Category: BDSM

I admit that I was skeptical. Mrs. Lion suggested resuming play spankings and to inaugurate their resumption she brought in her heavy, rubber paddle from the camper. Wednesday night was dark and stormy. It really was! The wind was howling and a power failure was threatened. Mrs. Lion did a lot of work preparing us for that possibility. She dragged our generator out of the storeroom, brought out some gas cans, got our lanterns ready, and made sure we both had flashlights at hand. After a whole day’s work, I figured she would be too tired for anything else.

I was wrong. She brought out the rubber paddle and said, “Want to play?”

Predictably, I agreed. What followed was exciting fun. Mrs. Lion combined hand spanking with the use of the paddle. I may have yelped once or twice, but in general, the spanking was pure pleasure. I guess it’s true that we can have both fun spanking and punishment spanking. She took her time. When she was done, she told me to roll over. I obediently followed her instruction. Then she took a long time masturbating me. I didn’t get exactly to the edge, but I got damn close.

She combined intense rubbing with much slower, deliberate strokes. I started “helping” her. And for a little while, she let me hump her hand. I really love that. After a very short while, she took over jerking me off. I could feel myself starting to plateau. She noticed too. She stopped leaving me breathing quite hard and clearly wanting more. She told me that we would continue on Thursday night and she would leave me wanting even more than I wanted Wednesday. I believe her.

Wednesday night was the first time in a very long time that we played this way. Maybe we had sunk into a routine that wasn’t doing either of us much good. Perhaps starting earlier and using more energy is good for us. It is certainly good for me. I’m writing this post on Thursday and I can tell you that I’ve been horny since I woke up this morning.

Even though we are active, kinky lions, it’s very easy for us to fall into ruts that may seem comfortable at first, but invariably lead us in a direction neither of us wants. When we first started playing, long before we got married, Mrs. Lion admitted that she was concerned she would get bored with me and the things I liked. At the time I was confused by this. After all, if all the variety I liked was boring can you imagine how dull vanilla sex would be for her?

I get the idea now. It wasn’t that she was concerned about the activities being boring, just that without a great deal of personal involvement, she might be bored providing me with these services. When Mrs. Lion’s libido disappeared, my concern about this issue grew stronger. All this is for me. What’s in it for her? This still worries me a little.

lion's balls tied tight

One way I think we get past it is that Mrs. Lion is more than a service provider. She’s in charge. She may not get turned on doing all this kinky stuff to me, but she has an opportunity to take pride in her skill delivering it. For example, I know she’s proud of the fact that she’s gone from someone who was afraid she’d injure me with light love taps to a very effective disciplinary spanker. Her skills have grown in other kinky arts as well. She is brilliant at CBT. She can tie up my cock and balls in a myriad of ways. When she ties them tightly with my balls separated, jerking me off is accompanied by the rhythm of my balls banging on the bed or my legs. I think she likes that.

The jury may still be out in terms of anal play. For a long time, she was unable to make any real progress. Now, she is able to get a full four fingers up my ass. I am pretty sure her thumb will be joining them in the very near future. Then it’s just a matter of working the knuckles in before she’s completely fisted me. I’m pretty sure she never imagined this is a skill she wanted to acquire. Perhaps she will enjoy her new proficiency.

From my perspective, I like the fact that once I set her off in a new direction, she takes over and I no longer decide how much or when she does those activities. We’ve reestablished our respective roles: It’s my job to experience and appreciate what she does to and for me. It’s her job to initiate and perpetuate those things she would like to do. Together, we enjoy her progress and success.

Even though in a lot of cases her success means more discomfort for me, I can still feel proud of her for becoming what I asked her to be. Lioness 3.0 is absolutely here to stay. I hope that makes her as happy as it makes me.

Our bad weather continues. Now that the snow is done, the wind follows. I hope we keep our power. We have a small generator and the necessary cables to run the lights and our refrigerator. We can also keep our satellite TV going. What with all of the work unpacking, Mrs. Lion hasn’t had time to set any of that up. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be in the middle of a windstorm on a snowy, cold night. I’m keeping my paws crossed that the weather will spare us.

