Spanking is probably the most popular kinky activity. Bondage is a close second. People who would recoil in horror at the thought of a BDSM party are perfectly happy spanking or being spanked. Study after study has shown that the vast majority of people have spanking dreams. How many actually do it is unknown.
I’ve been thinking about this. Adults who are spanked consensually–This lets out the religious domestic discipline people–almost always indicate that there are sexual feelings about being spanked. Died-in-the-wool domestic discipline guys occasionally admit that their sex lives improve after being spanked. When I think about Mrs. Lion spanking me, it turns me on. A small number of men maintain erections during their spankings. Many more of us are hard when the spanking begins but lose our boners once the action gets going.
Spanking turns me on; being spanked doesn’t. Is it the pain that turns me off? For a long time that was my thinking. If that were true, then CBT would make me soft too. It hurts to have clothespins applied to my cock and balls. IcyHot does not feel good on my balls, yet I stay hard through all of those painful activities. Thinking about CBT is hot, and so is thinking about being spanked. Why do I maintain a boner during CBT and lose it when being spanked?
At BDSM parties (I was the dungeon master for a large BDSM group), I’ve observed that almost all other men respond the same way as me. In over twenty years, I’ve only seen one guy who stays hard during a vigorous spanking. I haven’t seen any who get soft during CBT. In contrast, I haven’t seen many women who don’t get turned on during spankings. The female response makes more sense. Women who want to be spanked are turned on by the idea of a spanking and aroused while getting their butts beaten. Most guys who are turned on by the idea of being spanked are turned off during their beatings.
The weirdest part of this for me is that no matter how much I hate my most recent spanking, I’m still turned on thinking about being spanked. You’d think that if I hated being spanked, I wouldn’t be aroused later. Some women have theorized that this weird conflict is nature’s way of assuring that we will willingly bare our bottoms and get into position for a spanking. Maybe so. I’m turned on when I see Mrs. Lion prepare the spanking bench. I willingly mount it and let her strap me down. Once she gets going, I want to escape. Of course, I can’t. Wouldn’t you think I would learn and head for the hills next time she prepares the spanking bench? Nope. I meekly mount the bench. Maybe it really is nature’s way of assuring that I accept my spanking when Mrs. Lion wishes to give it to me. Being bigger and stronger doesn’t help if I am ineluctably drawn to accept something I will hate.
I find it even stranger that, even though I sexualize spanking, it’s effective in training me. My behavior changes if I’m consistently punished for doing something my lioness forbids. While our marriage is a partnership, I will change if she decides she wants me to change and punishes me when I don’t meet her expectations. The fact that I sexualize spanking doesn’t hurt its effectiveness as a training tool.
Most people who spank do it in the context of satisfying their partner’s request to be spanked. There is no disciplinary context. I know that Mrs. Lion has a very hard time with the idea of punishing me. She understands the value to me of a disciplinary marriage but can’t quite bring herself to punish me if I do something that annoys her. She is fine with spanking me if I fail to do a chore or break an explicit rule she has made. That’s more of a catch-and-spank game for her. It’s real punishment for me. That’s fine because it allows us to maintain spanking as part of our marriage. From my perspective, it would be much better if she also punished me for interrupting or annoying her. I would learn to avoid those behaviors.
I’ve noticed that other mammels are wired the same way. Males will almost never attack females. In researching lions, I’ve seen that a lioness will painfully bite a lion’s rump if he annoys her. He accepts the bite without retaliation. He doesn’t run away or try to intimidate her. He accepts the painful message. Sound familiar? I wonder if he sometimes gets confused by his meek accptance. It certainly confuses me. Nevertheless, next time I’m invited to mount the spanking bench, I will do so without complaint.
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