I have noticed that writing posts in a blog is sometimes a sort of confessional. It’s anonymous and, therefore, safe to use to express our secrets. I wouldn’t be a sex blogger writing about all of my most intimate experiences if people I know could identify me. I don’t think it’s a matter of shame at the disgusting things I like–they aren’t disgusting at all. I feel that removing the cloak of secrecy crosses some sort of line that might shock them.
When I think about it, I realize that if someone finds my blog and reads it, they are expressing an interest in the sexual things I write about. They are unlikely to recoil in shock when they discover I get spanked. They may envy me instead.
Still, there is the matter of context. Years ago I ran for a position of leadership in a large BDSM organization. I was well-known to hundreds of members. We all understood the need for discretion. I was working as a management consultant and visited a client’s office. A member of the BDSM group worked there and recognized me. “Hi,” she said, “I voted for you.”
I was taken aback. I managed to thank her and get away as fast as I could. Later, when I thought about it, I realized my reaction was unnecessary. She didn’t out me. She simply acknowledged that we had some connection outside of work. It was the wrong place. It wasn’t, of course. It was my fear that revealing the BDSM side of my life would impact my professional standing.
I wasn’t doing anything illegal or immoral. I realized that wasn’t the point. In our society we hide our sexual behavior. It’s not polite to discuss what you do in bed. If the clothes come off, you don’t talk about what happens with casual friends or people in the office. At least, that’s true here in the US. Sure, everyone knows I have sex with my wife. They don’t know what we do.
In a way, that’s too bad. As those of us who have the ability to discuss intimate things here on the Net, have learned, sharing and learning from each other enriches our lives. I realize that most of our readers probably don’t practice male chastity or domestic discipline, but they are interested in it nonetheless. Mrs. Lion and I share thoughts here and profit from the feedback we give one another about our posts. It turns out that blogs have opend the door to many unusual sexual practices. I’ve learned a lot from fellow bloggers.
I’m not advocating revealing our identities. We are safer being anonymous. I am suggesting that blogs like ours are useful resources for people who may think they are alone with what they like. Isn’t that wonderful?
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