I’m writing this in the afternoon just a little while after Mrs. Lion posted her latest. Last night, she managed to unearth the meanest paddle I’ve ever bought. It’s about an inch thick, and 12 inches long. The striking surface is 3 inches wide. This is really dense stuff. It should provide a very sizable thud. I used it when I was a top to great advantage. [Mrs. Lion – I’m pretty sure we bought it a few years ago.] Mrs. Lion hasn’t used it since 3.0 emerged. Even if she uses it for fun, I expect it will hurt to sit down tomorrow. (Psst: Mrs. Lion, I’m looking forward to that)

I’m not sure how other couples manage moving something that was part of play into a much more serious role. Of course, I’m thinking of spanking. Over time, we didn’t have much trouble transitioning from BDSM to domestic discipline. The issue comes up when we want to go the other way: Mrs. Lion wants to do play as well as disciplinary spankings. It’s not so much that I can’t understand the difference between recreation and punishment. It’s more that I can’t really think of anything else that could be used for such polar opposite reasons.

I’m not suggesting it’s impossible. I think it’s just a little confusing for me anyway. Actually, it could be a good thing from a disciplinary perspective. I’ve noticed that over the last few months I’ve felt less and less sexual excitement at the thought of being spanked. This corresponds to Mrs. Lion’s much more severe disciplinary spankings. If she reintroduces some BDSM spanking, it means that she will work hard to keep me sexually aroused when she spanks me. I know from past experience that this arousal will carryover into disciplinary situations as well. It will make me a much more willing sheep to be led to slaughter.

Even though I’m not broken anymore, my sexual batteries seem to be fairly low power. They need recharging. Play spanking, CBT, and other BDSM fun stand a very good chance of fixing the problem. Assuming we don’t blow away before we get a chance, I think Mrs. Lion is on the right track to recharge me.

Mrs. Lion talked about it lately, I’m in a sexual slump. It may be that I have a stomach virus, which is now on the way out. Mrs. Lion appears to have the same thing. In any case, I’m not interested in sex, and I haven’t had an erection in days. Every time something like this happens, I wonder if it’s the end of the line for me. We’d be quite a couple — both of us with no libidos.

Mrs. Lion isn’t willing to quit yet. For that matter, neither am I. It’s a little awkward being a sex blogger and not feeling horny. I’ve also been pretty tired. Neither of us has been sleeping very well. It seems that every time I wake up in the middle of the night and reach across the bed, I find Mrs. Lion’s hand, and she holds mine. I’m not sure that means she’s awake, but it feels delicious to have company in the middle of the night.

One of the problems associated with writing a daily post is that it’s impossible to skip over dry periods. It’s easier for me because I frequently write about topics other than what’s going on in my life right now. Mrs. Lion is our self-appointed historian, and when nothing much is happening, she finds herself with little to write about. Sometimes, she is saved by a provocative comment that she can post about.

We both love comments on our posts. We love some more than others. I like the fact that this is an interactive medium. If we didn’t want comments, it’s a simple option not to allow them. I feel that some of our regular commenters are friends. Their feedback and advice are often constructive. Other regular commenters remind me how difficult it is to successfully communicate about an odd set of kinks like ours.

I’m not always sure why I like something or want it. A good example is anal training. The idea turns me on, yet when Mrs. Lion is training me, it doesn’t feel good. The same is true of play spanking. I get turned on by the idea, but while things are happening to me, I don’t find it hot it all. Go figure!

There are a lot of contradictions in the way I think about sexual things. Even my interest in domestic discipline has some roots in the sexual thrill of thinking about spanking. I think this is true of most guys who receive disciplinary spankings from their partners. It’s not that it’s arousing to be spanked for doing something wrong, it isn’t. The sexual component for me is more complicated: it’s exciting to think about the fact that I put myself in a position to be spanked.

Maybe it’s not a good idea to think too deeply about things that turn you on. I remember reading a post written by a woman attempting to explain why men allow themselves to be punished, particularly by spanking, even though they hate it.

Her contention is that male sexuality being what it is, allows a man to feel aroused thinking about being spanked simply because it’s arousing to be humiliated that way and expose his naked bottom to his partner. She was quick to point out that this is not rational. I agree it isn’t. But it is a turn on for me. The weird thing, she claimed, was that even after many experiences with unpleasant, disciplinary spankings, the same sexual feelings brought him back for more punishment when needed.

erect spanking
I obviously don’t exactly hate being spanked. I often have a nice erection when the spanking is started. It’s true that it doesn’t last very long.

