Category: Anal play

Mrs. Lion talked about it lately, I’m in a sexual slump. It may be that I have a stomach virus, which is now on the way out. Mrs. Lion appears to have the same thing. In any case, I’m not interested in sex, and I haven’t had an erection in days. Every time something like this happens, I wonder if it’s the end of the line for me. We’d be quite a couple — both of us with no libidos.

Mrs. Lion isn’t willing to quit yet. For that matter, neither am I. It’s a little awkward being a sex blogger and not feeling horny. I’ve also been pretty tired. Neither of us has been sleeping very well. It seems that every time I wake up in the middle of the night and reach across the bed, I find Mrs. Lion’s hand, and she holds mine. I’m not sure that means she’s awake, but it feels delicious to have company in the middle of the night.

One of the problems associated with writing a daily post is that it’s impossible to skip over dry periods. It’s easier for me because I frequently write about topics other than what’s going on in my life right now. Mrs. Lion is our self-appointed historian, and when nothing much is happening, she finds herself with little to write about. Sometimes, she is saved by a provocative comment that she can post about.

We both love comments on our posts. We love some more than others. I like the fact that this is an interactive medium. If we didn’t want comments, it’s a simple option not to allow them. I feel that some of our regular commenters are friends. Their feedback and advice are often constructive. Other regular commenters remind me how difficult it is to successfully communicate about an odd set of kinks like ours.

I’m not always sure why I like something or want it. A good example is anal training. The idea turns me on, yet when Mrs. Lion is training me, it doesn’t feel good. The same is true of play spanking. I get turned on by the idea, but while things are happening to me, I don’t find it hot it all. Go figure!

There are a lot of contradictions in the way I think about sexual things. Even my interest in domestic discipline has some roots in the sexual thrill of thinking about spanking. I think this is true of most guys who receive disciplinary spankings from their partners. It’s not that it’s arousing to be spanked for doing something wrong, it isn’t. The sexual component for me is more complicated: it’s exciting to think about the fact that I put myself in a position to be spanked.

Maybe it’s not a good idea to think too deeply about things that turn you on. I remember reading a post written by a woman attempting to explain why men allow themselves to be punished, particularly by spanking, even though they hate it.

Her contention is that male sexuality being what it is, allows a man to feel aroused thinking about being spanked simply because it’s arousing to be humiliated that way and expose his naked bottom to his partner. She was quick to point out that this is not rational. I agree it isn’t. But it is a turn on for me. The weird thing, she claimed, was that even after many experiences with unpleasant, disciplinary spankings, the same sexual feelings brought him back for more punishment when needed.

erect spanking
I obviously don’t exactly hate being spanked. I often have a nice erection when the spanking is started. It’s true that it doesn’t last very long.

When I read that, I admit that it struck a chord with me. It’s true that what I think about being spanked, I feel a little rush and I get a nice tingle between my legs. When a spanking is imminent, and Mrs. Lion instructs me to get in position, there is no tingle at all. I still do it anyway. As I recall, when we first began disciplinary spankings, I would get an erection when Mrs. Lion told me I was about to be spanked. The erection wouldn’t last very long after she started, but I was hard until a minute or two after she began.

My point is that I am obviously attracted to certain activities which end up being very uncomfortable. More puzzling is the fact that I continue to be attracted to those same activities long after I’ve experienced over and over their unpleasant consequences. I’m not alone in this. Even some of our harshest critics admit to paying people to spank them.

There are deep sexual connections to actions that have strong power symbolism. I have to admit that allowing myself to be spanked and anally penetrated are very clearly sexually submissive activities. It’s less clear why I would want something that I love to hate to turn into something that is intended to make me unhappy. I’m thinking about the fact that I want Mrs. Lion to punish me for doing things that upset her. I completely agree with her choice of spanking as the best way to do this.

She’s commented that she feels bad that by punishing me with the paddle, she’s taking away something I found exciting in the past. That’s why she frequently refers to “play” spankings is something she would like to do again.

large dildo going up lion's ass
I can’t stay hard when my ass is being penetrated. In this picture, a 1-3/4 inch diameter dildo is slowly pegging me.

