By:
In: Punishment
ferrule paddle on Lion's bare ass

Last night, I let Lion get warm for a few minutes after his shower. Then I set up the spanking bench and “invited” him to join me. He doesn’t have a choice, and he knows it. Asking him to take his position is just a formality.

This was his first real punishment in a while. I decided not to add time for breaking the spilling rule twice in two days. Instead, I was set on hitting harder. Ten minutes can seem like a lifetime if someone is whomping you with a paddle, especially if they are hard whomps.

I may have surprised him when I set the ten-minute timer. Of course, he knows I don’t have to stop then. I swat until I feel I’ve made my point. Sometimes I do it a little beyond making my point. In either case, he certainly knows he’s been punished.

The first few swats are always to wake his buns up. I don’t go full force right off the bat. He wouldn’t be able to handle that. He needs time to adjust. I don’t set the timer until I’ve gotten his attention. It’s best if he has the full ten minutes of harder swats.

Well, I think it’s best. He may disagree.

Spanking spoon on Lion's bare butt

I alternated between a bloodwood ferrule and a rubber strap in the beginning. Truth be told, it was mostly the ferrule. For the most part, they were slow swats. I didn’t do rapid-fire much. I threw in some hard swats now and then. About halfway through, there were more hard swats than not. Toward the end, I switched to the paddle shaped like a spoon. I think it has the best chance at causing memorable swats. I wasn’t necessarily trying to bruise him. I’ve given up on that goal. His hide is too tough. But he was bleeding quite a bit. It wasn’t splattering as it sometimes does, but I had to put the towel on the bed when I was done. I’d just changed the sheets, and I didn’t want him bleeding all over them.

I know he felt it last night. This morning he said it didn’t. Then he sat in his desk chair. That was a different story. When he moves, he feels sore spots. I haven’t checked his buns to see how they look. He recovers very quickly. I’m sure his pride will hurt longer than his butt.

By:
In: Domestic discipline

I hope your week is going well. I just finished updating our websites. It was one of those technical things that only has to be done when a major component of the system goes to a new version and support is ended for the old one. I put off the work as long as I could. Now things are where they need to be, and everything works.

My health is good despite the scary incident a couple of weeks ago. My MRI showed no evidence of a stroke or other damage. In fact, some “white matter” that had shown up two years ago is almost entirely gone now. The white matter is believed to be related to dementia. The amount I showed a couple of years ago wasn’t big enough to be worrisome. The fact that it’s gone now is mysterious. The neurologist has no explanation. There is a good chance that the incident that started all this was caused by dehydration due to my stomach problems at the time. Anyway, all is well.

starting our new domestic discipline phase

We have been talking about expanding DD to include behaviors that need correction. Mrs. Lion has given a lot of thought to one in particular: interrupting. In her post on Tuesday, “Clamming Up,” she talked about anticipating an interruption and pausing to let me talk. She wondered how that fit with strictly enforcing the no-interrupting rule. My thought is that if she finds herself pausing because she anticipates an interruption, that should count as me interrupting her. Her pause is a way she compensates for my rude behavior. Instead of calling me out for it, she graciously makes it seem like a natural pause in the conversation.

That’s a good example of the reasons why I haven’t been punished for interrupting or other behavioral problems. Mrs. Lion compensates rather than confronts me when I commit them.  Combine that with my saying that I wanted her to punish things that annoy her, and you get a very solid chance that I would never be punished.

Now that we have agreed that every infraction, including times when Mrs. Lion feels herself compensating, will be punished, enforcement won’t require any judgment calls. It’s all black and white just like my other more-trivial rules.

By:
In: Punishment, Rules

Lion spilled food on his shirt yesterday. I owed him a spanking, but I forgot. No problem. It was pushed to today. Maybe I should have done it when he reminded me last night. He spilled food again today. He would have had rare back-to-back punishments.

Did I have an inkling he was going to re-offend? No. I just forgot. I’m debating now whether to do the regular ten minutes or add five minutes because it’s two offenses. Assuming I remember, I’ll decide when I’m setting up the spanking bench.

