Author: Caged Lion

Sometimes I’m not too bright. For example, on Saturday morning I remembered it was punishment day. Mrs. Lion wasn’t in the room at the time so I figured I would wait and tell her when I saw her. I didn’t. It completely slipped my mind. You’d think I would remember because I know very well what happens when I forget.

When I did remember, it crossed my mind not to tell her because I sort of wanted a spanking. I quickly decided that was not a good thing to do because it felt dishonest. Maybe my unconscious mind made me forget. My very conscious bottom pays the price. You might also argue that Mrs. Lion planned to spank me anyway. She wants more practice working in the “crack”. That idea sort of excites me too. I would much rather receive a maintenance or practice spanking than a punishment one.

Yesterday morning I was thinking about how I would react to our blog if I had never considered a Female Led Relationship with Discipline or, for that matter, enforced male chastity. Both concepts are pretty strange. Then I started thinking about why I would consider them strange. Then it came to me.

The obvious reason is that I am subjecting myself to a loss of pleasure (orgasms) and painful punishments. This is happening in the context of marriage, an institution where two equals are bound together for life. Wait a minute! Two equals?

If you go by the situation comedies that were on television when I was a kid, husbands were the nominal heads of the household. However, the real intelligence and authority came from the wives. Husbands, think Ricky Ricardo, were constantly outsmarted by their cute “little” wives.

My parents seem to have no clear idea of who was in charge. When it suited her, my mother would tell me that my father would speak to me when I did something wrong. Neither of them ever spanked me. Otherwise, she seemed to do exactly what she pleased regardless of what my father thought about her activities or spending. Apparently, (I don’t remember this but the housekeepers who raised me told me) my parents would have long, loud fights. These fights had no resolution other than my father going off and drinking.

There was no real structure. My mom worked and had her own money. My father worked more and paid most of the bills. Absent was any real affection between them. They were horrible role models for my future.

This lack of tradition left me free to decide for myself what might work in my life. My first wife was, for want of a better word, submissive. She let me make any decision I cared for. I think a better explanation is that she left me to deal with the things that mattered. She was free to pursue her career and, after we had kids, become a doting mother.

We had a good sex life. It was absolutely vanilla; well we did have anal sex once in a while. There was no kink. I wanted to be spanked and once I asked her if she would. In a flat, unemotional way, she said, “No.” That was that. I guess it was this event that made me realize there was a lot more wrong with our marriage that I wanted to admit.

Mrs. Lion, as you know, has no problem spanking me. She did in the beginning but overcame that hurdle. I suppose that is strange. What can I tell you? Much, more importantly, is the dynamic we share.

In no way is Mrs. Lion a femdom. She’s an easy-going, wonderfully sweet woman. I never really wanted a classic dominant woman. My submissive desires are pretty limited. I like that she controls if and when I will get an orgasm and I like that she spanks me. I really don’t think that’s a big deal. Some people may consider it odd, but it’s harmless.

The much more significant change is the way the power dynamic evolves in our relationship. We are partners and we do pretty much everything together. From the beginning, she has deferred to me. This isn’t a problem for me, but I think that it could ultimately hurt our relationship.

Now we’re getting to what many people will believe is strange. In fact, I think that most of the people who enjoy male chastity will find this next part really odd. Instead of the BDSM, femdom sort of female authority (something I really don’t like), we are evolving into a true female-led marriage. It’s nothing like most people think about when they hear this expression. In fact, is very close to the way real lions relate to one another.

The females defer to the male almost all of the time. They let him eat first and have his way with the pride, up to a point. When he does something one of them doesn’t like, he gets a very painful bite on the rear end as a reminder that his authority only extends as far as the lionesses allow.

It’s the same dynamic we have in our marriage. Mrs. Lion is happy to go along with what I want until she isn’t. Then I learn of her displeasure via a painful punishment spanking.

Developing this dynamic hasn’t been easy for her. She has a strong sense of fairness. She doesn’t like the idea that she should punish me for something I didn’t know was wrong. This concept comes from raising children. It’s unfair to punish children if they don’t know they’ve done something they shouldn’t. I’ve argued it isn’t the same with adults. Adults should know better.

In vanilla marriages, dissatisfaction with the behavior of one mate may seem to be overlooked. Sooner or later as things accumulate, destructive behaviors emerge that can destroy the marriage. I felt this was particularly dangerous in Mrs. Lion and my marriage. Even though we both work hard to make each other happy, I’ve done things that upset her. Her typical reaction was to ignore my transgression and move on. Eventually, her anger would build up and she would give me the silent treatment. That’s particularly difficult for me to handle. I have a strong fear of rejection.