I’m not sure whether that will work. I don’t think that I’ve fixated on the idea that spanking is for punishment alone. I just think I expect punishments to go a certain way. I also worry that if I get something that is usually a punishment as a form of play, it can be emotionally confusing to me. I do know that I haven’t craved any BDSM spanking for quite a while. Even thinking about it doesn’t turn me on.

All this could change in the blink of an eye. Under the right circumstances, I could get very aroused thinking about a paddle hitting my bottom. I don’t know what those circumstances might be. That’s not entirely true. If Mrs. Lion wants to play a spanking game, I will probably find that quite hot. When we played our NFL football game, I would end up getting over 100 hard swats in the course of a game. I found it very hot. Go figure!

We’ve been writing a lot lately about anal play and punishment. You may think we’ve strayed from enforced chastity. While Lion may not be caged, I am still his only source of orgasm. I decide when he gets played with and when he has an orgasm. Well, that’s not technically true. When he’s in a slump, I may want him to have an orgasm but he’s unable to get there.

Recently, I’ve changed things up a bit. I’ve been giving him oral sex, but rather than give myself an achy neck or sore jaw, I only do it until I want to stop. Did Lion make it to the edge? Did he have an orgasm? No? Awwww. Too bad. Maybe next time. Or maybe not.

I think it’s been about a week since I made this change. I’ve wanted Lion to have an orgasm a few times. He’s wanted an orgasm every time, I’m sure. I’d guess about 90% of the time he never makes it anywhere near the edge. I know it feels good. He’s told me and I can hear the moaning. Maybe 2% of the time he’s at the edge when I stop and the rest of the time he’s pretty close.

I don’t think Lion would argue with this new technique. It certainly gets him more oral sex which he loves. He may not be getting to the edge as often as before but he is enjoying the journey.

Last night we finally solved the issue of my legs hitting the footboard of the bed. I had Lion lay diagonally across the bed. As a result, he enjoyed a much longer session. See what happens when the Lioness is comfortable? He still didn’t make it to the edge, but we had fun.

Lion attributed last night’s “failure” to the fact that his ass hurt. I’d done quite a bit more anal play than I have in the past. Both the length of time and the movement increased. I still only got four fingers in but I moved them around a lot more. I even shoved them in sideways. If I’m going to open him up, I need to be bit more aggressive than I have been. That’s not to say I was violent. I just stretched him a little more than I have in the past. I was still conscious of his discomfort level and I never went past it.

He also spent some time standing in the punishment corner. He forgot to set up the coffee the other day. Last night, he remembered the coffee but forgot punishment day. That damn Saturday punishment day got him again! That’s normally a funishment, but he’s been forgetting so often that it’s now a punishment. I’m hoping eventually a sore bottom will help him remember.

Tonight maybe I’ll take it a little easier on his ass so he can make it to the edge. I sure would love a Lion orgasm.

Christmas is always a very emotional time for most people. Mrs. Lion and I like the idea of celebrating it. We like the decorations, the music (for short while anyway), and of course the food. Around Thanksgiving and Christmas the local supermarkets stock up on turkey breasts. It’s difficult to find one the rest of the year. So we bought three and put them in the freezer. We ate one yesterday. It was a nice dinner. Mrs. Lion invited one of her friends who was going to be alone, and the three of us enjoyed a quiet celebration.

Holidays aren’t a big deal for us. Our kids are grown and live far away. I’m an only child and Mrs. Lion’s sister is on the East Coast. As for us, we celebrate every day. I don’t mean that in some sappy way. As you might gather from our posts, every day is special. Mrs. Lion works hard to make me happy and I try to do the same for her. We got our Christmas gifts some time ago. Neither of us is very good at withholding something from the other. That’s not entirely true. Mrs. Lion is absolutely wonderful at withholding orgasms from me.

Mrs. Lion jerking lion off

Over the years, I’ve come to enjoy the suspense of being aroused, teased, and then having to wait and see whether or not Mrs. Lion will let me ejaculate. I know that some guys prefer to be horny rather than to be satisfied. I am not in that club. But I’m definitely in the vagina-is-in-charge sex-play club. I really like when Mrs. Lion teases me. I also like it when she mentions that she’s going to tease me.