This morning, I was trying to work out a schedule for Lion to use the treadmill. I didn’t want to make him do 30 minutes right off the bat, but I wasn’t sure what a good lead-up would be. He said he starts out slow and works his way up. I don’t need him running marathons. I just want him to do it.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask Lion to use the treadmill at least twice a week to start with. He can start out with one minute if he needs to. I know how difficult it is to get started. I’ll do my part by keeping the area around the treadmill free of boxes and other stuff. As he gets going, we can increase the number of days per week I expect out of him. I don’t think I’ll set a length of time. He’s a big boy. He can do as much or as little as he wants. However, if he consistently does as little as he wants, I may revisit this.

His leg has been bothering him so I don’t know when he’ll start, but once he does, he’ll need a good reason not to do his two days a week. I gave his leg a short massage, and he said it felt better. I think he just liked being touched. I’ll give him another one if it will help get him on the treadmill sooner.

By:
In: Domestic discipline
Lessons taught with the paddle are quickly learned.

After Mrs. Lion read my post yesterday (“Time For Her To Take A Stand“), she agreed that it would be difficult to enforce more serious rules. We didn’t have much time to talk about it. My sense is that it’s one thing to punish me for things that aren’t very important to either of us but another to enforce rules that represent real behavioral issues.

This must be why I am rarely punished for interrupting. I thought it was because she wanted to be fair and didn’t want to spank me because her general mood was bad. I see now that it’s something else. All of the rules she has enforced to date represent relatively small stuff: eating before she starts, spilling food, not setting up the coffee pot, and leaving the shower door open. None of those offenses challenge my role or judge me on a deeper level.

I can’t know how other couples operate beyond what I read in various blogs. I get the sense that disciplined husbands ask for domestic discipline in the context of behaviors that caused conflicts in the marriage. Things like drinking too much and behaving in ways that may have caused fights in the past. Domestic discipline is a way to resolve these problems without the heavy emotional pain that unresolved arguing causes. Above all, that spanking closes the book on the particular problem. Introducing spanking is a way to improve harmony.

Mrs. Lion and I don’t fight. We may have had a few disagreements, but they never rise to the level of angry arguments. That doesn’t mean I am a perfect husband. Mrs. Lion is a very forgiving wife and sees the good in me instead of focusing on my faults. I see her the same way. In that sense, domestic discipline isn’t strictly needed for our marriage.

We started it because I thought it would make a good thing better. Mrs. Lion never saw it that way. She agreed that it was something I wanted badly and saw no harm in enforcing some rules. It’s clear that she never considered it a relationship tool. That doesn’t mean she isn’t serious about it. She is absolutely consistent in punishing me when I break a rule. Her spankings are severe and absolutely no fun for me.

When I asked her to expand her disciplinary role to cover behaviors we both know aren’t good for me, she hasn’t said yes. It can’t be because she minds punishing me. She spanks me with impunity. She said it is her goal to make me hurt as much as possible for the duration of the spanking and to make it hurt for days afterward. She usually does. If it isn’t feelings about spanking me, it’s feelings about being in the position of correcting me outside of the rather trivial rules we already have.

correcting my behavior isn’t changing our marital roles

I suspect that she doesn’t want to be the boss. Escalating punishment to cover things like interrupting, being snippy, a know-it-all, or arrogant might be seen as giving her power she doesn’t want. I get it. I don’t think our roles change because she can punish me. Here’s why. We both agree that spanking is an effective way to get me to learn things. We’ve proven that over and over as I stop breaking rules, she’s made. I learn when she uses her paddles.

As I see it, extending the rules to consistently cover behavioral problems is no different than training me to close the shower door. My position in our marriage doesn’t change. I still make most of the decisions. All that changes is that she has a new set of opportunities to catch me and punish me. She likes catching me. I get the real benefit. If she is consistent, my behavior will change. I want that. Helping me change things we agree need modification isn’t making her my mommy. It just expands her role as my loving teacher. I’m still the lion; maybe a little sore, but still the same critter I was before I learned to be a better man.