Caged Lion (Page 3)

Me in a diaper.

Last night Mrs. Lion announced that I had a choice: I could either have three of the tiny dollhouse clothespins on the head of my penis or I would have to wear a diaper for the entire day today. After very brief thought I elected the diaper. Both are unpleasant choices. Those tiny clothespins are incredibly painful on that sensitive spot. I’ve never had three on it. I don’t look forward to that happening. Mrs. Lion’s diaper rules are pretty yucky. I have to wear a diaper at all times. When I pee I have to leave the diaper on while it’s wet until I have to go again. Then I can change the diaper and wet the new one immediately. This way, I end up in a wet diaper all day.

My other choice!

Here I am sitting at my computer in a dry diaper. I haven’t had my first pee yet. Fortunately for me, modern adult diapers wick away the moisture. They also cancel out most of the smell as the urine ages. There is still some unpleasant odor. The liquid makes the diaper heavy and it sags and tries to fall off when I stand up.

This choice came out of the blue. Even though she wrote about it, Mrs. Lion didn’t want to do anything during the day yesterday. After dinner, we watched some TV and then she moved over to snuggle. She asked me if I wanted to come out from under the covers. I was feeling chilly all evening. I came out from the covers but I was still too cold, so back I went. There was nothing sexual at all. Then, about an hour later, Mrs. Lion offered my choice. Maybe she’ll explain what prompted her in her post later today. I’m not complaining. After all, it is what we do.

I can’t help but wonder if now that I used one of the two choices, I will get the other one without being offered any alternatives. I don’t know she thinks that way, but that’s the way I do. I’m glad she’s been thinking along naughty lines. It certainly adds spice to our quarantine.

Sex is different for me. It’s not that I’m no longer interested in it. I really love sex. More than six years of orgasm denial and control has trained me on every level of my being. I suppose the best way to explain this change is that my expectations are managed. I no longer expect to ejaculate even when stimulated right to the edge of an orgasm. Like Charlie Brown in “Peanuts”, I take a running start to kick the ball that’s teed up in front of me. The joke in the comic strip is that Charlie Brown never learns that Lucy is going to pull the ball away at the last second. I’m just like Charlie Brown.

In the heat of the moment, each and every time Mrs. Lion masturbates me to the edge of orgasm I fully expect I’m going to ejaculate. Somewhere in the intellectual part of my brain, I know that she’s going to stop before I reach the peak. The rest of me is ready to go. Just like Charlie Brown, I hope to be able to get that orgasm. When Mrs. Lion stops, the intellectual part of my brain says, “I told you there was no need to get so turned on she was never gonna let you come.”

Mrs. Lion is too smart to let me really learn. She gives me the chance to ejaculate regularly, but not too regularly. She lets me get over the top often enough that I am ever hopeful. She will even edge me multiple times and then push me over the edge. Other times, she’ll edge me multiple times, stop, and say “Not this time.”

I’m panting too hard to sigh. If I could, I would let out a big deep sigh of disappointment. The big difference between orgasm denial and orgasm control is managing ejaculations. Some people believe it’s far more controlling to withhold orgasms for very long periods of time. Doing this creates a very different mindset. Guys that don’t expect to ejaculate for months on end become a cheering section for their own denial. It becomes a sort of contest. Extending the wait is a contest. I imagine there’s a sense of disappointment when his partner finally lets him ejaculate.

It’s diametrically opposite to my situation. Mrs. Lion will give me an orgasm every 4 to 10 days. Sometimes she will make me wait longer. The average is about seven days. That’s long enough to make me really want to come, but not so long that I am not actively hoping that each time she plays with my penis she might let me ejaculate. It’s positively diabolical. Just enough time to get truly frustrated, but not so much that I will lose hope.