The solution is the FLRD we have now. The idea is that if I do something that displeases her, I get punished. Mrs. Lion prefers to spank me for punishment. She’s learning that it doesn’t matter if I have a rule for the behavior she doesn’t like or not. All that matters is that I’ve done something that displeases her. My punishment is an expression of her displeasure. Simple, right?

Yes, I have explicit rules I have to follow. More importantly, I will learn when Mrs. Lion is displeased with my behavior. She may growl at me. In fact, until very recently, that was all she would do. Now, she will growl and then at her earliest convenience, punish me.

I like this change. I don’t like the discomfort of the spanking. I really like that she lets me know in no uncertain terms when I’ve done something she doesn’t like. Since I don’t like having a sore bottom, I should quickly learn how to avoid repeating that behavior. Even if I do like a sore bottom, eventually enough is enough. One way or another, she gets to let me know and I learn to avoid repeating the error.

It’s not complicated. There are no BDSM rituals; just my bare bottom and her paddle. It’s always the same. Sometimes, the spanking will be longer and more severe. Generally, Mrs. Lion reserves those extra unpleasant sessions to things that she particularly dislikes or for things I can’t seem to learn. Forgetting Saturday punishment day appears to be one of those. Eventually, I will learn.

I don’t think it’s particularly strange or crazy. It represents a treaty between us. It’s an agreement that allows us to resolve the sort of emotionally loaded issues that hurt other relationships. It’s not dangerous. It almost certainly isn’t your cup of tea. It’s ours. I hope you understand.

I can’t remember when I didn’t want to be spanked. Thinking about it made me hard even before I understood what that meant. It wasn’t that I wanted to feel the pain. I never even considered that it might hurt. It was more about being exposed and vulnerable. It’s still a good part of my interest in the subject. Of course, I now know it hurts quite a bit. I also know that it’s a very important component of our marriage. To my surprise, Mrs. Lion knows that too. As I wrote before, we only learned this when we had to suspend activity due to my illness. We both missed it.

Another new thing I’ve learned is that there is much more to spanking than getting my bottom hit. I have to admit that surprised me. I had been spanking women for 20 years before I became the object of the paddle. I was told that I was very effective. I knew where to hit and how hard. The feedback I received from the ladies I spanked was generally sexual excitement.

Now that I’m the target, I’m learning that there are subtle differences Mrs. Lion can evoke. The obvious one is the way different instruments feel. That was never a surprise. Some paddles sting like hell, others are thuddy. All hurt when she wants them to. I’ve also learned that when she focuses her attention on the outer areas of my cheeks (farthest from the crack) it is much more painful than when she hits in the center. I’ve just learned that there is a new, more intense sensation when she uses her hand to spread my cheeks and spanks in the tender area between them.

When I was a spanker I never considered this area. I only learned of it when I read a post by Julie in her blog She wrote that she spreads her husband’s cheeks or has her husband spread them for her and then she applies a paddle or strap not only to the tender skin protected by his crack but also to his anal area as well. She says that it makes later insertion of dildos more “interesting” for him.

I told Mrs. Lion about this and she tried it. As she often does, she puts her own spin on it. She uses one hand to pull back my cheek and the other to paddle. She starts right above my balls. That tender little area of flesh gets a lot of attention before she moves up. So far, she hasn’t used anything to spank the anal area. I suspect the paddle would be too wide to reach it.

On Friday we exchanged emails discussing this subject. No, we didn’t talk about spanking my anus; we talked about implements the might do a better job in that small area that seems so terribly sensitive. I sent her some links to smaller paddles. She commented that we have some implements that might do the job. One is a narrow rubber slapper. It’s a paddle handle with a one-inch wide piece of heavy conveyor belt fabric attached. This rubber fabric is heavy and very dense. She said it’s in the camper. I suspect she will be making a trip out there this weekend.

I may need to buy her a special gift. I suspect that even the conveyor belt slapper is too wide. She may want a short, narrow-tipped riding crop. This will certainly do an excellent job. Let’s face it, I’m a gadget freak. I enjoy solving problems, even if the problem being solved means more pain for me. A crop has a couple of nice advantages: First, it has two striking surfaces, the slapper at the end and the hard shaft that supports it. I’ve used both in my career as a top. I used this sort of slapper for administering pussy spankings. It’s especially effective if my bottom holds her pussy wide open so I can reach all those nice tender spots inside.

I asked Mrs. Lion if she would like me to hold my crack open for her. She said no, not for now. She thinks it might be too awkward for me. I’m not going to push the point.

This new-for-me spanking area can be used by itself as an effective punishment. Or, it can just expand Mrs. Lion’s sensation vistas. She knows it’s effective. I can’t help myself and I yelled loudly when she spanks me there. I have no idea how it will feel when she starts hitting around my anus.

