Our weekend was busy. Family visited from the East Coast. It was nice to see them again. Neither of us has any attachments here in the West. It was amazingly nice to reconnect. Mrs. Lion didn’t bother hiding any of the evidence of our kinks. The Hers and His paddle stayed in its place on the refrigerator door. Miscellaneous paddles were visible around the house if they cared to look. We had breakfast with them in the kitchen both Saturday and Sunday. Their chairs faced the fridge.
I don’t know if Mrs. Lion even thought of looking for evidence. I thought about it and decided that it just didn’t matter. Is that a sign of maturity? I think it might be. We’ve been in a domestic discipline relationship for at least five years now. If asked why there was a paddle on the fridge, I don’t think I would be embarrassed to explain. I can’t speak for Mrs. Lion, but I suspect she probably would be equally comfortable answering.
It isn’t that we don’t realize that what we do isn’t exactly mainstream. I think that we are both comfortable with what we do. Sure, it would feel odd to hear a relative say, “You really spank Lion?” Mrs. Lion would certainly smile and reply, “Yes.” No explanation. No hesitation. Where te conversation would go from there would depend on the questioner.
From my perspective, I’m comfortable with my role. I don’t believe that my masculinity or standing in other people’s eyes is affected by the fact that my wife spanks me. I suppose that writing this blog has given me many opportunities to analyze and consider my role. Mrs. Lion and I have a very happy marriage. We are faithful to each other and have unwavering love and trust. She is mine as much as I’m hers. Contrary to a lot of what you might read about domestic discipline, the devotion and caring don’t just flow from me to her.
It turns out that a disciplinary relationship is more of a conversation than a one-way flow of offense and retribution. Her goal has never been to train me to submission and unhesitating obedience. That is BDSM and fantasy. Domestic discipline is the establishment of sensible behavioral rules and their enforcement. Mrs. Lion never suggested that she be the dictator in the Lions’ den. Yes, she always has the last word. I am free to run things as I please, so long as she agrees.
Anyone who spends time with us sees the love and balance we share. I never feel oppressed. So what if others know that she spanks me when needed? We both agree that it works for us. I don’t care if someone is narrow-minded and chooses to stop knowing us if they are offended.
We don’t exactly advertise (except here) what we do. The paddle on the fridge can easily be interpreted as a sort of feminist joke. It’s not there as a conversation starter. It’s there to remind me to watch my step.
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The coincidental timing of this post is downright freaky! We had an experience this past weekend that ended with a full outing to my cousin and her husband. The weird thing is I never can believe that people can visit us over and over and with the things we have out in the open, not figure out what we do, even if we never say it bluntly, and yet that seems to happen a lot.
So after a full day of food, drinks, and fun, the topic of me advocating that people with fantasies and desires be bold and share them before life passes them by came up and I voiced my opinion while being politely euphemistic as far as details. I figured there was no need to be specific since I assumed my cousin had likely long figured out how we live and my point was a general one and not just about DD. But as I spoke it became very apparent to my wife that our guests were becoming more and more confused, and she said so. I said I didn’t think so, but then they admitted my wife was right, and before you could say “bend over”, my wife just came out and bluntly told them we were a kinky couple.
My cousin seemed surprised and her husband grew interested. Long story short, Rosa and I both briefly but accurately explained our lifestyle, and we both then showed them the things so clearly out in the open that led me at least to think there was no way they could not have known.
Anyway, given your post I felt that it covered that same notion of having things out in the open and yet consistently having people NOT pick up on them, even when they seem pretty darned explicit. Me? If I was in someone’s home and saw your paddle or the things we have out, would figure things out instantly. Go figure.
What seems obvious to us is probably beyond comprehension to people who don’t think the same way. For example, pretty much every hokey roadside gift shop sells paddles painted with cute sayings like “Board of Education,” etc. People don’t buy them to use. They’re just novelty items like embroidered pillows. Without context, I suspect discovery is fairly remote.