While Christmas and other holidays aren’t actually different from our regular day-to-day life, they are still big fun because we get to be home together. Since we both like to do nice things for one another, sometimes the pleasure can become a little routine. As I’ve mentioned before, sex and play seem to always be the last activities of our day. I wonder what it would be like if on a day we are home together, Mrs. Lion would take a break and lead me into the bedroom for some activities. I would love that! [Mrs. Lion — Before I moved in with Lion, we usually played in the afternoon.]

We took a break from anal on Christmas Eve. Mrs. Lion was worn out and achy from working around the house. I don’t think we need to do this daily. We also talked a little bit about cleanout. Insertion play is more fun for both of us (for obviously different reasons) if everything is free of matter inside my body. We use 7 ounce Fleet enemas for this purpose. They were the largest capacity disposables I could find.

The smaller disposables are designed to help people who are constipated. Anal, pegging, and other rear-end activities for either sex need more cleanout than stimulation for a bowel movement. Many people use enema bags which hold about a quart of water. These are a good idea but require preparation and quite a bit of time to expel all the water. Mrs. Lion doesn’t like that. She prefers something quick and easy. Fleet has been selling 7-ounce disposables on Amazon. This is enough liquid to provide a cleanout for our anal play. [Mrs. Lion – I only remember using the enema bag once and I don’t remember a strong preference one way or the other.]

Aren’t you glad you’re reading this post?

I bring this up because it’s a subject that is often overlooked. Anal is exciting and fun for both partners. The problem isn’t so much that you might encounter poop when doing penetration. It’s that being penetrated when you do have the material in the way, causes an uncomfortable feeling. Getting cleaned out vastly improves the enjoyment of being anally penetrated. It also makes it more pleasant for your partner.

I like it when Mrs. Lion engages in anal activities with me. Not only is it exciting that she does, but it is also another way she can show her sexual control. It’s a very intimate activity that we share. I think that makes it particularly special for both of us. She doesn’t have any particular fascination with my asshole. I don’t have a lifelong craving to be anally fucked. Let’s face it, it’s uncomfortable to learn to relax and allow insertion of whatever Mrs. Lion chooses.

The fact that she is choosing and I am willingly accepting is very exciting to me. No, it doesn’t make me hard. It’s a different kind of arousal. She sees evidence of it later when she plays with my penis. A side benefit of this anal fun is that it stimulates my prostate, which in turn helps generate more semen. On occasions when she allows me to have an orgasm, she considers that extra cream her reward. On other occasions, the prostate stimulation seems to generate precum. She really likes that.

I tend to be a goal-oriented guy. Mrs. Lion is much less focused on results. Years ago, long before we considered male chastity or a Female Led Relationship with Discipline, we did do BDSM play. When she strapped me into the sling, she liked to do anal play. When she first started, she would use her fingers. She said she wanted to be able to get her whole hand inside me. Each time we played that way she would try. While I was able to take larger and larger dildos, I seemed to be stuck on three lioness fingers.

full hand inserted in anus
Mrs. Lion is very close to achieving this. Our new training technique really makes this possible for the first time.

Now that we have decided to take a more focused approach, Mrs. Lion doesn’t stop just because I make some uncomfortable sounding noises. Just as she has learned to ignore my yelps when she spanks me, she ignores the sounds I make when she is penetrating me. Instead, she gauges her progress on how much resistance she feels. She’s learned to use just enough additional pressure to make me relax. When I reach a point when I don’t seem to be able to open wider, she usually either backs off or stops.

This technique has been very successful so far. A few days ago she was able to get four fingers all the way up to her knuckles as well as some of her thumb into me without too much discomfort. She’s learned to begin by letting me get accustomed to the feeling of something inside me by pegging me with the large, training butt plug.

It’s amazing how switching from using dildos to help me relax to using butt plugs has made all the difference in the world. When I think about it, it makes sense. All the dildos do is teach me to relax enough to accept them and then since they are inside, I can close down against them. I don’t learn to be able to relax once they are removed.

large butt plug

Being able to stay open without pressure is critical for fisting. The butt plug, on the other hand, is pyramid-shaped so that I am forced to learn to accept an increasingly larger object and then it suddenly turns into a narrow object when I reach the shoulders of the plug. Then when Mrs. Lion pulls it out I’m forced to open suddenly to the full with and then feel it shrink smaller and smaller as she withdraws it.