There are a few things that we don’t usually talk about in our posts. I suppose they are potentially sensitive areas. One that I almost never mention is how I get to ejaculate. Mrs. Lion lost interest in sex for herself some years ago. She can still have orgasms but doesn’t really care for them. (I’ll never really understand that) As a result, any sex I get is purely for me.

Most of my sexual activity does not result in ejaculation. Mrs. Lion teases me until I’m just ready to come. Then she stops. Invariably she does this with her hand. When she does decide to let me ejaculate 75% of the time she uses her hand the same way she does when she teases me. The other 25% represent oral sex. In 2019 that was 16 oral orgasms. All the rest of my sexual activity was provided by Mrs. Lion’s hand. She’s very good at it. The last time we had vaginal sex was in April 2018.

There are good reasons for this trend. For one thing, it’s a lot easier for Mrs. Lion to jerk me off then to get her body into position to suck or fuck me. I know she likes to have me in her mouth, it’s just more difficult for her. A more subtle nuance is that none of my orgasms have been generated by anything I do. A year or two ago Mrs. Lion let me hump her hand until I came. She’s let me do that again since then but always takes over the motion herself after a while. I think it’s fun to get to hump.

mrs lion makes lion ejaculate
75% of my orgasms are at Mrs. Lion’s hand. That’s really us when I still had my frenum piercing.

Sex for me is always with me lying on my back, legs wide apart. I’m not sure I could come in any other position at this point. When Mrs. Lion uses her mouth, I generally bring my knees up to give her more room between my legs. It’s a very female position. I suppose it’s an inevitable sex-role reversal. I never gave it a lot of thought when we first started male chastity. But it makes perfect sense. If I surrender all sexual control, by definition I am the “passive” partner. My sexual stimulation is 100% dependent on Mrs. Lion.

We have a couple of male sex toys that so far have not been very successful. Of course, we’ve only tried each of them once. We have a couple of Fleshlights. I only tried one of them for a brief time. We have a Lelo F1 vibrating sleeve, and an Autoblow ai. That looks promising but we only gave it one brief try. The only sex toy that has been successful getting me off is the Magic Wand. Mrs. Lion can use it to edge me and, if she wants, make me squirt.

I don’t think any of the changes I’ve discussed were conscious choices on her part. They evolved out of a need for convenience and comfort. I don’t get a choice. Since that’s the case, it’s very much a “beggars can’t be choosers” situation. Mrs. Lion does let me decide whether or not she uses lube when she masturbates me. Generally, I prefer her dry hand.

magic wand on lion's penis
When Mrs.Lion uses the Magic wand here, she almost always gets juicy results.

Since the process of edging or getting me off is very one-way, it sometimes becomes almost mechanical. At least that’s how it feels to me. Mrs. Lion almost never tickles my balls or puts a finger in my ass while she stimulates me. She’s never asked me to get on my knees so she can “milk” me. And, as I said before it’s been years since I’ve been allowed to hump myself to glory or at least to the edge when she let’s go.

I know she’ll never let me use my own hand. I wonder if she thinks that allowing me to hump her hand is too close to letting me jerk off. It would be fair to make that assumption. I can accept that. It might also be fun to hump her lubed hand. I’m not sure I will like it as well as her dry hand, but I certainly would enjoy trying.

This post represents a tricky kind of topic. It’s almost rude of me to ask for sexual activities. I should just feel lucky that I get any sex at all. Make no mistake, I do. Now that we are in our seventh year of enforced male chastity, I’m beginning to realize that maybe it’s fair for me to ask for more variety. It’s also perfectly fair of Mrs. Lion to tell me that I’m lucky to get whatever she chooses to give me. She would be absolutely right.

In other news
I was spanked Thursday night for interrupting Mrs. Lion on Wednesday. It was a very different spanking than any I’ve gotten before. Mrs. Lion brought out her small, nasty blue silicone paddle. She focused my entire spanking on the tender area between my cheeks. She started by spreading my upper thighs and working both sides of my lower crack. Then she spread my cheeks further up and continued her assault.

At first, it was exciting. Her warm-up swats weren’t painful enough to keep me from beginning to get hard. When she started her second trip from the bottom of my crack upward, the swats were much harder and I was yelping loudly. When she finished, she commented that she got a nice red color. It was burning between my buns. That area is extremely tender.

I think she pulled her punches a bit this first time. There are no bruises and I can’t feel it the day after. I’m very sure that next time she won’t be so gentle. It feels very vulnerable when she pulls my cheeks apart and spanks me in that virgin territory. I know that she has focused some of her attention between my cheeks in the past. She never made it the theme of my entire spanking. I wonder how she feels about it.

The reason I’m sure the future inside spankings will be harder is that it takes a while for her to work out exactly how much force to apply and where the best place to aim is. I wouldn’t be surprised if I don’t get maintenance inside spanking in the next day or so. She needs to zero in on just what will make it most miserable for me.