Edging every day or two guarantees that the right hormones are flowing. I’m rarely more than 48 hours away from being brought right to the very brink of an orgasm; actually, being brought to that brink over and over and over again. It’s exciting to think about. I find it fun as well. I never know when sexual activity will result in me scoring a touchdown. I don’t have any input into the process. I just have to lie there and hope for the best.

One sacrifice I make being under orgasm control is that I have to be sexually passive. I can’t initiate. I have absolutely no control over how stimulated I will be. I have to lie on my back while someone else — my lioness — has complete control over my sexual pleasure. If I’m tempted to take things into my own hands, we have a collection of male chastity devices that guarantee nothing sexual will happen without Mrs. Lion providing the action. After over six years of this, I find this very natural. I’ve surrendered control for so long that I don’t believe I could take it back if I wanted to. Fortunately for me, Mrs. Lion has no such interest.

You probably won’t be surprised that I got myself in trouble on Sunday. Actually, my goof was on Saturday. I forgot to set up the coffee pot. When Sunday morning rolled around, Mrs. Lion had to take care of the coffee. Actually, I pointed out to her that I forgot before she got up. I figured I could go in to take care of it on Sunday morning. Nope. She pointed out that I want her to be consistent and binary. Yup, I do. So spanking is on the Sunday agenda.

(I just took a break to set the coffee up for Monday morning. I’m not that stupid!)

Okay. Coffee is set up for tomorrow. That will save me a repeat spanking. The bottom line is that domestic discipline really works. It has the obvious benefit of providing a painful consequence if I fall down on my job or upset Mrs. Lion. Since she became serious about spanking, the consequence is serious enough for me to avoid earning new punishments.

There is a less obvious benefit. Without our disciplinary relationship, Mrs. Lion would have walked into the kitchen and seen that the coffee pot was not set up. Without a doubt, she would just get it ready for breakfast. She might not even think about it consciously. But I’m willing to bet that over time, these seemingly minor offenses add up. Sooner or later, they will emerge in a relationship-damaging way. It’s the old squeeze-the-tube-of-toothpaste-from-the-middle -of-the-tube sitcom scenario. Little seemingly-inconsequential annoyances eventually build up to a major explosion.

We don’t have to worry about that. Each and every issue, no matter how small, is handled promptly. Mrs. Lion expresses her displeasure in a very clear way. There isn’t a doubt in her mind that I don’t get the message. It only takes her a few minutes to give me a very painful spanking. By the time she’s done, I understand that I’ve done something wrong. I also know that I’m going to work hard to avoid repeating the problem.

Both of us have acknowledged and appropriately responded to a problem. I know that some of our readers think that it’s inappropriate to give a painful spanking as a consequence of a minor infraction. We’ve learned that this response works for us. I learn rapidly when Mrs. Lion consistently punishes me. She expressed her displeasure and moved on with her life. I feel the result of that spanking much longer. That’s a good thing. It’s a very clear reminder of my misdeed.

After a lot of experimentation, we’ve learned the best way for us to incorporate punishment into our marriage. We’ve tried many things. We built a point system that dictated how many swats I get. We thought that would make it easier by having assigned sessions during which the earned swats would be administered. It didn’t work for us because it was complicated and more importantly, by the time spanking was administered I had forgotten why I was getting it.

We tried adjusting the intensity of the spanking to correspond to the seriousness of the offense. This didn’t work either. It was difficult for Mrs. Lion to figure out how to provide different levels of punishment. Minor offenses earned light spankings that didn’t deter me from repeating the offense.

We learned that for a spanking to be meaningful to me, it has to be severe enough to make me want to avoid it. It also has to be administered as close to the offenses possible. Delay makes it harder to associate the pain with my misdeed. Along with that, we learned that it’s difficult for me to change if I’m not punished each and every time I do something wrong. Exceptions make matters seem less serious to me. It’s as though my offense isn’t really a problem. The punishment is more a BDSM activity than a serious response to a problem.

