Caged Lion (Page 2)

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I think that something is wrong. Mrs. Lion has been writing about how she would use some of her free time to play during the day. She also talked about taking care of some things here at the house. After Wednesday’s diaper assignment and handjob (Not to orgasm, of course.), nothing sexual has happened. When it was too late last night, I asked her if something was going on. She said she just didn’t feel like it. I can understand that on one level, but on another more significant level, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.

For years sexual attention to me has been absolutely one-sided. Mrs. Lion just isn’t interested in sex for herself. I suppose I am her favorite charity. She’s been extremely kind and has been a wonderful partner. She’s done this through all sorts of difficulties. I’m deeply appreciative.

Now, when there’s no real pressure, I feel a distance. Last night, about 9 o’clock she snuggled with me in a platonic kind of way. I like that. It was odd only because when she does this she normally lets me know why she’s avoiding sex.

Something has changed. I’m not sure what it is, but definitely the wind has changed direction. Even though we spend our days less than 20 feet apart, I recognized yesterday that I initiate all the contact. It could be that she’s finally had enough of me.

Another idea is that the real fun in her life comes while she’s at work. Now that she has no job, for now, she buried herself in various video games. I think I see less of her now than I did when she was at the office all day.

She’s never been particularly articulate about telling me how she feels. She always liked to tell me about what happened at work. She always makes a point about how she laughs with her officemates. I’m starting to realize that all her real sharing goes on there. Needless to say, this is very sad for me. I’ve always suspected that our sexual interaction has been a kind of chore for her. I hoped it was one she enjoyed. Now, I’m not so sure. I’m also not so sure that she’s particularly fond of my company.

I know she loves me. She knows I love her. That’s never been in question. We’ll do anything for each other. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s very fond of my company. I can’t think of the last time I’ve made her laugh. Even when she makes me do silly things, she doesn’t show any real joy.

Yes, we are very comfortable with each other. We could spend years alone together in this house without any real stress. That doesn’t mean that we will be having fun. We’ll be comfortable and Mrs. Lion will indulge some of my sexual needs. You won’t hear the sound of us laughing.

I might not have recognized this if we weren’t forced to be home. Generally, when we have time off, we either take care of chores or go on a trip in our trailer. This is very different. It could be a lot of fun. Maybe we just don’t have that much in common. Maybe over the years, we’ve learned how to work around that. I don’t think it’s working now.

[Mrs. Lion — I do seem to be floundering a bit. I keep thinking I have things to do but I’m off for a month. Do I really need to do things right now? But I also know that month will be gone before I know it. As far as Lion is concerned, I don’t see what he’s talking about. I’ve always been flaky about playing with him. From my point of view, things are normal. He’s working so I leave him to it. He’s the one who has structure right now. If he wants me to interrupt him by waving a butt plug in his face, I can do that. I’ll just have to make sure it’s not during one of his videoconferences.]

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I spent yesterday wearing a diaper. I really don’t like that. Mrs. Lion knows it and that’s why she makes me wear one every so often. It’s just another way she lets me know who’s in charge. She let me be wild again after my shower yesterday afternoon. She also played with me (sexually) after my shower. This was our first afternoon session in a long time. It felt great but I was unable to get to the edge. This seems to be the pattern recently. If history is the predictor, starting today I should be able to reach the edge.

So far, we’ve been having a good time. We like each other’s company and having this opportunity to be together 24 hours a day is a lot of fun. I am working from home and so is everyone else from my company. Thanks to very good technology, we have video meetings when we need to talk. I’ll tell you a little secret: they can’t see it, but I’m wearing nothing but a T-shirt. Yesterday, it was a T-shirt and a diaper.

We got a few surly comments complaining that with COVID-19 it was wrong for us to talk about sex. I deleted those ridiculous remarks. Lest anyone forget, this is a sex blog. We are supposed to write about sex; at least our version of it.

Other bloggers are more active. Being home gives them more opportunities to write. Also, I believe we share a responsibility to provide more reading material to entertain our shelter-in-place readers. I’m used to this sort of isolation. Mrs. Lion has always preferred it. I do understand that most everybody else has to compensate for this radical change in human contact. This is one time that being solitary critters is a distinct advantage.

I wonder why it is still so difficult to buy toilet paper or paper towels. By this time, you’d think everybody had more than enough. Distilleries have started making hand sanitizer. I guess that’s a good thing. Nobody has said whether or not using the sanitizers actually kills the coronavirus. Apparently, the consensus is that it’s a good idea to use these products. They are made out of glycerin and grain alcohol. Alcohol is not the best antimicrobial agent. I suppose it’s better than nothing. We use Provon soap for handwashing. This is the stuff that our Hospital and medical center use. Hopefully, that will keep us safer.

I suspect that Mrs. Lion has more fun and games planned for me. She is able to structure her days and take naps if she wants them. Perhaps she will have more energy for fun. She is bound to tell you before she tells me. If you’ve noticed, my morning post is coming in much later. We are on Pacific daylight time and I have been writing my post at about 9 AM. Usually, I write it the day before.