Yesterday, Mrs. Lion wrote her post about what she considers a failing of hers. I interrupted her and she told me at the time that I did it. That, in itself, is a gigantic step forward for her. It’s been hard for her to consciously recognize and point out things I do that annoy her. A little later, I asked her if I was going to be spanked for interrupting her. She said I would.

The reason I asked was that her initial reaction to my interruption was very mild and casual. I didn’t expect her to scream at me in indignation. I wasn’t sure at the time what her citation meant. It seemed very mild and unannoyed. I asked her to let me know if I had committed a spankable offense. I was genuinely confused. Yes, I know that interrupting earns me a spanking. However, more often than not, Mrs. Lion overlooks the punishment.

For the record, I’m very glad she didn’t. I know that I need consistent enforcement. In her post yesterday, I was a little confused by some of the things she said. She seemed to be saying that I had a maintenance spanking coming, so instead of giving me that, she would punish me. I think I understand what she meant. But it bothers me. Is spanking me for interrupting her no more than a maintenance spanking with a name to it?

Maybe I’m being oversensitive. She also said that I would be punished if I felt up to it. Now I can understand delaying a maintenance spanking. After all, it’s just a form of disciplinary exercise. Its intention is to keep us in practice. The punishment, however, is intended to teach me a lesson. Short of a serious illness or injury, I would imagine that a punishment should be administered as soon after the offense as possible.

Wednesday night would not have been a good time to do that. Even though I interrupted her then, I was in considerable pain from a particularly vigorous physical therapy session as well as almost 3 hours of dental work. As you probably know, I write this post the day before you read it. It’s now Thursday afternoon. I wouldn’t expect to be excused from a spanking tonight unless something much more serious than leftover dental pain was bothering me.

I’m bringing this up because I believe that there is a more important subtext. Had I spilled food on my shirt I’m pretty sure Mrs. Lion would have given me that knowing smile and would’ve let me know that I would be spanked the next day. I don’t think that Mrs. Lion has a problem remembering to tell me an offense is spankable. I think the real issue is that she’s having trouble accepting the fact that behavior that annoys her should be punished at all.

I realize this is very hard for her to do. Just spanking me at was an extremely difficult undertaking for her. Unlike the spanking fantasies, she’s had to work very hard to get to the point that she can punish me with a paddle. I imagine it’s even more challenging to accept the fact that she owes herself and me a strong reaction to the behavior she doesn’t like.

I get that. Punishing me for spilling food or forgetting to remind her about punishment days, or forgetting a chore is almost like a BDSM game. We have agreed rules and I pay a penalty if I break one. When we get into the much murkier territory of her feelings and potentially disrespectful behavior, there’s a lot more going on.

She’s had a lifetime of training to remain silent when someone interrupts her or otherwise disrespects her. On the occasions when she has let me know it’s been in the form of a sort of passive-aggressive response. She would become quiet and essentially ignore me. It’s a giant step to go from that sort of response to actively identifying the cause of her irritation and not only labeling it but punishing it.

Obviously, I don’t expect her to fly into a rage. However, I think she needs to realize that she’s fully entitled to be angry at me and to express her negative feelings with her paddle. I don’t expect her to use me as a punching bag; that’s not the point. I do expect her to let me know I upset her and as soon as practically possible use her paddle to underline her displeasure with me.

I recognize this is tricky. Mrs. Lion and I are first and foremost partners and mates. It’s difficult to figure out how if she is my partner, she is expected to punish me. I believe she has the right to expect me to maintain respect for her at all times. Interrupting her or overriding what she’s talking about is disrespectful. I need her to respond to this sort of behavior immediately and painfully. I am not only consenting to her doing this I am asking for her to help me this way.

Interestingly, an area that a lot of people consider more challenging seems easy for us. Our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD) puts her in clear charge. I have agreed to obey her. Other than forgetting to do something she is told me to do, I can’t think of a single time that I had to be punished for disobedience. I’m sure it will come up sooner or later and when it does I hope Mrs. Lion will promptly use her paddle to remind me of my agreement with her.

I don’t know if this makes sense to anyone else. I just know that the more consistent Mrs. Lion is in demanding my respectful, obedience the happier I am. I’m not excited about being spanked tonight. I wasn’t particularly happy about a maintenance spanking either. Truth be told, Mrs. Lion’s maintenance spankings are considerably milder than when she punishes me.

I’m convinced that the more consistent she is the better we will both be. I recognize that by saying this she will understand that I actually want a stricter lioness. I suppose I do. Well I can say is that I am very happy she caught me interrupting her and is going to punish me as we agreed she would. I need to pay more attention to what she is saying.