Then she inserts it again, essentially pegging me with it. I’m forced to open for the increased width and then feel the pressure to expand suddenly disappear. If I don’t learn to relax and stay relaxed even when the pressure to expand has stopped, it will be uncomfortable when it has to suddenly expand again as the plug is pulled out. Using the plug teaches me to stay open and relaxed.

I watched some porno videos of male anal fisting. I noticed that when the woman withdrew her hand, his anus remained wide open. He had learned to relax and stay relaxed. This made the insertion of her hand or another large object easy and comfortable for him.

Some people think that by learning this relaxation, or as some think, stretching, the anus loses its ability to close tightly. This is untrue. I know several people who have been fisted regularly for many years. They don’t have any problem with incontinence.

I like that Mrs. Lion is teaching me this. Being able to accept her hand is a very intimate thing to do. Male chastity is a negative form of control. By that, I don’t mean it’s bad or wrong. It’s negative because it’s the removal of something: the orgasm, that demonstrates control. Being prevented from pleasure is a way of demonstrating power. Theoretically, the male has no choice but to accept this.

Anal penetration is a positive form of control. It requires cooperation. That doesn’t mean it’s voluntary. Whatever Mrs. Lion chooses to shove up my ass is going to go there whether I want it to or not. However, I have a strong incentive to cooperate. In fact, I will cooperate whether I want to or not. My body will become trained to relax as a way of reducing discomfort. It’s a form of conditioning that will turn something uncomfortable into something very pleasant over time.

This is very similar to my experience with enforced male chastity. In the beginning, while I found it exciting that I was wearing a chastity device, I was also frustrated and annoyed that I kept being teased and not allowed to ejaculate. This was what I wanted to do. But at the same time, I really wanted to come.

That’s the way anal play is going to turn out too

[Mrs. Lion- This post was originally scheduled for yesterday. Merry Christmas everyone!!!]

Last night Lion spilled food on his shirt. It wasn’t a bad spill but a spill nonetheless. He needed a funishment. I decided to soap his mouth. Unfortunately, I then went to do something that should have been simple that took far longer than it should have and I lost track of time. When I finally removed the soap it had been fifteen minutes. That’s far too long. Lion said he started to feel burning. I should have set a timer. Luckily, there was only minimal damage.

Since this was a funishment, I didn’t feel any need to delay play. I pulled out a butt plug, the lube and a glove. I had Lion kneel on the bed and I started off with two fingers. I’m trying to ease into things each time. His butt may eventually remember to relax, but for now it needs time to adjust. I used the largest training butt plug and then went back to three fingers, and then four. Between wiggling my fingers inside him and moving them in and out, I was able to get four fingers up to my knuckles and I even got my thumb in for a bit.

In order to do this more effectively, I need to give Lion an enema beforehand. I don’t find it particularly disgusting to encounter poop, but it will definitely be more comfortable for Lion. However, if he wants me to use an ungloved hand, he will need to be cleaned out. I’m good with the glove so far. I think it slides more easily.

Lion thought I stopped too soon. He said he was able to go on longer. I didn’t stop because I thought he was done. I stopped because I was done. I don’t know how long we were at it, but it felt like long enough to me. We’ll try again tonight.

[Lion — It wasn’t that I wanted to push Mrs. Lion, I just wanted to let her know that I was still up for more. She is really doing a great job training me. We never got this far in the past.]

I also decided to continue the oral experiment. I was torn between that and using the finger vibrator. Ultimately, I decided that Lion loves oral and I’m kind of partial to it too. I’m pretty sure Lion was happy with my decision. He was making some nice noises. I thought maybe he’d make it to the edge, but he didn’t quite. No problem. We’ll try that again tonight too.

Lion made the comment that I’d given both ends of him attention. Yessiree! His tail end will get more tonight and, if necessary, his top half will too.

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