Mrs. Lion

I mowed the first half of the lawn yesterday and the second half of the Lion. He’s fur-free, except for the inevitable spots I missed. He’s happier being smooth as a baby’s butt. I can go either way.

Lion still snoozed a lot yesterday. In one of his more coherent moments, I asked if he wanted to pick from the Box O’Fun. He did. He chose pegging. We both vetoed that. That’s the sort of thing you have to be in the mood for and neither of us were. His next choice was blindfold with a bonus choice. There are an awful lot of clothespin cards in the box because there are an awful lot of variations. He chose coated clothespins. They are coated with a sandpaper-like surface right where it counts.

Of course, with the blindfold on, he had no idea what was going to happen. I realized if I pulled out a bag of clothespins, he’d hear what I was doing but I really couldn’t find them at first. When I found them I’d gone through a few plastic bags and I told him I couldn’t find them. I was hoping he had no idea what I was looking for. The blindfold is supposed to add an element of surprise. [Lion — I had no idea.]

I started out rubbing his balls and trying to get him hard. He says it’s better if he’s turned on first. Better for him, I suppose. This doesn’t work in the case of the Velcro. I like to put that on when he’s soft so it gets progressively tighter as he gets hard. That’s not to say I don’t massage his balls and play with my weenie. I do. I just stop before he’s hard. Once he was interested, I started putting the clothespins on his balls. I left two off so I could put them on his boobies. He gets nothing from clothespins on his nipples but I think it’s funny. And it hurts so that’s a bonus.

There are a few spots I know are very sensitive to clothespins. I always try to make sure I hit them. Even if I’m not doing the stripe right down the middle, I usually put one on a sensitive spot. Why not? Am I not going for pain? Since I know clothespins hurt going on and off but not much once they’re on, I wiggle them and tug on them. I have to have some fun, right?

If he had gotten harder and we had gotten to the edge, I was considering giving him an orgasm. Even though it’s only been a few days, I want to make up for the ruined orgasm he had. As you’re reading this, you’re probably thinking he’s lucky he had an orgasm of any sort, but we both hate ruined orgasms. I always want him to have a good orgasm…not often, but good.

When the clothespin were safely put away, I gave Lion oral sex again. I know he’s probably getting spoiled and he may even say he’s bored with it like he’s bored with handjobs, but it really is easier on me. Sitting on the bed next to him annoys my knees, back and shoulders. Laying across the bed generally doesn’t hurt much. My neck and shoulders can get tired, but the benefit outweighs that. I don’t think Lion was particularly interested. He never got fully hard. He was making noises as if he was close, but I think he was just happy to be sucked. I don’t mind his being soft as long as it feels good. I just don’t want to continue if he’s not getting anywhere and he usually tells me.

My hairless Lion. (Click here to see larger)

I think it was last month that I had the brilliant idea to suggest a compromise for waxing. At the time, it seemed like a good idea. It was, after all, the month I suggested just doing everything but Lion’s legs. He likes his legs waxed. I don’t care if they’re furry or not. It made sense to give me a month of not waxing them and him a month of waxing them. Win-win.

Yesterday, as I waxed his legs, I tried to come up with a different solution. I hate waxing his legs. His thighs aren’t so bad. His knees and lower “chicken” legs have too many angles to cover with a wooden applicator. I’ve been joking for a while that I should be able to use a paint roller. Lion told me they make a roll on wax but it’s strip wax. Ugh. The only thing I dislike more than waxing his legs is using strip wax.

[Lion — Strip wax uses a thin coat of wax on the skin. After application, a strip of cloth is applied. The cloth is ripped off like a band-aid taking the hair and wax with it. Mrs. Lion likes stripless wax. This kind is much thicker than strip wax. It “hardens” on the skin and then can be pulled off without the cloth. It is less messy than strip wax, not as painful for me and much easier to use.]

To make matters worse, the wax was stubbornly hanging on everywhere. Last month it was easy to get the remnants off. This month, not so much. I hate that. I slathered Lion with mineral oil, let it soak in, and rubbed him with a towel just like last time. Most of it came off, but there was still some that refused even after another round of mineral oil. [Lion — This is probably because Mrs. Lion didn’t put enough mineral oil on my skin before waxing. That step is tricky, too much mineral oil on and the wax won’t stick to the hair, too little and it sticks to the skin.]

I think last month was a conspiracy. The wax lulled me into thinking it would be easy. It made me think I’ve figured everything out. “Just put some mineral oil on and rub. Easy peasy. I promise I’ll come off,” it lied. All the while it was waiting until this month to get its revenge. “I will not go peacefully!”

