BDSM

I got my orgasm on Thursday night. Mrs. Lion was in a blow job mood. I was lobbying for her to ride me or even try lion (doggy) style sex. Maybe next time. I had big fun. The weather has warmed up to a very nice 77^o F. I love summer. I was out in our backyard for the first time since we moved here. It was pleasant sitting at our outdoor table.

It seems that sex and spankings come close together, a day apart usually. The spanking always comes before the sex. I’m not complaining; it’s just an observation. We haven’t played much. I suspect that Mrs. Lion is a little afraid that my Edex-produced boner is too fragile for play. I don’t think it is, but even if I can’t stay hard, the play has a lasting effect. Another shot the next day could be for sex alone. I think it’s worth experimenting.

We’re facing new challenges in our sex life. We still haven’t figured out how to integrate play into my Edex-generated boners. One possibility is to look at non-CBT BDSM activities or at least play that isn’t boner dependent. That also means I have to remember that being aroused isn’t required for BDSM. After all, in New York, when I played at parties, sex, at least orgasms, were not expected.

Most CBT works without boners, though it isn’t as much fun for me. Clothespins work well with or without an erection. Stuff like IcyHot is much more difficult to handle without arousal, but we do have the Edex. We haven’t tried using it two days in a row. I suspect that if we do, the second day will find me much more aroused. Maybe play with Edex but not orgasm one day, and  Edex with orgasm the next. Maybe even lion riding. What do you say, Mrs. Lion?

I think that a lot of people misunderstand sex, sex play, and BDSM. In an ideal world, all of those activities would arouse both partners (or more, if included). The reality is that it rarely works out that way. How many times do both partners orgasm during intercourse? I’ve been lucky enough to experience that a good percentage of the time. When Mrs. Lion rode me (cowgirl position), she would orgasm, but I wouldn’t. That’s not uncommon with that position. It’s one of the best for women but not very stimulating for the man.

Other positions got me off first. Quite a few women can’t orgasm through intercourse. They can orgasm through oral or manual stimulation. If the objective is for both (all) partners to orgasm, it’s pretty obvious that partners take turns. After Mrs. Lion had her orgasms (she liked to have several), she would either dismount and jerk me off or turn around into reverse cowgirl and let me buck until I came. We never expected that both of us would orgasm near or at the same time.

Most people know that unselfish sex requires sequential orgasms. Other activities don’t seem as well understood. Take BDSM, for example. Bottoms almost always get sexual stimulation out of the play. Many play sessions end with a happy ending for the bottom. When I was a top, I didn’t get aroused by what I was doing to the bottom. I focused on providing the best action I could. Very often, there was no sex for me. That was understood at the time.

It can get complicated in a relationship like our marriage. Mrs. Lion spanks me on a regular basis. Spanking doesn’t arouse her. As I recall, only one woman got turned on by spanking me. She considered it foreplay. She would tie me face-down, spank me until she was very aroused, then release me and have me mount her. It worked out very well for both of us. That was an exceptional situation. She said that seeing me squirm and try to get away was what really turned her on.

I always wanted Mrs. Lion to get turned on when she spanked me. I found being spanked sexually arousing. Well, no, not the actual spanking. That wasn’t any fun at all. I’m turned on thinking about getting spanked. It’s something I need. I always figure that Mrs. Lion needs a reason to spank me beyond the fact that I need it. I reasoned that if she didn’t get turned on doing it, maybe she could find it a way to balance power in the marriage or release pent-up anger. That never happens either.

I never managed to connect my own experience with topping with Mrs. Lion’s paddling me. I should. Topping, which certainly included spanking, was an exercise in pushing limits and providing the best possible experience for my bottom. I think that Mrs. Lion tries to deliver a spanking that I will remember. Sometimes (recently), she loses focus and delivers spankings that are less memorable. I admit that I’ve been grateful that she wasn’t concentrating on making me yelp for a full ten minutes. But I know that I need the more severe spankings she has taken pride in delivering.

I was very surprised when I read Mrs. Lion’s post yesterday (“Not Going Lion’s Way“). She said that she often thinks about riding me, but I had no idea that she does. The last time she rode me (reverse cowgirl) was in 2018. Has she been considering this for six years? Please do it! I miss being inside her. Sure, all the other stuff we do is fun, but feeling my hard cock inside her is wonderful.

Intercourse stopped when Mrs. Lion stopped wanting orgasms for herself. I’ve given her a few since then, but she still doesn’t want them. I love giving them to her. From a purely selfish perspective, I love how it feels when she rides me. I also wonder if we can try our other old-time favorite position: lion (doggy) style. You may recall that this was how we fucked on our first, second, third, etc. dates. Most of those times, it was anal penetration. Mrs. Lion was always fond of that. We could do that now, too.

We stopped doing it lion-style because I couldn’t remain hard when standing or kneeling behind her. As we now know, this was the beginning of my ED. Now that we have a reliable way to help me get hard, maybe we could do it lion style, too. I have to admit I prefer being ridden, but I would be happy to also do the more traditional way we mate.

It was another surprise when Mrs. Lion came up with her own dice game. Now we have use for both of our new dice. There are two potential conflicts when we use two dice. If Mrs. Lion’s die comes up “IcyHot,” the only kind of sex I can have is a handjob. Given that, if she rolls IcyHot, she doesn’t have to roll the other die. The second conflict comes up if she rolls a “one” on the sex die, and an activity on the BDSM die. My suggestion is that she can either just do the BDSM without sex, or tease me without orgasm. The third situation is if she rolls a one on both dice: snake eyes. I sugges that gets me a spanking and no sex. No more conflicts!