When Mrs. Lion spanks me each and every time I do something wrong and makes the spankings painful enough for me to want to avoid them, I learn very quickly. I do backslide sometimes. A good example is forgetting to set up the coffee on Saturday. I do the coffee pot every single day. It should be an automatic habit. Somehow I forgot. There were reasons I didn’t get the coffee done. We had gotten a large shipment of groceries and Mrs. Lion had them all over the kitchen. When I went in to set up the coffee pot, stuff was everywhere. That would certainly be a reasonable excuse. Right?

It isn’t. I could have come back later when the kitchen was clear. I let it slip my mind. On Sunday morning when I pointed this out to Mrs. Lion she could’ve excused it. She’s done things like that in the past. She’s let me off when there was a reason I might not have been able to do what I’m supposed to do. This time she didn’t. It was exactly the right thing for her to do. I could’ve found a way to get that job done. If it was important to me, I certainly would’ve done it one way or another. I let it slip down to the level of a chore I should do if it’s convenient.

A sore bottom, a very sore bottom is a sure cure for my failure to properly prioritize this chore. Anything less would be easy to shrug off mentally. Letting me get away with it sends the message that it really isn’t very important whether I do it or not. That’s why consistency is critical and a binary approach to spanking is effective for me.

We are starting to feel the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic. Mrs. Lion was laid off from her job for at least a month. Friday was her last day. This makes a dent in our income, of course. It’s much more difficult for some of her colleagues. Some are single parents who were barely staying above water while they were working full-time. Mrs. Lion and her associates chipped in for a food delivery to one of them. It was a single mother who commented that she was completely out of food. It’s hard to imagine how difficult life will be for these hard-working people.

My retirement savings are shrinking. As of Friday, they went below the amount I contributed. I did shift most of my investments to money market and bonds when the epidemic began. However, about 1/4 of my 401(k) is invested in my company’s stock. It’s lost almost 40% of its value. I’m very tempted to move some of my money into the stock while it’s in this depressed situation. The company is fine in terms of its long-term prospects.

One thing that Mrs. Lion and I understand very well is that as long as the basis of our relationship is solid, we will find a way through adversity. We’ve been through hard times before. They tend to bring us closer. We’ve both made bad decisions over the years, but don’t see any reason to blame one another for them. We do the best we can. More importantly, we both know that.

I will be very happy to have the extra time with my lioness. We do very well together. I fully expect that once she gets her sea legs, I may get some extra painful attention because she is here full-time. On Friday night, she made wonderful coconut shrimp. We subscribe to Hello Fresh. The meals we get are absolutely restaurant-quality. Both of us find them easy enough to prepare

The coconut shrimp had a delicious apricot sauce for dipping. I didn’t realize that Mrs. Lion had put together two little dishes of that sauce. I made sure that the dish of sauce I was using was an easy reach for her. As a result, I managed to drip some of the sticky apricot sauce on my shirt. I asked Mrs. Lion if I would be punished. She said that I wouldn’t because I was trying to make sure she had some sauce as well

Is this Mrs. Lion reverting to a former, kinder self? Only time will tell. I’m not in favor of that change. I do much better when she is consistent, even if it means sometimes I am spanked for something unfairly. Spare the paddle spoil the lion. I know myself and us well enough to recognize the risk we take when consistency drops, even a little. An extra spanking is preferable to loss of disciplinary momentum.

In the past, when Mrs. Lion has been home for extended periods of time, both discipline and sexual activity seem to drop off. I’m not sure why this happens. I suspect it’s because when routine is broken, either new habits are formed or inertia sets in. I’m concerned about inertia.

We may have to figure out new routines that are independent of work schedules. I may need to be more proactive in terms of reminding her to do sexual things as well as discipline me. This isn’t optimal, but at least in the beginning it may be necessary. Also, maybe we need to continue our email exchanges even though she’s only a few feet from me. Some things are much easier to write than they are to say. I am confident that one way or another we will work this out.