FAQ For New Keyholders
We are going to keep updating this FAQ as more ideas for items come in. Feel free to suggest more items or comment on theses.
Is there a specific routine with a new device?
There are endless posts and articles on the “right” way to get started. Most are simply male fantasies masquerading as advice from an experience keyholder. The simple fact is that there is no specific schedule or program for enforced chastity. If your male insists there is a way you should do things, you might consider punishing him or giving back the key. You are in charge and you do what is comfortable for you and safe for him.
One thing that makes a lot of sense is to “test” a new device. Have him wear it for a few hours when he is home. Take it off and check for irritation. Make sure he tells you if something hurts. If there is a problem, adjust the device if it can be adjusted, or if not, remeasure and consider how to follow up. Our Getting A Good Fit page is a handy resource on measuring for a chastity device.
Generally, a good start after that first experiment is to lock him for a weekend. Again, this has nothing to do with “training” him. It is all about safety and comfort. If you lock him up after work on Friday and he is still happy on Sunday night, then chances are the device is fitting well.
In the beginning, I had an off-the-shelf Chinese device. This image shows the fit. It isn’t very good. This image, on the other hand, shows me in my custom-made Jail Bird. This is after shortening the cage by 1/2″ and reducing the base ring size by 1/8″. It’s a perfect fit now. Read more.
How long should I make him wait
This is 100% up to you. In our experience, working up to longer waits is more likely to be successful. than making his first wait very long The first wait could be three days, for example. See how he is doing after three days. Even if he wants to wait longer, give him an orgasm. Why? The idea is to teach him that you are in charge and that this isn’t his fantasy. Realistically, he needs to learn to wait. Putting him on an every-three-day schedule for a couple of weeks and then changing to every 7 days, then longer if you wish in increments, will let him learn to manage waiting. Typically, many males experience the most pressure to come at around ten days. It usually drops off from there. This is assuming you tease him regularly between orgasms. There is a point of diminishing returns. Many males want to wait very long periods of time. Some want to never orgasm again. You need to decide what wait times you want for him. Remember that if you don’t tease him every few days, his interest in orgasm will decrease. Part of the point of enforced male chastity is to keep the male desperate to orgasm. Read more.
What is meant by tease and deny
This is a practice of arousing the male to the point just before ejaculation. Usually he is masturbated until it is clear he is about to come. Then the action stops. Many keyholders wait a bit (from about 30 seconds to several minutes) and do it again. This can be repeated several times. This sounds cruel. In a way it is, but it is very useful to him during his wait between orgasms. Males and females both are conditioned to start losing interest in sex after a period of no stimulation. Since enforced male chastity is about power much more than sex, as a keyholder you want to be sure his interest in orgasm is always front and center. The best way to do this is by having regular tease and deny sessions between his orgasms. Mrs. Lion teases me every other day. It is very effective in keeping me horny throughout my wait. When, for one reason or another, she missed a session or two, my interest in an orgasm didn’t disappear but did become muted and much easier to handle. This is not a positive when involved in enforced chastity.