When I read that, I admit that it struck a chord with me. It’s true that what I think about being spanked, I feel a little rush and I get a nice tingle between my legs. When a spanking is imminent, and Mrs. Lion instructs me to get in position, there is no tingle at all. I still do it anyway. As I recall, when we first began disciplinary spankings, I would get an erection when Mrs. Lion told me I was about to be spanked. The erection wouldn’t last very long after she started, but I was hard until a minute or two after she began.

My point is that I am obviously attracted to certain activities which end up being very uncomfortable. More puzzling is the fact that I continue to be attracted to those same activities long after I’ve experienced over and over their unpleasant consequences. I’m not alone in this. Even some of our harshest critics admit to paying people to spank them.

There are deep sexual connections to actions that have strong power symbolism. I have to admit that allowing myself to be spanked and anally penetrated are very clearly sexually submissive activities. It’s less clear why I would want something that I love to hate to turn into something that is intended to make me unhappy. I’m thinking about the fact that I want Mrs. Lion to punish me for doing things that upset her. I completely agree with her choice of spanking as the best way to do this.

She’s commented that she feels bad that by punishing me with the paddle, she’s taking away something I found exciting in the past. That’s why she frequently refers to “play” spankings is something she would like to do again.

large dildo going up lion's ass
I can’t stay hard when my ass is being penetrated. In this picture, a 1-3/4 inch diameter dildo is slowly pegging me.

I’m not sure whether that will work. I don’t think that I’ve fixated on the idea that spanking is for punishment alone. I just think I expect punishments to go a certain way. I also worry that if I get something that is usually a punishment as a form of play, it can be emotionally confusing to me. I do know that I haven’t craved any BDSM spanking for quite a while. Even thinking about it doesn’t turn me on.

All this could change in the blink of an eye. Under the right circumstances, I could get very aroused thinking about a paddle hitting my bottom. I don’t know what those circumstances might be. That’s not entirely true. If Mrs. Lion wants to play a spanking game, I will probably find that quite hot. When we played our NFL football game, I would end up getting over 100 hard swats in the course of a game. I found it very hot. Go figure!

Thursday night Mrs. Lion spanked me for my thoughtless behavior on Wednesday. She mentioned it in her post the next day. It was an important punishment. Hopefully, that spanking is the beginning of Mrs. Lion becoming more aware of things I do that bother her. Most couples that implement domestic discipline with the wife as the disciplining spouse begin because there is a behavioral problem with the husband. The most common reason is excessive drinking. The husband will be punished each time he drinks more than his wife permits him.

The key is that both partners believe something needs to be corrected. In our context, domestic discipline is a consensual activity. Mrs. Lion’s decisions about why I am punished can’t be vetoed. I think that surrendering the right to argue is what frightens many men about entering the sort of relationship. Mrs. Lion’s word is absolute, and I have to accept her punishments.

Our reason for getting into this has more to do with Mrs. Lion than me. She has a lifetime habit of stuffing her feelings. In the past, I’ve done things that upset her. I’ve been thoughtless with something I’ve said to her. She never commented when I did. I only discovered her upset when she withdrew from me. When that happened, I’d have to pry what was going on out of her. I felt that ultimately these bad feelings would add up and could endanger our marriage. I talked about this with Mrs. Lion; you can read about that in past posts. She agreed that the problem is real and that my proposed solution made sense.

Since neither of us had any experience with disciplinary spanking, it made sense to try to establish our roles in less threatening situations. After all, Mrs. Lion isn’t just going to suddenly tell me what’s bothering her and then punish me for my offense. That’s why we have our misdemeanors. They provided her with experience catching me doing something wrong, and me accepting punishment. It’s taken a long time to build up to a level of discipline that makes a strong impression on me. Mrs. Lion is now very successful at spanking me.

What we refer to as lioness 3.0, is Mrs. Lion being aware of things I say or do that upset her. Then, she must tell me about it and follow-up with punishment. Identifying offenses has been incredibly difficult for her. The fact that she processed and then discussed the fact that I upset her on Wednesday was a big step. I suggested that it was a spankable offense. She agreed, and Thursday night, I was spanked for it. That’s a terrific step for us both. Yesterday, in an email, I said that my bottom still hurt. She replied that she hoped it would remind me to think about what I did. Perfect!

heart paddle
It may hurt but Mrs. Lion punishes out of love. Contrary to the saying, it definitely hurts me more than it hurts her.

