Our family decided to stay an extra day. We were delighted and had a great visit. We were so busy we didn’t have a chance to write posts. Mrs. Lion took Monday and Tuesday off. We slept in on Tuesday. I had a doctor’s appointment for an echocardiogram and interpretation. The results were mostly good. I have a partially blocked heart valve. The doctor said that nothing would be needed now, but could be in the future. She went on to say that a repair is non-surgical.
I was more than a little surprised. Apparently, they can replace most heart valves with a catheter running up a vein in my leg. She made it sound like a trivial, routine procedure. We watched an animated video that showed how it was done. Amazing! Well, it’s just a possibility. The current situation is only a partial block that isn’t giving me any trouble. Sometimes, I think that tests create more issues than they discover.
We haven’t done anything sexual since my orgasm eight days ago. I asked Mrs. Lion if she would like to try a boner injection tonight. She agreed. I’m worried that I’ll be unresponsive again. Mrs. Lion may be concerned, too. I’m glad she’s willing to try.
I’ve been writing a series of pieces for women to help them understand how to handle a request to dominate their partners. Sexual power exchanges are badly misunderstood by most people. When a guy reaches the point where he wants his partner to top him, he’s usually filled with fantasy scenarios. I think that when he tells his partner some of them, her worst fears about BDSM are realized.
There’s a big problem getting realistic information into the hands of the women who need it. Most are uninterested in reading blogs like ours. Mrs. Lion doesn’t particularly like reading the source material I offer her. If you’ve read the guides (How To Dominate Your Husband: Part 1 — Getting Started, How To Dominate Your Husband — Part 2: Acting Class, How To Dominate Your Husband — Part 3: Making It Hurt), you’ve seen that they don’t assume that the dominant woman is getting aroused by her role as top. That is a key value for women who read this guide. I think that we men often set the expectation that our partners are supposed to have fun and get turned on by topping us.
It’s great if they do, but neither of you should expect that. Topping is a service given to the bottom. Most tops (“doms” in Internet language) don’t get great pleasure from their actions as tops. When I was a top, I liked being able to top my partners skillfully. The activities didn’t usually arouse me, though having a moist, naked woman across my lap was arousing. My point is that topping can be fun. It can sometimes be arousing, but more often than not, it isn’t.
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First off, congratulations on finally achieving that o! (I neglected to say that on my last visit)
Next, I think blog guides are just as you say. It’s not that they’re not good advice, it’s that they go unseen by those who might benefit the most.
As for the act of Topping being arousing? Depends on the person (and their mood at the time). I have known several women who genuinely get/got off on it including my wife Rosa. My friend Nickki LOVES Topping me and has said so, but it isn’t sexual for her, just a very fun, adult mega-power trip. Plus it’s clear she likes being able to spank.
I agree with you that when I Topped it was fun and challenging but didn’t really excite me the way bottoming does. But that’s me.
I have wondered, (often openly) at how often people of both genders who are kinky at their core end up with vanilla, or semi-vanilla spouses? I just don’t understand it no matter how many times I’ve been given the ‘love’ answer. And so, while I admire your efforts with the guide for spouses, I myself would never attempt such a thing, even though I have experience and enjoy writing. My personal feelings on the issue are too militant and cold. I just think kinky people should discuss this beforehand so as to not end up with someone incompatible. It’s not fair to either party to have to live in a way they don’t enjoy……and a compromising spouse while absolutely admirable, is never going to be the same as someone on the same page who gets off on the same things.
The only complicating issue is when people tell me they didn’t know they were kinky until much later in life. I can’t relate to this but given the number of people who have claimed this, I suppose it is true. In those cases? I truly don’t know. I guess it’s ‘give it a try’ and see if there’s common ground sufficient enough for both parties to accept and go from there. I imagine people changing in some way later in life is why people divorce after 20 years. Couples can welcome the change, compromise around it, stay together even when unfulfilled, or go their separate ways.
I think being a fellow sufferer of ED resulted in my angrier, more militant outlook. We men with ED are made to feel that this thing that we had no role in bringing about is so important that drugs and other means are developed to offset so we can go on being the thing women want. In the past a spouse could sue someone for causing their partner to have ED, and still others were allowed to divorce over it. But, mention kink and it’s the reverse story. Nope! Not having it. There is no reason kink is any less valid than intercourse, or any reason one is to be elevated to the status of necessity. To me kink is MORE important than potency. And I will never concede a partner’s desire to be any more or less important than my own.
And the real interesting part, is that a guy with ED can’t help it. He has to rely on some means to correct it, not all of which work, and many of which have terrible side effects (Viagra gives me a migraine so painful I want to die). Meanwhile a kinky guy, especially one looking to bottom, just needs a spouse to be willing enough to hit him. No migraine. No drug. Just a willingness to accommodate. And yet a person who would refuse to do this is given support by our society that she is right in wanting a hard dick at any cost, and also right to turn down kink if she doesn’t want to try it. And the ironic part is that people don’t see this as blatantly hypocritical.
I don’t share your anger or feeling a loss of potency from ED. It was just an upsetting medical problem to be solved. Mrs. Lion doesn’t want sex for herself, so that wasn’t an issue. If it were, my tongue is good enough to satisfy a woman. My point is that ED isn’t a barrier to anything. Too bad about viagra. Did you try Cialis? If not, maybe it will work for you. Otherwise, there are the solutions I’ve been writing about that have worked for me.
I spent a lot of years watching people who searched for partners based on compatible kinks. Invariably, those relationships failed within a couple of years. Mrs. Lion wasn’t kinky at all when I met her. I resolved to give up spanking and other kinky stuff in exchange for a calm,loving partner. Mrs. Lion fit that bill in spades. After we had been seeing each other a short time, I told her that I liked to be spanked. She agreed to try. I was very lucky. I am absolutely sure that no matter how strong the need for kink, a lasting relationship needs a lot more vanilla stuff.
As for the has Virga some years ago not for ED but at the age of early 60s sopose my time will come plus been in chastity but my night erections still happening.
I commented to Lions first part to how to Dominate your man, we do our part in life bring up familys work hard and most are the tops in this relationship and when the family leave home Sex becomes more often couples explore more to kink and males roles as top to bottom can be more erotica and enjoyable. It’s hard for males to open up to their wifes about kink my 9th year in chastity and my Mrs was really not into at first we both started well but life changes and envolvement as to sexaul side was on hold ,as a couple of 42 years
Mrs has always been the vanilla one .
Mrs was agreeable to me been chasten it become of our lifestyle now .
My role has change in our sexaul life more bottom now ,we introduced Spanking to part of our sex life and we researched it and was hard for me to ask Mrs Its sexaul play more than DD as that was looking at more it may happen. Reading part two to how to Dominate your Husband now have introduced cuffs and ankle cuffs and hood Like lastnight got Mrs to put the hands cuffs on me and restraint chain on the ankle cuff this is the second time we have used these tools misus hood this time and had become less guilty in giving me a spanking (tender buns) this morning and her getting the colour to buns has improved to and we change the way for health reason too.
As member to other blogs i see more couples in theirs 40s up to late 60s change rolls from tops and bottoms. Like to thankyou Lioness and yourself Lion for great post reading the journal has help in teaching both of as
I’m glad that you are both finding ways to have more fun. Everyone is different. I have tender buns too. Mrs. Lion keeps a wet washcloth nearby to wipe away any blood. The bleeding isn’t serious and in my case, doesn’t mean I’m really injured.