It’s Alive Again!

Four days ago, I did a shot of Edex and had a very nice oral orgasm. Over the last few days, Mrs. Lion has been putting out panties for me to wear. I’ve been feeling rather frisky. I felt stirring between my legs. After Mrs. Lion finished work yesterday, I took 60mg of generic Viagra (3 20mg tabs). I was curious to see if it might work. I told Mrs. Lion we had to wait thirty minutes for the drug to work.

A half-hour later, Mrs. Lion went to work. I got hard! It was a full erection. Mrs. Lion jerked me off to orgasm. I didn’t produce any semen, but still… We were both surprised. It’s been over a year since I was able to get hard without injecting a boner drug.

I had morning wood this morning. That’s something that hasn’t happened in years.

What the hell?

I know that there is no organic reason why I had severe ED. My testosterone was tested and found to be well within normal levels. I have no prostate issues and no other organic issues. The urologist I’ve been seeing for the ED problem thought it might just be an aging issue: “manopause?”

It could also be psychological. That’s behind a lot of ED. There was no way to know. The evidence suggests that’s my problem. Am I suggesting that some deep-seated need to wear women’s underwear was behind my ED? I don’t think so. Cross-dressing has never appealed to me.

The answer might be just as simple as Mrs. Lion’s decision to exercise sexual control. It can’t be simple domination. She’s been spanking me consistently with no erection improvement. So what’s different now?

Part of it is that her (no prompting from me) decision to make me do something triggered sexual thinking for me. Spanking can alos work, but only if associated with a reason she invents. If I’m right, it’s not too complicated.

I’m surprised at my reaction to such a simple change. I started thinking back about what I wrote about over the years. Mrs. Lion has done a great job of most of what I suggested. Recently, there’s been a change. It’s subtle but very significant. Some of the activity has continued, but was limited to the action, not the underlying reason for doing it.

The easiest example is spanking. Mrs. Lion spanks me fairly regularly. She understands that it’s important to me. Is it the spanking that I need, or is it something else? Simply paddling me doesn’t get my motor running very well. It should. I’ve wanted it forever.  Could it be that expressing a desire to be spanked isn’t the real need?

I’m sure that it isn’t. That’s the problem. Mrs. Lion often follows my lead. I need spanking; she spanks me. Job done. Spanking is the obvious physical activity. Why would I want it? That’s the question she didn’t answer. I’m pretty sure that she knows, but for reasons of her own limited her participation to the obvious end game.

Spanking works for me only if there is a reason for it. She knows that. She refers to “punishing me.” Right! I need that more than just paddling. It’s a game that involves understanding what pushes my buttons and then building a little drama around it. Catching me doing something “wrong” and punishing me for it is what I need. Silently spanking me doesn’t touch that deeper need. Obviously, it’s harder to set the scene and follow through at punishment time. I get it, but that’s what works.

The same is true of sex. Why did I want my cock locked in a male chastity device? It was because I wanted to feel Mrs. Lion’s sexual control. Why is wearing panties exciting? Same reason. Waiting for me to ask for an orgasm and then giving me oral sex or a handjob doesn’t work. It’s providing the end activity without any surrounding scene setting.

All this stuff is my version of foreplay. It’s more than that. It’s what feeds my sexual and emotional health. I need it.

It isn’t all that easy to provide. It requires thought and planning. It takes time and consistent effort. I get that. It’s why professional dominants get paid so much. It isn’t their ablity to use toys. It’s the emotional environment they create for their clients. They determine what works for the client and then they provide it. If they fail, he won’t be coming back.

I’m not going anywhere. If Mrs. Lion doesn’t provide the environment that works for me, then we’ll be back to Edex. We may be back to it anyway, but I’ll have a lot more fun if she discovers what works and then follows through.

Listen to this post.