I’m not happy that I got punished, but I am pleased that Mrs. Lion processed my behavior and took action to try to teach me to be more aware of her. One of our readers suggested that she respond to my offense by keeping me caged longer, or worse yet, take my cage off. That sort of punishment isn’t useful for us. Longer-term retribution loses its impact because the offense fades from memory. A timely punishment like spanking allows me to associate my thoughtlessness with a very painful spanking. It conditions me to avoid the behavior that got me punished. The longer-term disciplines wouldn’t have that effect if I repeated the act. Mrs. Lion would have nothing else she could do. In this case, if I repeat that behavior, I can expect a longer (10 or 15 minutes versus five minute) spanking.

Behavior that is deeply embedded in our psyches isn’t going to change after a single disciplinary event. Mrs. Lion isn’t going to suddenly be able to detect and react to everything I do that upsets her. It’s going to take her time and effort to do that. Similarly, I’m probably going to be thoughtless again. It’s doubtful a single punishment will condition me away from that behavior. If it does, so much the better. If it doesn’t, Mrs. Lion will deal with it in a way that will help me learn not to do it again.

Unlike our misdemeanors, which are mainly BDSM, these more severe offenses need serious punishment to be corrected. Only a consistent response will do that. We’ve both learned that I learn by being punished for an offense. We discovered that when I was punished for spilling food on my shirt, I went from doing it frequently to rarely getting food there. In the scope of my life, that’s not a big deal. But it is a big deal in terms of the fact that we’ve proven that I can make changes as the result of disciplinary action. Now, we have to apply that same level of consistency to these more serious behavioral issues.

The bottom line is that Mrs. Lion and I want to make each other happy. I don’t need rules to do things that make her life more comfortable. I want to do that. And I do. We both came to like our BDSM misdemeanor “game.” So Mrs. Lion looks for other reasons to catch me and then punish me. Those punishments we call funishments: unpleasant but not severe things like mouth soaping and corner time. We both find it fun and exciting. That’s the reason I got punished, or should I say funished for forgetting to set up the coffee pot. It wasn’t that I needed severe discipline to get me to do my chores; it was just another way to play the game.

Spanking is reserved for serious offenses or dealing with repeated minor offenses. Mrs. Lion spanked me because I forgot for the fourth or fifth time to remind Mrs. Lion that Saturday is punishment day. I can expect another spanking if I forget again. It was the only time something in the realm of our funishments leaks into the more severe and painful spanking arena.

Both of us have been writing about the fact that I bleed when spanked. I had several theories about this. The one that I believe is correct is that my skin was dry, and when it began to swell during spanking, it cracked and bled. The solution, I thought, would be to moisturize that skin so that it is more flexible; soften it up for the blow. When Mrs. Lion spanked me on Thursday night, there was only a tiny bit of bleeding. She had put me in cotton panties so that it was the same set of conditions we had for the last two spankings. In those spankings, there was considerable bleeding. She is sure that she was just as harsh Thursday night, and there was almost no blood.

I will continue moisturizing my lower cheeks. I believe Mrs. Lion is going to go back to spanking my bare buns. Swatting bare skin is more painful, and she can see the visible results of her work. Mrs. Lion strives to achieve an even, dark-red color on the bottom half of my bottom. She tries to get the same color inside my crack as well. That was impossible, with me covered by the panties.

Before this most recent theory, we were both convinced I needed to toughen my hide. Mrs. Lion proposed to do this through spankings for punishment, and in weeks when I didn’t earn one, maintenance spankings as well. Perhaps she still has to work on my hide, but it’s clear that I have to continue moisturizing to keep it soft and pliable. As far as I could tell on Thursday night, having a moisturized rear end doesn’t change how sensitive it is.

It may seem odd that our domestic discipline is a cooperative affair with both of us supplying input. A disciplinary relationship is something we both want and have incorporated into our marriage. I owe it to Mrs. Lion to help her observe my offenses and correct me when I commit them. We are both on the same side. It will indeed hurt a lot after I tell her of something I did wrong and remind her to punish me. However, our goal is the same. We both want her to be more aware of things that bother her and to realize she has the power and the obligation to punish me when I commit them. We both profit when she does. A sore butt is a small price to pay.

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