By:
In: Lion's Journal
Lions in Ngorongoro Crater, Tanzania. One of my favorite places on earth.

A few days ago, Mrs. Lion brought up a subject she thought would upset me. It was about death, my death. She’s quite a bit younger than me, and I guess she was thinking about my , inevitable demise. I don’t think too much about dying. It’s going to happen sooner or later. I’m not immortal. It’s almost certain that she will outlive me. No, I’m not sick nor am I aware of any reason I could croak soon. Still, it will happen. [Mrs. Lion — I was only thinking about it because when my friend’s stepfather died, she said they took some of his ashes and scattered them different places he loved. Up till then, I never thought about what to do with ashes. My father was cremated and buried in his cemetery plot. My mother was too. My sister had a coworker who carried her husband’s ashes around in her purse. Lion always jokes that I should put him in a big plastic bag and put him out with the trash. It doesn’t make any sense for either of us to have funerals. No one would come. Funerals are stupidly expensive anyway. Cremation makes the most sense. But what then? Do the ashes just “live” on the mantle? It just seemed fitting to take Lion back to some of the places he loves. I have no desire to go to Italy or Africa. So Lion will remain an American Lion after death. Assuming he goes first, of course. If I go first, I don’t care.]

The thing about dying is that it won’t matter to me when I go. I don’t believe in the afterlife, so when my heart stops, my brain shuts down, and I am no more. Mrs. Lion decided that she would cremate me. I’m OK with that since no one would visit my grave if she buried me. Funerals are expensive. We aren’t rich, and I would rather see Mrs. Lion conserve what savings we have.

The conversation she started was about where I might want some of my ashes spread. She knows I love Yellowstone and Disney World, so she figured they would be good places to start. I also love Greenwich Village, Venice, and Ngorongoro Crater in Tanzania. Other than New York City, she is unlikely to visit those other places.

Since I won’t know where my remains end up, spreading ashes is more of a tribute than anything else. It’s nice to think that part of me will end up in places I love. But, let’s face it, I won’t know the difference. While I’m alive, I do find the idea romantic. One thing I would really like is to see this blog survive me. That will be problematic. It costs money each month and Mrs. Lion would have to be sure the payments are made. The site itself needs occasional maintenance, and she’s never looked behind the technical curtain. I considered moving to Blogger, a free service run by Google. There would be no technical work required. To do that now would be a monumental task. There’s no way to migrate from WordPress to Blogger. Each post would have to be copied and republished. We have nearly 6,700 posts and over 50 pages of other content. Even if I managed to do that, the site wouldn’t be as pretty or accessible, and we would lose many features.

I’m pretty sure that maintaining our blog would be a very low priority for her. So, either it will be shut down for nonpayment or die of technical failure. I consider this blog to be one of my major successes, and I want it to survive. That means more to me than putting my ashes in places that I loved. Maybe one reason I want to get my novel published is to claim a small slice of immortality.

I realize that it’s silly to worry about that. It’s not like I will be looking down at the world and counting the blog’s pageviews. I will cease to exist, and my memory will fade from the minds of people who knew me. I realize that I’m a pebble dropped into the pond of life. I made a few small ripples that touched some others. I’m grateful for them.

As for the present, I’ll keep plugging along with my writing. I’ll be as loving as I can to my wonderful wife and partner. I’ll try to keep you posted on what’s happening in my life. If it turns out that I’m wrong and there is an afterlife, I’ll be sure to write some heavenly posts for the blog.

By:
In: Sex

One of our readers, Mr. Bill, commented that he and his wife are discovering that sex is more than orgasms. That was very good to learn. Since Mrs. Lion lost interest in orgasms for herself, I’ve felt guilty that my sexual needs had become just another chore for her. Sex was something I needed, and it was her job to provide it. I’m pretty sure that she never thought about it that way, but I couldn’t help believing that was how it was for her.

Whwn we finally tried fucking again, a light went on in my head. I realized that having an orgasm wasn’t top of mind for me. I loved being inside her. I know that she wanted me to come. That was her main reason for riding me. I sensed that she liked it too. It wasn’t about arousal for her. I think it was the loving connection we made. Neither of us is very physical. We aren’t touchy feely people. We like to kiss and hold hands, but we aren’t very demonstrative.

There is something incredibly intimate about vanilla sex. It’s the most personal thing people can do. That’s why stealing sex, rape, is such a serious crime. When two people in love fuck, there is a very deep connection. Sure, sex can also be recreational. Fucking can be fun with someone you don’t love. But when it is with your mate, it’s different. It isn’t just sex; it’s something more.

