I have been online longer than I would like to remember. I’m an early adopter and dived into online chat when modems were horribly slow. I learned (the hard way) a lot. Over the years, I had many adventures both good and bad. Mostly, they were good. I met some interesting women and discovered my kinky side.
One of the most important and painful lessons of online communication is what I call the false image. If you are exchanging text with another person, there is a lot of missing information. You can’t see their face as they type. It’s easy to misinterpret what is said. But that’s not the dangerous part. Our minds tend to fill in the blanks when chatting online. We devlop pictures of of people that are more what we want them to be than who they actually are.
It’s very easy to fall in love online. Lonely people are vulnerable to building rich images of the people they meet in a chat room. It isn’t difficult to feel deeply touched by the words typed on the screen. People who fall in love this way define their infatuations fiercely. Some even create blogs to breathe life into these half-real loves.
I met Mrs. Lion online. I found her profile on a dating site. I loved her picture. It was a closeup of her smiling face. We exchanged messages on the site. She sounded great. I knew that the longer we went without physically meeting, the more likely we would build false images of one another; images we could never live up to. After only a day or so of messaging, we went to the phone and met three days after first contact.
It was the right thing to do. We didn’t have time to develop mental images of one another. We had just enough time to decide we wanted to meet and have sex. We met at a motel halfway between our homes. We were naked within ten minutes of meeting. Neither of us expected more than sex. It was why Mrs. Lion put her profile on the site. I wanted sex too.
Seems rather shallow, right? Maybe. It was all we wanted right then. I don’t think either of us wanted to have larger expectations. After all, it felt good to be so close to someone. We were both horny, and there was no pressure to fall in love or do anything more than give each other fun.
I’m still unsure what Mrs. Lion got from our first few meetings. For reasons I can’t remember, we agreed on anal sex for the first meeting. Mrs. Lion said she liked it. I was fine with it, too. We repeated that for the next two or three times we met. She didn’t have an orgasm any of those times. Obviously, she was happy with what we did. We branched out to more conventional sex and orgasms were had by all.
We met at least twice a week. At one point, she started coming to my house and we would spend a llot of non-sex time together. She had to leave each night to go to work. We never discussed it, but each of us was finding it harder and harder to say goodbye. We ended up living together. A year or two later (I’m horrible with dates), I asked her to marry me. It wasn’t because either of us felt a strong need to marry. Nothing was going to get between us. We both knew that. I felt that if we legally tied the knot, it would be easier to handle illness and legal matters. So, nineteen years ago we got married in a tiny village hall.
I am positive I did the right thing by making sure we met in person very soon after we started exchanging messages. Maybe it wouldn’t have made any difference if we corresponded for a long time. I suspect it wou ld have hurt if we did. There’s no doubt that we are perfect for each other. We are very happy campers over 20 years after I found her picture online.
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