escape and focused on comfort, the base ring size became less important.

Evotion Orion on Lion's penis

Most of us started out with off-the-shelf male chastity devices like the Holy Trainer. They are less expensive than custom-made devices. Also, it makes sense to start with a cheaper device. It gives you a chance to play with male chastity and get a sense of what sizes you might want to adjust before you order a custom device. Custom male chastity devices generally cost more than $300. They are made to your exact measurements.

The earliest custom devices were made of stainless steel. Small shops in the US and Europe make them. Generally, there is at least a one-month wait from order to delivery. They are available in a wide variety of styles. More recently, 3D-printed male chastity devices have appeared. The makers create a computer design of the device and it is then printed by a 3D-Printer. Most are designed by the seller and actually printed by a commercial 3D-printing company. I’ve tried a few of these. Most have the rough finish that the 3D printers put out. I found that finish very irritating to my penis. One company, Evotion, makes a great 3D-printed device that is further processed to a very comfortable, smooth finish (read our review). I ended up wearing my Evotion Orion for quite a while.

cage-free male chastity

After over three years of being locked in a male chastity device, Mrs. Lion stopped locking me up. By that time, the continuous lockup changed my behavior. I completely stopped masturbating. To this day, it isn’t a sexual option I ever consider. Since Mrs. Lion is my only sexual outlet, I’m permanently practicing male chastity.

The pattern of tease and denial that we established over all those years is now just routine. Sexual stimulation from Mrs. Lion doesn’t imply an orgasm for me. I don’t expect one, and she doesn’t feel obligated to get me off. She decides when I should ejaculate. It’s so routine that we never even discuss it. I’m always grateful when she gets me off.

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In: Mrs Lion Comments
Lion on treadmill

Lion’s leg seems to be doing better. Perhaps I should be a little more cautious, but I think it’s time for him to start on the treadmill. Again, it’s only two days a week, and it’s up to him how long he can manage to walk each time. Starting Sunday, he can pick any two days until the following Saturday. He can’t decide to do Saturday of this week and Sunday of next week. Nope. It goes from Sunday to Saturday.

I don’t think he’s interrupted me lately. I know he doesn’t want a repeat visit to the spanking bench. He may be on his best behavior. Last night he said he still had some sore spots on his tush. Obviously, more swats would make it worse. He’s got to watch himself, at least until he can sit comfortably.

According to the whiteboard in the bedroom, it’s been five days since Lion’s last orgasm. He says he’s horny again. The problem is that I’ve been making up time at work because I left early for his appointment, and he’s been snoozing a lot. By the time I get around to giving him attention, it’s pretty late. I’m not saying he missed his chance because he snoozed. I’m going by his statements that sex is better earlier in the day/evening. If he wants to amend that and say sex later is possible if he’s had a good snooze, then we can certainly do that. Next week I should be back on a normal work schedule. Between that and the weekend, we should be able to get back on track.

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In: Domestic discipline

I recently received a lot of heat because I wrote that sexual fantasies often inspire men to ask to be spanked. The complaints centered around the idea that if sex is one of the reasons that men ask their wives to spank them, that means domestic discipline for them is a BDSM scene. Somehow the purity of domestic discipline is offended by tying sexual motivations to it.

I think I understand the reason I offended some. Domestic discipline is supposed to provide help and education to the men who receive it. That’s absolutely true for me. Since we started it, even when Mrs. Lion’s spankings were mild, my behavior changed if she consistently punished me when I offended. As she’s said, I learn if she spanks me when needed. I hate admitting that I need to be spanked to make me change, but it’s true. Mrs. Lion is convinced and is committed to expanding the use of her paddles to help me improve the way I relate to her and others.

I have a lifelong interest in being spanked. Thinking about it turns me on. It’s been that way for as long as I can remember. I can’t say how other guys came to domestic discipline, but for me, the bait is the arousal I feel when I think about being spanked/punished for breaking a rule. Does that make our domestic discipline merely a disguise for BDSM?

I don’t think it is. Mrs. Lion doesn’t think there is anything sexual about it and makes no attempt to feed into my sexual thoughts about spanking. In other words, she is happy that I willingly mount the spanking bench when she wants to punish me. She doesn’t care why I do it. Once I’m riding the bench, any sexual thoughts disappear almost immediately. She has me there to help me learn. Her job is to make the experience as unpleasant as possible. The more I dislike the experience, the better I learn. She knows this and has become very good at her task.

Here’s where the purists get unhappy with any generalizations I might make. I acknowledge the sexual origin of my interest in domestic discipline. They don’t like this assumption. They prefer to dwell on other aspects like what it might be like if others witness their spankings. They wonder if that would benefit them. I never gave that sort of thing any real thought. Mrs. Lion is a private person, and I’m sure she isn’t interested in sharing her disciplinary practices with others who she knows in other areas of her life. That’s not the point. What does it mean to want to be spanked in front of friends and relatives?

I’d argue that this is a sexual humiliation fantasy. It has nothing to do with the only transaction that domestic discipline is about. I think that the entire point of DD is behavior modification. Right? It isn’t about humiliation, substitute spankers, rituals, etc.  DD is negative reinforcement. We’ve learned that it works incredibly well for me. That’s why Mrs. Lion works hard to provide it.

That doesn’t mean all those other possibilities are wrong. Humiliation, arousal thinking about spanking, imagining scenarios with substitute spankers, and all that other stuff provide mental fodder that helps us accept a spanking docilely. Mrs. Lion doesn’t care what I think about DD. She is uninterested in erections that thoughts of spanking may give me. She cares about the positive effects that she can provoke by spanking me when needed. She’s observed the changes I make when she strictly enforces my rules.

That was the point I was trying to make when I talked about the sexual roots of spanking for many of us. A spanking for breaking a rule or misbehaving helps me avoid errors in the future. How I choose to think about it has no effect on that. I learn. I think it is silly to claim that sexual fantasies about spanking and punishment invalidate domestic discipline.

It doesn’t matter if we want to debate having our sister-in-law spank us or talk about getting an erection thinking about her doing it. All that matters is that our wives spank us when our behavior requires the application of her paddle. I imagine that Mrs. Lion is happy that I sometimes get aroused when I think about being spanked. She knows those thoughts help me accept painful punishment when I need it.