Lessons I Learned About Male Chastity

After many years of involvement with writing and reading about male chastity, I think I can say without much controversy that this is a male-initiated practice. There are a few exceptions. Thanks to blogs like ours, some dominant women have discovered chastity devices and locked their partners up. By and large, this is a male hobby.

Obviously, I’m a chastity fan. I’ve been reading about, testing, and ultimately wearing a chastity device for six years now. I’m still turned on by this practice. Over the years, I’ve written about my obsession with this. I’ve also read what others have said and tried to make some sense out of this irrational concept. Think about it. I get turned on thinking about wearing a device that denies me the ability to have any sexual pleasure. Further, I get turned on thinking about the fact that my keyholder, in my case Mrs. Lion, has the only key that will free my penis from its prison.

I get turned on thinking about not being able to get turned on. How crazy is that? That’s not my only perversion. I also get turned on thinking about receiving a spanking that I will hate from the first swat. Like other guys who share this interest, I enjoy reading about scenarios where a locked male is tormented by his keyholder.

Women don’t see male chastity the same way. Mrs. Lion enjoys looking at my uncaged penis. She also likes to play with it without having to use a key. She doesn’t see anything inherently erotic about locking me in a chastity device. I think you have to own a penis to understand why it’s exciting.

I imagine that women don’t spend a lot of time thinking about their partners’ junk. It’s different for us men. That little bit of skin dangling between our legs is the source of our most primal pleasure. It drives us to do amazingly stupid things sometimes. We spend entirely too much time talking about it. Nature programs us to be this way. So, from our point of view all those fantasies about tormenting us by keeping us locked in various scenarios make sense. These are stories with the penis as the hero.

There’s absolutely no reason to imagine that our partners find those fantasies hot at all. They may get turned on by seeing the way we react when they act them out with us, but there really isn’t anything inherently sexy about using our penises as a tool for control.

They may find it fun to see us frustrated. They may enjoy the way we allow ourselves to be controlled by their relationship with our penises. At the end of the day, all of these activities for them fit into the category of sex. At best, they consider all this activity to be scene based; another form of foreplay.

I’m not saying that there is an unbridgeable chasm between men and women when it comes to male chastity. I am saying that it’s unreasonable to expect a woman to react positively to the fantasies that drive us crazy about being locked in a chastity device. If you can’t build a bridge, how can you make male chastity work?

Mrs. Lion and I have successfully incorporated male chastity into our marriage. It isn’t at all the way the fantasies go. I imagined that she would use my ever-growing need for release as a way of controlling behavior. Those are really hot fantasies, aren’t they? Well, she didn’t bite when I made that kind of suggestion. I could see myself dripping with desire, being forced to wait extra days because I broke a rule. I did suggest that to her after I had been locked up for a while. She shot that idea down immediately.

Another highly unsuccessful fantasy is that the cage is used as a way to prevent compulsive, furtive masturbation. Guys will say that they can’t resist jerking off to porn or other visual stimuli. The only way to prevent this undesirable behavior is to lock up their penises. They also claim that they need very secure devices because their compulsion will drive them to escape. This is hot to a lot of people. None of them, I think, are women. Let’s face it, how desirable are you as a sex partner if you can’t keep it in your pants except when you’re with her?

A third fantasy says that locking the penis provides needed incentive to stimulate unselfish sex. The male contends that if he’s locked away, he will be anxious to provide endless oral sex and other female-satisfying fun. The implication is that he is unwilling to provide pleasure to his partner without the incentive of getting his penis unlocked for sex if he does a good job. How insulting is that? I am completely willing to do anything sexual that pleases my lioness. I don’t need my penis held for ransom in order to lick her to ecstasy over and over. What does that say about you if you propose that you need a cage to provide unselfish sex? Yuck!

You get the point. The hottest fantasies about male chastity have little-to-no appeal to your partner. Don’t despair. If you recognize that being locked in a chastity is for your pleasure, not hers, you can help her find ways to have fun with male chastity. In our case, Mrs. Lion gets most of her pleasure during those times when I’m unlocked and she is teasing me. She enjoys my frustration and finds it fun to see me humping air when she lets go just before I can ejaculate. She likes this. She also likes keeping me in suspense about when I will get to come again.

She doesn’t like associating any sexual activity with my behavior. Even though we are in a disciplinary relationship where I am severely punished for breaking rules, sexual activity is never part of the punishment. I admit that I still think it’s hot to use sex as a way to control me, but I realize that Mrs. Lion has plenty of other ways to do it. Yes, it would be fun to be led around by my penis, but if it doesn’t do anything for my lioness it will end up not being any fun for me as well.

We are both having fun with male chastity. I can say that I didn’t predict how we would have fun. We don’t live out any of the standard chastity fantasies. I’m very grateful that Mrs. Lion saw through my efforts to make the fantasies come true, and instead adopted male chastity and developed her own scenarios.