Caged Lion

We’re hunkered down in our little house. I haven’t been out in over three weeks. I haven’t worn anything but a T-shirt, except for one day in a diaper, in all that time. Being naked at home didn’t mean I spent 24 hours a day bare-assed. Even though I work from home, we would go to the store or restaurant several days a week. Now I have no excuse to wear clothing below the waist. I need my T-shirt because I participate in videoconferences every day and I get cold.

Mrs. Lion has kept her word about sex. For the most part, there hasn’t been any BDSM. I’m a little surprised since we have nothing to distract us. I am generally finished with my working day before 3 PM. A lot of our toys, like our prickly jockstrap, can be worn while working. The reason I mention it is that Mrs. Lion took it out and put it on the bed. I asked her if she was going to use it. She said she would. It’s been at the foot of the bed for two days.

I’m not feeling neglected. I’m just wondering if more isn’t going on than I realize. It might be that Mrs. Lion doesn’t like BDSM play. She knows that I need a certain amount of it. I don’t think she dislikes it as much as she hasn’t figured out how to integrate it into her day-to-day life. This problem doesn’t just relate to playing. People all over the country are learning that working from home seems to make them less productive. I’m lucky in that I’ve been doing it for a while. New habits are needed with such a drastic change in lifestyle.

The trauma of these changes doesn’t just apply to work. Sex and other recreational activities are also affected. Mrs. Lion seems more comfortable doing sexual things as late in the day as possible. She knows that she’s agreed to try to do things earlier, so she has been starting at four or 5 PM. As far as I’m concerned, that’s fine. However, I imagine that more opportunities for BDSM play present themselves if the hours of activity are less restricted.

When we are on vacation, the only other time we have 24/7 time together, we generally have things to do during the day. We like to drive around and sightsee. So, the time for BDSM and sex, if anything, is even later than when we go to work during the day. I think we both have a sort of association with sexual things and darkness. We’ve always done that stuff at night. It’s time to start thinking out-of-the-box, or should I say darkness.

I asked for it. I let Mrs. Lion know that I like being teased. Now, she is much less likely to give me an orgasm even if I’ve been waiting for a long time. I’m pretty sure she won’t push me too far into the future. She likes making me ejaculate. On the other hand, she has considerable fun watching me humping air when she brings me right to the edge. She knows I love getting a blow job and has learned to effectively edge me with her mouth. That means I can’t assume that because she is using her mouth, she will let me come.

It’s important that she keeps me waiting. If she gets me off because I really want to ejaculate, I am effectively in control. If she demonstrates her authority by repeatedly edging me even though I’ve been waiting a long time, she is reinforcing a role.

What we do by practicing orgasm control is to turn what many people think is a natural instinctive activity into something that is consciously planned. It’s true that if we weren’t practicing male chastity, I might get more opportunities to ejaculate. There’s also a very good chance I wouldn’t.

Before we began all this, Mrs. Lion had lost interest in sex. It kind of tapered out over several years. As a result, I don’t think she thought about sex too much in terms of me. I had to hint very strongly in order to get her to jerk me off. I didn’t like that. I’ve always been terrible at initiating. I was even worse about asking for something just for me. As a result, she got me off about once a month. Even though she wasn’t aware of it, I took care of myself two or three times a week.

When I asked her to lock me up in a male chastity device, we made an agreement that she would do something sexual with me at least every other day. Of course, she did not agree to get me off every other day. All she agreed to do was tease me. I was told that I could never jerk off again. Mrs. Lion told me that it really bothered her that I could get myself off. Of course, it was easy for me to obey that requirement because she had me locked in a chastity device full-time. It only came off when she played with me.

In our case, by putting structure around something that people might think should be “natural”, we took care of a festering problem. Beginning enforced male chastity also improved our communication. When we also began a Female Led Relationship with Discipline, communication further improved on several levels.

The most important one, I think, was that Mrs. Lion was able to let me know how she felt and make sure I understood how I could make things better. As my disciplining wife, she had the duty to punish me when I did something I shouldn’t. In the beginning, this applied just to the rules she made. Later, as we both grew, I was also disciplined for annoying her or being rude to her.

I get spanked anytime Mrs. Lion feels I need it. The spanking is beneficial because it reinforces my desire to do what she wishes. But that’s not the real benefit. The real benefit is that Mrs. Lion has agreed to let me know anytime I do something that annoys her. This has been very difficult for her. She’s still working on being able to do this consistently.

Even though a lot of interest is expressed about our orgasm control and spanking, the real benefit is the way we’ve improved our communication. It’s interesting that this communication includes physical activity — edging and spanking — that assures we stay in close touch. There is much more to this than playing with my penis or swatting my bottom. I agree that those activities are things we like, but the real reason we keep them up year after year is that they help us get closer and grow.

Mrs. Lion commented in her post yesterday that if you want to see a man move fast tell him you’re going to give him a blow job. She’s right. When she told me to get into position, I didn’t waste a second. There’s no question about it, if we don’t have vaginal sex, oral sex is definitely my favorite. In fact, when we had vaginal sex I still liked oral better. Mrs. Lion is a virtuoso at it.