I’m sure I will have more interesting stuff to write about tomorrow. I just wanted to let you know how we’re doing. As of now, we’re both healthy and very happy to be home together. I’m still collecting my paycheck which makes things a lot simpler. See you tomorrow.

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Me in a diaper.

Last night Mrs. Lion announced that I had a choice: I could either have three of the tiny dollhouse clothespins on the head of my penis or I would have to wear a diaper for the entire day today. After very brief thought I elected the diaper. Both are unpleasant choices. Those tiny clothespins are incredibly painful on that sensitive spot. I’ve never had three on it. I don’t look forward to that happening. Mrs. Lion’s diaper rules are pretty yucky. I have to wear a diaper at all times. When I pee I have to leave the diaper on while it’s wet until I have to go again. Then I can change the diaper and wet the new one immediately. This way, I end up in a wet diaper all day.

My other choice!

Here I am sitting at my computer in a dry diaper. I haven’t had my first pee yet. Fortunately for me, modern adult diapers wick away the moisture. They also cancel out most of the smell as the urine ages. There is still some unpleasant odor. The liquid makes the diaper heavy and it sags and tries to fall off when I stand up.

This choice came out of the blue. Even though she wrote about it, Mrs. Lion didn’t want to do anything during the day yesterday. After dinner, we watched some TV and then she moved over to snuggle. She asked me if I wanted to come out from under the covers. I was feeling chilly all evening. I came out from the covers but I was still too cold, so back I went. There was nothing sexual at all. Then, about an hour later, Mrs. Lion offered my choice. Maybe she’ll explain what prompted her in her post later today. I’m not complaining. After all, it is what we do.

I can’t help but wonder if now that I used one of the two choices, I will get the other one without being offered any alternatives. I don’t know she thinks that way, but that’s the way I do. I’m glad she’s been thinking along naughty lines. It certainly adds spice to our quarantine.

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Sex is different for me. It’s not that I’m no longer interested in it. I really love sex. More than six years of orgasm denial and control has trained me on every level of my being. I suppose the best way to explain this change is that my expectations are managed. I no longer expect to ejaculate even when stimulated right to the edge of an orgasm. Like Charlie Brown in “Peanuts”, I take a running start to kick the ball that’s teed up in front of me. The joke in the comic strip is that Charlie Brown never learns that Lucy is going to pull the ball away at the last second. I’m just like Charlie Brown.

In the heat of the moment, each and every time Mrs. Lion masturbates me to the edge of orgasm I fully expect I’m going to ejaculate. Somewhere in the intellectual part of my brain, I know that she’s going to stop before I reach the peak. The rest of me is ready to go. Just like Charlie Brown, I hope to be able to get that orgasm. When Mrs. Lion stops, the intellectual part of my brain says, “I told you there was no need to get so turned on she was never gonna let you come.”

Mrs. Lion is too smart to let me really learn. She gives me the chance to ejaculate regularly, but not too regularly. She lets me get over the top often enough that I am ever hopeful. She will even edge me multiple times and then push me over the edge. Other times, she’ll edge me multiple times, stop, and say “Not this time.”

I’m panting too hard to sigh. If I could, I would let out a big deep sigh of disappointment. The big difference between orgasm denial and orgasm control is managing ejaculations. Some people believe it’s far more controlling to withhold orgasms for very long periods of time. Doing this creates a very different mindset. Guys that don’t expect to ejaculate for months on end become a cheering section for their own denial. It becomes a sort of contest. Extending the wait is a contest. I imagine there’s a sense of disappointment when his partner finally lets him ejaculate.

It’s diametrically opposite to my situation. Mrs. Lion will give me an orgasm every 4 to 10 days. Sometimes she will make me wait longer. The average is about seven days. That’s long enough to make me really want to come, but not so long that I am not actively hoping that each time she plays with my penis she might let me ejaculate. It’s positively diabolical. Just enough time to get truly frustrated, but not so much that I will lose hope.

Edging every day or two guarantees that the right hormones are flowing. I’m rarely more than 48 hours away from being brought right to the very brink of an orgasm; actually, being brought to that brink over and over and over again. It’s exciting to think about. I find it fun as well. I never know when sexual activity will result in me scoring a touchdown. I don’t have any input into the process. I just have to lie there and hope for the best.

One sacrifice I make being under orgasm control is that I have to be sexually passive. I can’t initiate. I have absolutely no control over how stimulated I will be. I have to lie on my back while someone else — my lioness — has complete control over my sexual pleasure. If I’m tempted to take things into my own hands, we have a collection of male chastity devices that guarantee nothing sexual will happen without Mrs. Lion providing the action. After over six years of this, I find this very natural. I’ve surrendered control for so long that I don’t believe I could take it back if I wanted to. Fortunately for me, Mrs. Lion has no such interest.