Today is round two. The flip side. Luckily, Lion is less furry on his back and butt. It’s those damn legs that are going to kill me. If Lion’s skin wouldn’t get crispy, I’d be tempted to use a blow torch.

[Lion — I was thinking that maybe Mrs. Lion could stop after doing my thighs. If she can taper the hair between thigh and leg, it would look pretty natural. I don’t care if my lower legs are hairy or not.

Neither of us was in the mood last night. I’ve been very tired. Lion must be too because he’s been snoozing a lot. A trip to the doctor helped wipe him out. I’ve also been dealing with sinus issues. Enough about our whining, the sun is out and it’s a long weekend.

My new rug…um..Lion beater.

I surprised Lion with a new toy yesterday. I didn’t tell him it was coming. The first he knew about it was when I demonstrated it by whomping the bed. I don’t know how I got the idea of a rug beater. I’ve never read anything about them being used on people. I’ve never read much about them at all. It was like a lightbulb went on and I started looking on Amazon.

It’s a little large for Lion’s butt.

One of the first ones I saw had a review that said it wasn’t used for its intended purpose but it was very sturdy. I think that’s the first inkling I got that I was on the right track. Someone else had the same idea I did. And that was a good sign that this particular rug beater could handle Lion’s butt. There were others, of course, but they seemed too long. As it was, I didn’t really have a good concept of how big the head was. It might have said, but I didn’t read it. It definitely won’t be useful to do the actual punishment. I figure it will work as the final few whacks across both cheeks. Maybe it will leave a lasting mark. Maybe it won’t. Maybe just the idea of it making a mark is enough.

I’m just proud of myself for thinking about repurposing something like that. I don’t think Lion ever thought about it. [Lion — Nope, I didn’t] Clearly, other people have. I know I’ve come up with a few of our toys, but nothing this far out of left field. Lion is a little worried. He’s been whacked with rattan canes, but never a rug beater. And to think, he narrowly escaped punishment this morning when he got up before I did and put the coffee pot together. I guess he didn’t want to test out the rug beater this soon. But, as he said, he has plenty of time to get in trouble some other way.

Poor Lion.

Lion gave an unexpected response when he chose “coconut oil handjob” from the Box O’Fun. He didn’t want to do it.


The horny boy who loves coconut oil hand jobs didn’t want a coconut oil hand job. So I allowed him to choose again. There’s no sense making him do something he doesn’t want to do, especially if it’s a nice thing. His second choice was tiny clothespins.

Oops. Is it too late for a coconut oil hand job?

The last time I used the tiny clothespins on him, I didn’t put them around the head of his penis. I put them on his scrotum. I don’t know why. Part of me probably wanted to give him a break. Another part of me probably wanted to see how much they’d hurt somewhere else. This time around, I put them on the head. I think the record was three at once. I started with two. I’d grabbed five out of the bag. One was pink and the rest were blue. Sometimes I tease him that a girly pink clothespin is causing the powerful Lion so much pain. Last night was the manly, blue clothespins’ turn.

Once I had two on him, I decided he could manage more. I wasn’t going to do all five, but maybe he could handle four. I spaced them all out. Now the record is four tiny, nasty clothespins on the head of his penis. I’m sure Lion thinks the best part of enduring them is that he’s done with tiny clothespins for now. In a few nights, he’s gone through Icy Hot and tiny clothespins. The rest of the way through the Box O’Fun should be easy.

When I was done with the clothespins, I had Lion lay across the bed again. He was pretty horny and I wanted to take advantage of that. I teased him with my tongue and then edged him. I got it in my head that I should keep him on the edge as much as possible. I didn’t want to give him a chance to get soft at all. Unfortunately, this never works out well. I tell myself to be careful. I tell myself that the next time might be too far. I don’t listen.

It’s probably silly to say that we don’t know if it was a ruined orgasm. It seemed like one at first. Then Lion said he didn’t think it was. And then he said he did think it was. [Lion — I’m sure it was. I dripped for ages afterward.] I guess the only way to know for sure is if he isn’t interested tonight. I wish there was a way to stop him in his tracks when I’m stupid and go too far. Maybe I can pinch him somewhere, or slap him. The sudden pain might snap him out of it. Somehow I doubt it. One the mechanism has started, there’s probably no way to stop it.

So, here we are, the beginning of a three day weekend and Lion might not be horny for it. It’s all my fault. If it was a ruined orgasm, I’m hoping we can salvage things by Sunday or Monday.