She often writes about her dilemma when deciding when to finally give me release. She’s right, sometimes I do complain if she gives me an orgasm too soon. How long should she make me wait? That’s a difficult question for both of us. Historically, my average wait over the last couple of years is just under seven days. We’ve gone through fairly long periods when it was just three or four days.

Recently, she hasn’t been able to get me very close to the edge some of the time. This is usually the first five or six days after I ejaculate. Sometimes, it takes her at least a week. I have no idea why I respond that way. There’s no obvious explanation. Even oral sex won’t get me up there. When I’m finally able to get to the edge or beyond, we both have a lot more fun.

Sunday was the magic day when I could reach the top of the curve. This is the time when Mrs. Lion frets about what to do next. I certainly get frustrated after repeated edging. I don’t believe that’s a good reason to take me out of my misery. I also don’t think there’s a formula to apply to decide when I finally get to ejaculate. From my perspective, as long as she’s willing to put in the effort, teasing me for days and days after I finally get that ability to reach the edge is a lot of fun for me. Before I get to that tipping point, I’m not all that interested in getting off. However, I really love the attention.

BDSM activities are a real aphrodisiac for me. We’ve learned that even though I like them, the clock that controls when I can reach the edge doesn’t seem to change even if we play. It does improve my general happiness even if it doesn’t make me want to ejaculate.

Sexual stimulation for me seems to be in two phases, well three if you count my refractory period. After the refractory period passes, stimulation gets me erect and I enjoy being masturbated. At some point during the stimulation, I lose the erection and my interest in being stimulated. This is a very frustrating phase for me. How long this phase lasts is variable. Sometimes, by the third day, I can be edged without a problem. Other times, like this past week I wasn’t able to reach the edge until the eighth day.

We haven’t tested whether BDSM activities change the day I can be edged. It might. The thing is, we need to acknowledge that I have this pre-edging phase and make the best of it. It is fun for me. I love the attention. I just need to accept the fact that every time I’m sexually stimulated I may not get all the way to the edge of orgasm. I know that Mrs. Lion accepts it, now I have to.

She’s right when she says that I’m not broken. I don’t have any idea why I do this, but apparently this is the way my body works now. Obviously, I would prefer to be orgasmic right from the day after I have my ejaculation. I’m grateful that Mrs. Lion can make me hard and is willing to stimulate me without the incentive of frustrating me.

I like the frustration. I’ve learned to love the way it feels to be brought to the edge over and over and then left hanging. Is this sexual masochism? Perhaps. Whatever it is, after more than six years of it, I consider this perfectly normal and what I really like. I may get tired of hand jobs but I don’t ever tire of Mrs. Lion’s wonderful sexual attention.

There are surprisingly few differences between the way we live in our self-imposed quarantine from the COVID-19 and the way we live when we can travel freely. A good part of the reason is that we aren’t very social critters. We tend to keep to ourselves except at work. Since I work from home, I’m just plain solitary.

The one thing we haven’t figured out, you would think would be the easiest: when and how to do sexual/BDSM things. Since there is no pressure to meet any particular schedule, I think it would be pretty simple for Mrs. Lion to just set aside a little time for fun and games. The opposite seems to be true. Something appears to be in the way almost all the time. We’ve had less activity in the last week then we have even in the busiest of times when we could go out.

I can’t figure it out. I’ve mentioned, hinted that it would be nice to do something. Mrs. Lion hasn’t risen to the bait. The other day when I forgot to set up the coffee pot she was very good about promptly spanking me. I’m very grateful for that. Consistent discipline works best for me. Less important, of course, consistent sexual activity also works very well for me. The reason it does isn’t that I’m greedy for sexual stimulation; well, I am greedy for that. The real reason is that it keeps the right hormones flowing.

Sexual activity, like any other regular part of life, benefits from routine. I don’t mean that at the same time every day Mrs. Lion masturbates me. I mean that at varying times different things happen. The reason this is useful as opposed to just pleasant is that it provides us both with a very exciting and intimate form of connection. It prevents us from withdrawing too much into ourselves. Mrs. Lion, more than me, is very easily drawn into solitary activities. Regular interaction helps counter that.

Sex for us doesn’t mean anyone’s going to have an orgasm. Mrs. Lion doesn’t want them and I’m only allowed to have them when she decides I should get them. That doesn’t mean we can’t do lots of sexual things. She enjoys edging me. I love it when she does. She appears to enjoy cock and ball torture (CBT). I’m not sure that I actually “enjoy” it, but I do like that she does it to me. Truth be told, I generally have an erection while she’s inflicting painful stimulation.

I’m not sure how she feels about anal activity. I like it the same way I like spanking. It’s very hot to think about, not so hot while it’s going on. Anal has a nice benefit: I can be trained to accept larger insertables as well as learning to tolerate pegging. Mrs. Lion appears to enjoy pegging me.

We don’t normally interact a lot. Mrs. Lion plays games on her iPad or computer and I watch TV. I think we both benefit from more intimate contact. Do we have to schedule “sex time” every day? Does Mrs. Lion need to find more reasons to spank me? Needless to say, I would prefer the sex time to additional spankings. However, which is going to happen is purely up to Mrs. Lion. I believe that we need to do something.