I’m realizing that the lifelong focus on orgasms I’ve had was a distraction from the more important, subtle value of sex. Even sex with a stranger helps fill a need for close contact. It’s hard for me to put into words. Women probably have an easier time with this concept. Female sexual arousal is linear. It slowly grows until orgasm is reached. That slow progression gives a lot of pleasure long before orgasm. Males get aroused quickly but plateau well below orgasm. When orgasm arrives, it is a quick peak of arousal followed by ejaculation and loss of excitement. The plateau we reach before orgasm is nice, but far from the intensity of those few dramatic seconds.

Since we hadn’t fucked in over six years, that first experience was a bit of a revelation for me. Yes, I wanted to orgasm inside my lioness. I’ll always want that. I was very happy not reaching the peak too. It felt so good to be connected with her. I hope she shared that feeling. I want more; a lot more.

By:
In: Sex, Uncategorized

It was like we never did it before. Here we were, an old married couple, trying to fuck. Mrs. Lion turned around with her butt facing me. She tried to get my cock inside her. I was well lubed, but she couldn’t seem to find the right position to let me in. We never had any problems before. I suggested she turn around and ride me cowgirl style. In the past, she would start in this position and stay that way until she had her fill of orgasms. Then, she would turn around and I would have my turn.

Riding me cowgirl style worked easily. We fit perfectly. Since Mrs. Lion didn’t want an orgasm, and this position doesn’t stimulate me enough to get off, we knew we had to make reverse cowgirl work. Encouraged by my cowgirl penetration, Mrs. Lion turned around again’; still no luck. What the hell?

She moved up a bit, and I reached under. Her vagina was a tight ring. I moved my cock under it and she eased down. Nope, I couldn’t get in. I joked that Mrs. Lion was a virgin again. In reverse cowgirl, I think she is.

We gave up and Mrs. Lion used her hand to give me a happy ending. I wondered if mating lion-style (doggy style to the rest of you), would work better. There are a couple of advantages in this position. My erection is firmer if I am standing. It has to do with bloood flow and blood pressure. Since erections are generated by blood pumping into the penis, low blood pressure makes for softer erections.

Also, my ED includes weakening the internal valve that keeps blood sealed into the erect penis. When I am on my back, the blood leakes back into my body and softens my dick. Ugh! When I stand, gravity is my friend, and the blood stays where it belongs. If we do it lion-style, I am standing behind Mrs. Lion. My cock stays harder, and I can control penetration. Ironically, we stopped using this position when I had my first symptoms of ED. I would penetrate her and then get soft.

Now, with the help of Edex, the situation is reversed. It’s harder to stay erect on my back and easier when I’m standing up. We haven’t tried fucking this way in a very long time. We’ll have to see if our parts line up correctly when I’m standing behind her. If this position fails, we can try good old missionary. Neither of us were fans of fucking that way.

Even though we didn’t succeed this time, it felt very good to try. That’s the nice thing about sex over fifty; it’s less about reaching the goal post and more about feeling close to each other.

By:
In: Sex

We are by no means virgins. I do tease Lion about having a virgin butt when he squirms so much during spanking and complains I’m hitting too hard. I suppose there are some ways we are virgins when it comes to trying different things. However, we have apparently reverted back to virgins as far as intercourse is concerned.

Oh, to be a fly on the wall. I can almost guarantee that fly would have fallen on the floor laughing watching us last night. Lion has the exact number, but it’s been years since we’ve had vaginal sex. I don’t care about sex anymore, so I don’t miss it. Lion misses it a lot. To say we’re out of practice is an understatement. [Lion — The last time we had vaginal sex was March 2018]

Lion did his Edex injection. I used my hand to get him more excited. Then I slathered on some lube, still using my hand. Once I thought he was excited enough, I attempted to mount him in reverse cowgirl style. Men often have trouble finding the right hole. This time it was me having trouble. After several tries, Lion suggested trying cowgirl. That worked. Reverse still didn’t after more tries. By that time, he was less than excited, so we gave up. I did give him a hand job that resulted in a less-than-fulfilling orgasm.

I don’t know why we couldn’t make reverse cowgirl work. I seemed too tight, and Lion teased me about being a virgin again. Maybe we need more practice. Lion is all for that. He’s also suggested doggie style. As I recall, that never worked very well because we had trouble with a height difference. But I guess we can give it a shot. It can’t possibly look more ridiculous than last night.